Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Yes

156 (42.6%)

No

17 (4.6%)

I have no opinion and prefer to select the zany "other" option on forum polls

193 (52.7%)

Total Members Voted: 364

[WaffleEggnog]

Oh, oh, pick me, pick me!
I have a really old one. I don't have the exact combat report, but what happened is a goblin got shot through both legs, then tried to go through my line of iron serrated disk traps.... on the ground..... head first.....

Another one I have happened during the same siege. A goblin master lasher goes on my weapon trap, gets one of his legs chopped off, dodges off, goes back on, gets his other leg chopped off, dodges off, with no legs now, he goes on it AGAIN, and gets his lower body chopped off. He somehow manages to dodge off as half a man, and, in one last effor to get through the trap, the crawls into it as half a man. And dies.

You can only do 1 if you want, though it would be badass to see both. Thanks in advance for the incoming picture of pure badassery.

[GoombaGeek]

Oh, oh, pick me, pick me!
I have a really old one. I don't have the exact combat report, but what happened is a goblin got shot through both legs, then tried to go through my line of iron serrated disk traps.... on the ground..... head first.....

Another one I have happened during the same siege. A goblin master lasher goes on my weapon trap, gets one of his legs chopped off, dodges off, goes back on, gets his other leg chopped off, dodges off, with no legs now, he goes on it AGAIN, and gets his lower body chopped off. He somehow manages to dodge off as half a man, and, in one last effor to get through the trap, the crawls into it as half a man. And dies.

You can only do 1 if you want, though it would be badass to see both. Thanks in advance for the incoming picture of pure badassery.

[WealthyRadish]

Before the clothing update, I had a nude axelord (with nothing but a training axe) bite a goblin general in the arm who was mounted on a giant olm, and then shake it around until the arm was ripped off. That'd be interesting.

[Scelly9]

A crocodile bit my one adventurer's companions by the foot and tore it off, then he tore the nose off another, then finally he bit me by the back left tooth and shook me around.

[MrWillsauce]

My militia captain was completely naked except for her crossbow and quiver. She was naked because I was screwing with her uniform trying to get her to equip an artifact bronze glove I had in the artifact vault. While I was trying to do that, I noticed that the glove was missing from the vault and that there was a kobold in my fort. I sent my marksdorf squad after it, and the captain was the first on scene. She shot the kobold in the leg just as he made it out of the trapped entrance tunnel. She walked up to him as he struggled to get off the edge of the map and she beat him to death with her fists, crossbow, and teeth. When he finally gave into the pain, she finally put the bloody (literally) glove on.

[Corai]

I once got ambushed by my modbolds, and they successfully managed to be dicks. The entire ambush were bowbolds, and they wiped out my ironclad army in 4-5 seconds IRL.


Can you draw this?

[GoombaGeek]

Before the clothing update, I had a nude axelord (with nothing but a training axe) bite a goblin general in the arm who was mounted on a giant olm, and then shake it around until the arm was ripped off. That'd be interesting.

A crocodile bit my one adventurer's companions by the foot and tore it off, then he tore the nose off another, then finally he bit me by the back left tooth and shook me around.

My militia captain was completely naked except for her crossbow and quiver. She was naked because I was screwing with her uniform trying to get her to equip an artifact bronze glove I had in the artifact vault. While I was trying to do that, I noticed that the glove was missing from the vault and that there was a kobold in my fort. I sent my marksdorf squad after it, and the captain was the first on scene. She shot the kobold in the leg just as he made it out of the trapped entrance tunnel. She walked up to him as he struggled to get off the edge of the map and she beat him to death with her fists, crossbow, and teeth. When he finally gave into the pain, she finally put the bloody (literally) glove on.

THUMBS UP

WHY DON'T YOU TRY DRAWING HANDS WITH YOUR MOUSE WHILE EATING SNACK CRACKERS YOURSELF THEN?!

I once got ambushed by my modbolds, and they successfully managed to be dicks. The entire ambush were bowbolds, and they wiped out my ironclad army in 4-5 seconds IRL.


Can you draw this?

VICTOLY

[doublestrafe]

During my last siege, a cave crocodile head landed on top of a tree in the evil biome to the south of my fortress entrance. I've stationed archers around it, and they mostly keep it dead, but it keeps coming to life right when anyone to cut the tree down and scaring them away.

not really a head but oh well 

HOLY FRIGGIN CRAP that's awesome! You need an "I awesomely draw your reports" thread.

[Gentlefish]

I'm gonna say you used the watercolor brush in the new MSpaint. Am I right/wrong?

Also, what are you using, GoombaGeek? Those .gifs are pretty sweet.

[Sus]

Oh, oh, pick me, pick me!
I have a really old one. I don't have the exact combat report, but what happened is a goblin got shot through both legs, then tried to go through my line of iron serrated disk traps.... on the ground..... head first.....

Another one I have happened during the same siege. A goblin master lasher goes on my weapon trap, gets one of his legs chopped off, dodges off, goes back on, gets his other leg chopped off, dodges off, with no legs now, he goes on it AGAIN, and gets his lower body chopped off. He somehow manages to dodge off as half a man, and, in one last effor to get through the trap, the crawls into it as half a man. And dies.

You can only do 1 if you want, though it would be badass to see both. Thanks in advance for the incoming picture of pure badassery.

Possibly a relative of this guy?
The Black knight pushes the King in the upper body, bruising the muscle!

That reminded me of an old one: Literally less than five minutes after embark, a goddamn alligator out of nowhere tore off my miner's left hand, right lower arm and left cheek. He was still "quite content" afterwards, but kept failing to pick up his equipment due to not having any hands left... I think it said something about "minor injuries" (!) in his Thoughts section.

[Splint]

A crundle bit my macedorf sergeant's ear off. She then proceeded to bite off the crundle's head. Anyone else curious as to what the hell a crundle looks like? And for reference/hits and giggles, she goes maces akimbo.

[PlutoniumApe]

A crundle bit my macedorf sergeant's ear off. She then proceeded to bite off the crundle's head. Anyone else curious as to what the hell a crundle looks like? And for reference/hits and giggles, she goes maces akimbo.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sorry for the thread-hijack
Just drew up some crundles for my forum game and had to portray this 

edit: damn it was a SHE
oh well, they both have beards, right?

[Kamin]

A crundle bit my macedorf sergeant's ear off. She then proceeded to bite off the crundle's head. Anyone else curious as to what the hell a crundle looks like? And for reference/hits and giggles, she goes maces akimbo.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sorry for the thread-hijack
Just drew up some crundles for my forum game and had to portray this 

edit: damn it was a SHE
oh well, they both have beards, right?

You never cease to amaze me, Ape.

[MadocComadrin]

How about this?

This:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I get the image that she kicked him in the face after wall-running up his body, using her grip on the weapons as an axle of sorts. XD

[Nyxalinth]

I don't have the report anymore, but a Kobold and one of my militia were fighting.  He knocks the kobold away 20 spaces, and said kobold collides with my woodcutter, sending them both into a tree.  Kobold became Explodebold, and Urist McUnbreakable walked off without a scratch :O

Captain Hammerdwarf

That is even more awesome than expected