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[Splint]

I just had a Forgotten Beast made of steam show up in the caverns. My dwarves dispatched it rather easily of course, but then decided they should dump the leftover piles of steam on the surface. They had no problem with that, which confuses me, but I'm sure you can figure out how it looks...

How the hell do you dump steam... That makes no sense! AAAAUGH!

Splint cancels function: Brain asploded trying to comprehend that.

Ok, I'm done now.

[Loud Whispers]

"Don't worry Urist, now all we need to do is stitch the teeth back together with adamantine strands..."

[vadia]

"Don't worry Urist, now all we need to do is stitch the teeth back together with adamantine strands..."

%$&%&%^*!!!! They've all been forbidden -- MY teeth!

[Joben]

I just had a Forgotten Beast made of steam show up in the caverns. My dwarves dispatched it rather easily of course, but then decided they should dump the leftover piles of steam on the surface. They had no problem with that, which confuses me, but I'm sure you can figure out how it looks...

That's sorta like the time when my soap makers were claiming there was no lye when there was. So in annoyance I ordered all the lye dumped since they wouldn't use it anyway. So they took the lye out of the barrels and carried it to the dump in their hands.

(A) wha...how?
(B) No chemical burns?

[They Got Leader]

I just had a Forgotten Beast made of steam show up in the caverns. My dwarves dispatched it rather easily of course, but then decided they should dump the leftover piles of steam on the surface. They had no problem with that, which confuses me, but I'm sure you can figure out how it looks...

That's sorta like the time when my soap makers were claiming there was no lye when there was. So in annoyance I ordered all the lye dumped since they wouldn't use it anyway. So they took the lye out of the barrels and carried it to the dump in their hands.

(A) wha...how?
(B) No chemical burns?

It's Dwarf Fortress. Stop asking questions.

[GoombaGeek]

But missing out the beards of Dwarves is like missing out a head or a leg for the sake of simplicity.

[Splint]

I take it that body has been strung up with fishing line.

[Ki11aGhost]

Didn't save a battle report or anything, but I had this elven caravan in my fortress, and they were bitching. I went along with their demands because I didn't want to lose trade with them (Half my fucking fortress was addicted to strawberry wine and other such nonsense.), so I finished up the meeting, and sent my broker to the Trade Depot. There, he found a few rope reeds sprinkled with prickle berries.
Murder.
I send a squad to take them out. The elves die easy, (This is an experienced squad with multiple weapon types.) and my squad moves on to their pack animals. This goes just as easily, except for one pesky yak who just refused to die. While I'm distracted in the mining sector, he basically takes out the whole squad. I come back up to see how everything's going, and I see a field of bodies covered in Yak Vomit, and a named Yak prouncing away happily to the edge of the map, where I like to think he took a massive dump before exitting.

tl;dr - Yak slaughtered my army, and then proceeded to regurgitate on them.

Edit: I think the Yak escaped with just a messed up stomach and some various cuts and bruises, btw. Don't remember. Something like that.

[Nyxalinth]

tl;dr - Yak slaughtered my army, and then proceeded to regurgitate on them.

I have another involving Yak Barf

My mama yak decided she didn't have enough pasture space and started attacking her baby, and kicked it in the stomach.  Cue three pages of baby yak barfing, even after it was re-pastured.  One of my dorfs got barf on him I think as well.

[GoombaGeek]

It was awhile ago so no screncap, but I do remember the fight (paraphrased):

The Hammerdwarf bites the Thrips woman in the left foot, breaking the skin and bruising the muscle!
The Hammerdwarf latches on firmly!
The Hammerdwarf shakes the Thrips woman vigorously by the left foot, and the part breaks off!
The Hammerdwarf keeps his hold on the severed part.

So, basically, hammerdworf ignored ignored his hammer and promptly bit a Thrips woman on the foot, at which point he shook his head vigorously and ripped it off, and he proceeded to carry it around in his mouth.  (There were no injuries or other obstacles to using his hammer, he just bit down and went for it.)

I just had a Forgotten Beast made of steam show up in the caverns. My dwarves dispatched it rather easily of course, but then decided they should dump the leftover piles of steam on the surface. They had no problem with that, which confuses me, but I'm sure you can figure out how it looks...

This raises some questions if you're one of those science fact people.
- Natural gas is colourless in real life. However, this stuff has impurities, and more importantly it is impossible to do a sight gag with no sight.
- The air is magic. Shut up.

I just had a Forgotten Beast made of steam show up in the caverns. My dwarves dispatched it rather easily of course, but then decided they should dump the leftover piles of steam on the surface. They had no problem with that, which confuses me, but I'm sure you can figure out how it looks...

That's sorta like the time when my soap makers were claiming there was no lye when there was. So in annoyance I ordered all the lye dumped since they wouldn't use it anyway. So they took the lye out of the barrels and carried it to the dump in their hands.

(A) wha...how?
(B) No chemical burns?

EXPLANATION GIVEN

Didn't save a battle report or anything, but I had this elven caravan in my fortress, and they were bitching. I went along with their demands because I didn't want to lose trade with them (Half my fucking fortress was addicted to strawberry wine and other such nonsense.), so I finished up the meeting, and sent my broker to the Trade Depot. There, he found a few rope reeds sprinkled with prickle berries.
Murder.
I send a squad to take them out. The elves die easy, (This is an experienced squad with multiple weapon types.) and my squad moves on to their pack animals. This goes just as easily, except for one pesky yak who just refused to die. While I'm distracted in the mining sector, he basically takes out the whole squad. I come back up to see how everything's going, and I see a field of bodies covered in Yak Vomit, and a named Yak prouncing away happily to the edge of the map, where I like to think he took a massive dump before exitting.

tl;dr - Yak slaughtered my army, and then proceeded to regurgitate on them.

Edit: I think the Yak escaped with just a messed up stomach and some various cuts and bruises, btw. Don't remember. Something like that.

tl;dr - Yak slaughtered my army, and then proceeded to regurgitate on them.

I have another involving Yak Barf

My mama yak decided she didn't have enough pasture space and started attacking her baby, and kicked it in the stomach.  Cue three pages of baby yak barfing, even after it was re-pastured.  One of my dorfs got barf on him I think as well.

Making it look sitting down took some annoying tweaks that don't look right.

On the other hand, Dwarven Childcare: It isn't just for dwarves anymore.

[They Got Leader]

I don't have a report, perse, but rather one of my axedwarves is walking around in medium quality iron armor with a pig tail sock that is dyed blue and is adorned with hanging rings of kaolinite...

[Splint]

So.... One bitchin' sock then.

[They Got Leader]

So.... One bitchin' sock then.

It is only *150, though. His cloak is worth more...

[Cheesoburgor]

The great fight between a dragon and a zombie duck that doesen't stay dead

[Sus]

This:

This just showed up. 2-year-old fort, etc etc, fairly standard, and I have no idea what in the name of Armok's left testicle this thing does.


I still have no idea.

This made me lol.

It also left behind "lower body water" and "water laced with water, water, water, water, water, water, and water"

Water no longer looks like a word.

simply must be drawn.