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Poll

Bad Drawing Livestream

Yes
- 156 (42.6%)
No
- 17 (4.6%)
I have no opinion and prefer to select the zany "other" option on forum polls
- 193 (52.7%)

Total Members Voted: 364


Pages: 1 ... 43 44 [45] 46 47 ... 84

Author Topic: I badly draw your reports!  (Read 337122 times)

Jahsg

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #660 on: October 08, 2012, 12:47:59 pm »

This made me laugh out loud. Am i a horrible person?

warning... Candy spoiler
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
How exactly does one obtain a goblin baby? In other words, how is goblin babby formd?

mod the [pet] tag onto the female caste of goblins.. on any save even one that's going.. then pit one male and female gobbo together
« Last Edit: October 08, 2012, 12:51:52 pm by Jahsg »
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Xob Ludosmbax

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #661 on: October 08, 2012, 01:00:46 pm »

Posted this earlier, but I guess it somehow got lost in the ether of the net, because it's not showing up anywhere.

I'm up to the fifth year in the hippie dwarf surface fort commune, and I'm up to my ears in weretortoises.  I've had one or two visiting every year. 

Urist McTortoise sees that my fortress is all nice and secure on the surface, but the river runs through it.  Urist McTortoise jumps in the water and starts swimming. Urist McTortoise is all set to swim under the palisade and come out on the fishing pier to chew on the soft delicate center of the fortress.  Just as he swims under the palisade, Urist McTortoise transforms back, drowns, and gets swept off the map by the current. 

And a second report. 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Thanks in advance if either report strikes your imagination.

They Got Leader

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #662 on: October 10, 2012, 03:18:04 pm »

Weretortoises? That's... silly at best.
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Quote from: Urist McDwarfFortress
You do not understand the ways of Toady One. He is not a business, he's just a guy trying to make a fun game. He's invited people to come along and experience the journey with him (and help him test it out as he goes along). At the end of the day, I don't think his main goal is to sell Dwarf Fortress, its just to create the best game possible.

Loud Whispers

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #663 on: October 10, 2012, 03:27:07 pm »

This made me laugh out loud. Am i a horrible person?

warning... Candy spoiler
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
How exactly does one obtain a goblin baby? In other words, how is goblin babby formd?

mod the [pet] tag onto the female caste of goblins.. on any save even one that's going.. then pit one male and female gobbo together

What in the actual fuck, mermaid farming sure... But goblin baby farming??

doublestrafe

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #664 on: October 10, 2012, 04:45:09 pm »

This made me laugh out loud. Am i a horrible person?

warning... Candy spoiler
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
How exactly does one obtain a goblin baby? In other words, how is goblin babby formd?

mod the [pet] tag onto the female caste of goblins.. on any save even one that's going.. then pit one male and female gobbo together

What in the actual fuck, mermaid farming sure... But goblin baby farming??

Goblin Babies, we make our dreams come true
Goblin Babies, we're gonna ambush you

When your fort is out of beer and you're 'bout to go insane
Just close your eyes and make believe and we'll punch you in the brain...
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misko27

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #665 on: October 10, 2012, 04:46:42 pm »

This made me laugh out loud. Am i a horrible person?

warning... Candy spoiler
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
How exactly does one obtain a goblin baby? In other words, how is goblin babby formd?

mod the [pet] tag onto the female caste of goblins.. on any save even one that's going.. then pit one male and female gobbo together

What in the actual fuck, mermaid farming sure... But goblin baby farming??

Goblin Babies, we make our dreams come true
Goblin Babies, we're gonna ambush you

When your fort is out of beer and you're 'bout to go insane
Just close your eyes and make believe and we'll punch you in the brain...

Hey, Its about Damn Time that we use gobbo babies against them. They're always taking our babies. Time to fight fire with fire. Or Fire with babies, as the case may be.
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Eric Blank

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #666 on: October 10, 2012, 05:19:41 pm »

Fighting fires with babies sounds about like something a dwarf would do.

Speaking of things to draw involving babies and fire, in one fortress I had a battlemage dwarf in my ranger squad who was very prone to starting fires. This resulted in her somehow starting like 4 different fires at once while chasing buzzards around. So, the juicy bit is; during this ‼period‼, a mother carried her baby into the ‼woods‼ to murder some ‼buzzards‼. Logically, she burned to death. Illogically, the baby did not. Not only did the baby survive being in the dead center of one raging inferno, but on it's way back to the fort it managed to crawl right through three more walls of flames unharmed! It later died of thirst in the dining hall.

This fate was not shared with many other dwarves, including that goddamned battlemage and several other high-value members of the ranger squad. I do not have an excuse for letting that battlemage remain in the militia so long. I suppose that fortress was more of a ‼fortress‼ most of the time anyway, what with pet dragons "helping" the dwarves deal with the buzzard problem in their own special way.
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I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

hops

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #667 on: October 10, 2012, 05:34:46 pm »

I foresee the new version having nobles burning their kids and screaming "PRODUCE ME MORE JEWELRIES!!!"
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Graknorke

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #668 on: October 10, 2012, 05:53:43 pm »

I foresee the new version having nobles burning their kids and screaming "PRODUCE ME MORE JEWELRIES!!!"
If it reaches this point, we know that DF is nearing completion.
Flammable babies is a long-term goal.
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TKGP

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #669 on: October 10, 2012, 07:48:43 pm »

First off I just want to say I absolutely love this thread and the effort you put into it, Goomba.

Now, a bit of a lengthy one here if you're up for some reading.
Few forts back, my game had come to sort of a standstill; food and drink was both varied and sustainable, we were constantly cranking out ludicrously valuable trinkets, we had a squad of a legendary hammerdwarves and a sophisticated trap system at the gate. Dwarves mostly just sat around in a nice statue garden all day, and consequently almost everyone was a legendary conversationalist or whatever.
One day a goblin siege pops up, which is nothing out of the ordinary. They get eviscerated by masterwork steel serrated discs as usual, but one of the squads ends up standing still out in a field because their leader was cage trapped. I decided to send out a random peasant to either scare them off or drag them into the traps, but things don't go as planned. The peasant flips out when he sees them and starts running around in circles, whereupon the squad kills him and then flees off the map.
Remember that bit about legendary social skills? Every damn dwarf in the fortress starts going insane, either because of the goblin fodder dying or because they've started beating each other to death as a result of it. I station my hammerdwarves right on the central stair shaft; they aren't affected as much by the madness spiral because they've been training for years rather than partying. Every second or two another dwarf goes berserk and is immediately squashed by the military, but one by one the less skilled of them are bludgeoned to death or succumb to insanity, until there's only one left.
The fort had over 200 dwarves when this started, and when his last squadmate bites the dust there are still 70 left. He kills every single one.
At the end of the gruesome battle the entire fortress is spattered with dwarf guts, limbs, vomit, etc. Standing at the center of this maelstrom of chaos is our lone warrior, at this point a stupendous badass in skill points.

Here's the part I'd love you to draw:

Urist McHammerlord ends up in a square stockpile room with the staircase in the center. He heads for the stairs to get some food, which lies only a single floor up, when suddenly he is stopped short by the sight of some lovecraftian horror lurking in the far corner of the room. Dare I name this terrifying creature?
Stray Duck
After slaughtering endless goblins and a fortressworth of his brethren, our hammerlord is trapped in a room by his fear of a duck. The duck runs for the staircase to escape but is frightened of the hammerlord. The hammerlord runs for the staircase but is frightened of the duck. The room is too small for either of them to get there without noticing the other one, and since the duck is part of my civ I can't tell the dwarf to attack it. He begins starving before finally being battered to death by a ghost.

I love this game.
(Sorry for the wall of text.)
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Well if COD players all have ADHD, and Minecrafters autism, then what do DF players all have?
Cave adaption.

RandolphCarter

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #670 on: October 11, 2012, 05:57:44 am »

While asking around the best misc weapon ever somebody suggested containers.
I promptly made a swordsman with experience in misc object and obtained a coffin from my retired fort where she would stuff the bodies of her conquered foes inside. After 4 kills I switched to using the coffin to bludgeon people, and a while later I have some dragons inside. The strike would make the victim fly into things and explode in gore.

"There is only one thing important: that you have to die." Django

Edit:
« Last Edit: October 11, 2012, 06:33:07 am by RandolphCarter »
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Yoink

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #671 on: October 11, 2012, 06:16:19 am »

So, I decided to clean up the dining hall after the recent chaos. Unfortunately a few dwarves had been buried in the dump shaft, (space limitations, y'know) leading to... Problems.

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vadia

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #672 on: October 11, 2012, 10:23:27 am »

You strike the peasant with your Bengal pak Nagasaki or whatnot silver coin but the attack passes right through.

Why it's not in my bag I cannot say.
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misko27

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #673 on: October 11, 2012, 03:56:26 pm »

1st Obsidian
-A faxworker mooded.
-Moody dwarf wants bones. Butchered a drake.,

20th Granite
Going deeper!
-Faxworker didn'ät accept the bones even though there were plenty. Went berkerk. (So it begins.,.)

19th Slate
-Dead faxworker's body is stinking up the place. Miansma everywhere. Darn peasant.
Edited for basic coherence. In drunk fortress, a fax worker mooded. He likely meant wax worker, but its fun to imagine. I demand to know what he was making.
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ZeroSumHappiness

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Re: I badly draw your reports!
« Reply #674 on: October 11, 2012, 05:19:27 pm »

TPS Cover Sheet.
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