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[GoombaGeek]

As a rule, all of my dorfs are always decked out in robes, trousers, and shoes. I locked my noble and dwarven diplomat in a room. The noble chose, against all reason, to ignore the diplomat until he went stark raving mad. I then locked the noble out of his own room to let the diplomat die in peace. The noble was grumpy for having been denied access to his room, and did not seem to mind finding the diplomat dead by starvation, dehydration, and a case of the crazies.

Can you make this into an alphabet book?

A is for Axe, driven into a wound.
B is for Baby, murdered by his mother.
C is for Cavy Boar, scaring the lumberdwarves.

I plan to make an actual one in ASCII Magazine.

is it sad that when I saw this my first thought was " I hope goomba will draw that " XD

the answer is yes

So here's a thing. A while ago I had some goblins over for tea and violence, and the first incident was one of my marksdwarves shooting a goblin in the lower leg with a masterwork steel arrow. What took me by surprise was that the goblin immediately gave in to pain. The marksdwarf was of medium skill, and the goblin didn't seem particularly frail. So I surmised that the deciding factor must have been the ☼steel arrow☼.

So I have to wonder, if it really hurt that much to get hit by it, what does a ☼steel arrow☼ actually look like?

I'll drop you into the pit of Armless vampires...

Edit:  actually draw that....

five alligators and seven trogs vs a single soldier with an iron spear anda fungiwood tower shield, three war elephants and a war giant beetle. the beetle's carapace is blue for reference.

If you want to know the details, I'll tell you how badly we lost afterwards.

Alligators and trogs won. They didn't beat the animals but they sure as hell killed all the dwarves.

Unfortunately, I have no report for this. I only started playing recently, and I'm still very much a noob. Fortunately, the story is still quite interesting on account of that fact.

For a long time, I had no idea how to make weapons. Having no clue how to make weapons yet, I was forced to simply arm my militia with their god-given weapons, their fists. Then it came from the depths.

I had recently dug into a cavern, and made the mistake of not sealing the path back upwards towards the bulk of my base. Needless to say, fun happened.

A troll came from the depths, and killed one of the poor regular dwarves. In desperation, I set nearly my entire force of nine dwarven militiadwarves against him. By the power of Armok and by their fists, they knocked the troll out, then preceeded to punch and kick it senseless. Then it woke up. Then it retched, vomited over my soldiers and then it lost conciousness again. It kept waking up to vomit again and again until it finally gave into pain.

At the same time this was happening, a giant worm was also coming up the stairwell. It too suffered a similar fate at the hands of the dwarves.

[Splint]

Elephants with scary red eyes, one mounted bya giant beetle. Yes.

Take off that last bit and it seems almost like a boatmurdered reversal, with the elephants helping the dorfs, even if they didn't kill ALL of the alligators in time.

[Nyxalinth]

As a rule, all of my dorfs are always decked out in robes, trousers, and shoes. I locked my noble and dwarven diplomat in a room. The noble chose, against all reason, to ignore the diplomat until he went stark raving mad. I then locked the noble out of his own room to let the diplomat die in peace. The noble was grumpy for having been denied access to his room, and did not seem to mind finding the diplomat dead by starvation, dehydration, and a case of the crazies.

CONGRATURATION

YOU ARE MAKE FIVE HUNDRED REPLY

YOU ARE WIN DELICIOUS CAEK

SOLOMON GRUNDY WANT CAEK, TOO!!!!!1111

[ZeroSumHappiness]

Like The GashleyCrumb Tinies?

Make sure you read W.

[DiezIrae]

Could you draw this?

My carpenter, Armok may have his blood, began drowning near a waterfall and they would be 'missing'... forever and ever...

[Mr S]

Couldn't find the poor sod through the mist?  I can see it now:

Lokem McWorriedAboutMissingHusband: "I just love coming to the waterfall.  Watching the mist clears my head when I get worried about poor Urist.  I wish he'd come home.  He'd love it here..."

[Graknorke]

Not really a proper report, but I'll go with it.
I was besieged, and I'd set up a pump system to flood out the courtyard so I could secure it again. Thing is, I got the water pressure wrong (thought that pressure brought it up to the same level, rather than to -1), and it was just my militia commander hauling away at that pump with all his might, convinced he was flooding the outside of the undead menace, when really he was just making a little pool of knee-high water trickle through some fortifications in the entrance tunnel.

Fun was had afterwards.

[GoombaGeek]

SOLOMON GRUNDY WANT CAEK, TOO!!!!!1111

I THIKN HE IS FROM BAT MAN LOL

Could you draw this?

My carpenter, Armok may have his blood, began drowning near a waterfall and they would be 'missing'... forever and ever...

I'm sorry. English may not be your first language. You may have been tired. Maybe you're trying to use a crappy iPhone keyboard.

But this sentence makes no sense to me and I drew an equally nonsensical image. So there.

Not really a proper report, but I'll go with it.
I was besieged, and I'd set up a pump system to flood out the courtyard so I could secure it again. Thing is, I got the water pressure wrong (thought that pressure brought it up to the same level, rather than to -1), and it was just my militia commander hauling away at that pump with all his might, convinced he was flooding the outside of the undead menace, when really he was just making a little pool of knee-high water trickle through some fortifications in the entrance tunnel.

Fun was had afterwards.

COME ON URIST PUMP FASTER
PUMP FASTER URIST
PUMP FASTER

[MrWillsauce]

His meaning seemed pretty obvious to me. His carpenter got stuck under a waterfall and was perpetually listed as "missing".

[GoombaGeek]

WELL I DIDNT GET IT

MAYBE I'M STUPID OK U GAIZ?

IM GOIN 2 GO CUT MY RISTS NAO

[NAV]

The marsh titan (a giant leech with a shell)
The marsh titan spits webs
you are caught in a web and fall over
the marsh titan bites your head
The marsh titan shakes you around by the head, breaking the upper spine
you drop the copper spear
the marsh titan shakes you around by the head x4
the marsh titan sucks all your blood out through your head
you have bled to death

That was the whole fight. I think i remember it correctly.

[misko27]

Ow.

[MrWillsauce]

You misspelled "fun"

[Loud Whispers]

Sometimes it can be easy to forget just how large clowns are. Or what you are actually putting your Dwarves through.

Geez, we've been pitting out Dwarves against an army of lovecraftian entities every single time, expecting them to win, die or both. DF have no monster like an overseer from the surface.

[misko27]

Sometimes it can be easy to forget just how large clowns are. Or what you are actually putting your Dwarves through.

Geez, we've been pitting out Dwarves against an army of lovecraftian entities every single time, expecting them to win, die or both. DF have no monster like an overseer from the surface.

Yeah, wow, I always picture them as the size of humans, but wow.