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[lawastooshort]

I must admit I am disappointed no one rode the milk truck.

Stand by for Episode Four later (possibly) this evening!

Edit: Also, a question. Should I continue with this beyond Episode 4 (which I am compelled to do) or should I instead start my other current idea about a game involving cops after this Episode? Hmm. Either way, I will have a lot of delays next month. Hmm.

[Toaster]

What, you don't feel like you could run 3+ RTDs at once?   

[Greenstarfanatic]

At least go one more episode.

I'm not doing this because I'm second in line.

Not at all.

>.>

<.<

_{Not at all....}

[lawastooshort]

Episode Four: Milk!

The Village of Ardglass Church…

”RIGHT. WELL. SINCE THAT GOBSHITE MCCUSTARD HAS BEEN SHOT IN THE ARSE AND FIRED FOR BEING A WEREWOLF, SOME EEJIT NEEDS TO DELIVER THE FECKIN’ MILK ROUND HERE. IF THESE VILLAGERS DON’T GET THEIR MILK, THERE’S NO TELLING WHAT DARK GODS THEY MIGHT TURN TO. SO, I NEED ONE OF YOU ARSEBISCUITS TO DELIVER THE FECKIN’ MILK.”

Bishop Lennan stares angrily at the four priests.

”AND SINCE SOME FECKER BURNT DOWN THE LAST FECKING CHURCH, WE’RE HERE IN ARDGLASS IN THIS MISERABLE BASTARD OF A VILLAGE AND NOT IN FECKIN’ TERMONFECKIN, WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT. YOU’VE MANAGED TO PERSUADE THE LOCAL POPULATION THAT CATHOLIC PRIESTS ARE ALL ABOUT ASSAULT AND ARSON. WHILST NAKED. I WANT YOU TO PUT A STOP TO IT.”

Bishop Lennan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a set of keys and a piece of paper.

”THIS HERE IS THE DELIVERY SCHEDULE FOR TODAY. ONE OF YOU FECKERS TAKE THESE KEYS AND GET DELIVERING! THE REST OF YOU: GET OUT THERE AND DO SOME GOOD!”

”But… Your Grace… we’re priests!” protests Father Brown. ”Delivering milk isn’t really our area!”

”NOTHING IS YOUR FECKING AREA, YOU BIG BUNCH OF BOLLOCKS! YOU DON’T HAVE AN AREA. UNLESS IT IS SOME KIND OF PLAY AREA, WITH BALLS, AND FIRE-PROOF TOYS, AND PADDED FECKIN’ WALLS! NOW GO DO WHAT YOU’RE TOLD, RIGHT?!”

No priests are naked!

We shall proceed once someone volunteers to become Milkman Priest!

Spoiler: Episode Four Mechanics (click to show/hide)

In the continued absence (maybe) of death and in the interest of keeping things moving along and stuff, there is a rotating cast. There are four priests in this Episode. The least excellent (or, if you will, the most bad) priest will be replaced by a waitlisting priest (Father Fusco) for Episode Five. The excellence (or awfulness) of priests will (again) be determined by Priest Operative Points.

The goal of the Episode is two-fold: deliver Rolly Island from its critical domestic milk shortage and restore the faith of the island in the fully clothed pacific nature of its priests! Things will become clearer in due course…

Spoiler: POPS (click to show/hide)

Milkman Priest: For every delivery you complete (there are six to be done!) you will receive +2 POPS! There will be a -2 POPS penalty for every delivery you do not complete! For every Mass you hold, you will receive +2 POPS!

Non-Milkman Priests: For every Mass you hold, you will receive +2 POPS! You may hold THREE Masses! For explaining on live TV that not all priests are violent nude arsonists, you will receive +5 POPS!

There will be TEN turns in which to achieve your goals!
Further Instructions will again be sent by PM where relevant!

POPs will of course again be deducted for Unpriestly, Criminal, Shameful, Murderous, and Blasphemous actions (in ascending order of seriousness).

Spoiler: Delivery Schedule (click to show/hide)

Mrs O’Doherty – 2 pints
Mrs Moloney – 2 pints
Mrs McFinnickerty – 2 pints
Mrs Daly – 2 pints
Mrs McDaly – 2 pints
Mrs O’Daly – 7 pints

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

Father Lars
Father Brown
Father Reilly
Father Fusco

[Toaster]

I would volunteer, but I was Head Priest last time.  I'll abstain for a bit in case someone else does.


Also I'll be gone tomorrow and Friday, so I may be a bit slow to start.

[Digital Hellhound]

And I got too much done, so pass as well.

Aww, Mrs McAnally isn't on the delivery list anymore? That poor woman.

[monk12]

If I had to go out, I'm glad it was with a smashing musical number. Now I can watch some other eejit mess everything up!

I think somebody should deliver milk to Mrs. McAnally anyway. WIIIIIINK

[lawastooshort]

If I had to go out, I'm glad it was with a smashing musical number.

Before being chased entirely naked by an angry werewolf-hating mob round a burning church on television as the bishop looks on?

Anyway, will no one deliver milk? Go on.


Edit: Father Boggar has had to drop out and is replaced by Father Fusco.

[Greenstarfanatic]

 Grab the keys and run off, loading up the cart with...6 pints of milk and drive off to the first delivery!


And I'm taking Spaghetti's spot!

[lawastooshort]

Episode Four: Turn Zero: Why Did I Become a Priest?!

The Village of Ardglass Church…

Grab the keys and run off, loading up the cart with...6 pints of milk and drive off to the first delivery!

…”Drive a feckin’ milk float? I’ve ALWAYS feckin’ wanted to drive a feckin’ milk float,” says Father Fusco, grabbing the keys out of Bishop Lennan’s hand before any other feckin’ priest can react and sprinting out of the church.

”Feck me,” he says, arriving outside in the churchyard and seeing the shining milk float in all its glory. ”Why the feckin’ feck did I feckin’ well become a feckin’ priest?”

Father Fusco checks there’s plenty of milk on the milk float and heads off towards Mrs O’Doherty’s house in downtown Termonfeckin.

Erm

”Right so then,” says Father Brown. ”That’s all that business sorted out then. Who wants a cup of tea?”

”THERE’LL BE NO FECKIN’ TEA YOU GREAT GOBSHITE,” announces Bishop Lennan. ”YOU FECKIN’ WELL NEED TO GET OUT THERE IN YON FECKIN’ PARISH AND POINT OUT TO THE FECKIN’ PARISHIONERS THAT YOU’RE NOT ALL A BUNCH OF FECKIN’ NUDIST EEJITS. COME ON, SHOO!”

”Oh right so. Erm.” decides Father Lars. ”If that’s the case then I think we feckin’ need...”

”Yes?” wonders Father Reilly, hopefully. ”A nice singalong?”

”No.” says Father Lars, decisively. ”We need a feckin’ plan.”

No priests are naked!

Spoiler: Delivery Schedule (click to show/hide)

Mrs O’Doherty – 2 pints
Mrs Moloney – 2 pints
Mrs McFinnickerty – 2 pints
Mrs Daly – 2 pints
Mrs McDaly – 2 pints
Mrs O’Daly – 7 pints

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

Father Lars
Father Brown
Father Reilly
Father Fusco

[Digital Hellhound]

'Yes,' Father Brown says. 'And my plan is to stay as far away from you gobshites as feckin' possible. Fecking sad excuses for members of the Catholic clergy, the pair of you.'

With this wise antagonizing of his fellow priests, Father Brown sets out to his parish to prepare a village feast on the church grounds. Nothing can wrong there.

[Greenstarfanatic]

"Boy, are those feckers missin' out! This is the feckin' life right here, it is!"

Seeing as everything is going swimmingly, start singing. If I come across some of those bastard children, show off by ghost riding the whip.

Yeah, that'll show those bloody bastards whose cool in town!

[micelus]

"...Eh, true enough."[/color

Get to my parish and hold a conciliatory fair/mass to show that the clergy aren't so bloody insane.

[Toaster]

"Righto, Bishop!  I think that TV station liked our Mass, so why don't we try it again?  Come along!"

Drag Lennan to the TV station from T1 last episode and Mass again on TV with Lennan!

[monk12]

You are a brave man, Toaster.