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Author Topic: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done  (Read 6198 times)

Scootagoose

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #30 on: February 12, 2013, 03:03:49 pm »

Dear Urist McMood

I was afraid that you might make some useless toy boat, that is worth about half the fortress because you jammed a small countries worth of gold onto it, but you didn't, instead you jammed a small countries worth of steel, silver and gold onto a hammer. I am quite pleased with this.


Sincerly,
Your lovable tyrant, Scootagoose.
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Unf.

Spy227X

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #31 on: February 12, 2013, 08:23:58 pm »

Dear Colossusurist McMiner,
Thank you for doing everything that requires any kind of skill in strength.
Only the Metalsmith is better than you at anything.
Sincerely,
Mysterious Force
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.

edgefigaro

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #32 on: February 12, 2013, 08:34:50 pm »

Dear UristMcBroker
After you finished your trading with the caravan, you spammed me with "Unable to put item in stockpile" messages for ages. I turned off all your labors, even hauling. I was worried you were going insane, you started not moving, sleeping right there at the depot.  Thank you for alerting us of the impending goblin ambush. Your noble sacrifice put me out of a headache.

Sincerely,
Viceroy edgefigaro
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Lich180

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #33 on: February 12, 2013, 11:04:29 pm »

To all whom it may concern (all the fort populace):

Thank you for being patient while the grand design for the underground fort has been painstakingly designated, dug, smoothed, and engraved. I know it sucks royally to have to live in the soil layers for so long, and split 12 or so beds between all 50 of you (20 of which are children) and enjoying the not-so-impressive dining room, which no one seems to use any more, instead taking meals and drinks in the food stockpile.

Also, I really hope you enjoy the bituminous coal statue of a chicken a moody mason made. It will be designated as a meeting hall soon enough. But for now, there is work to be done, and goblins to prepare for.
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JimDale

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #34 on: February 12, 2013, 11:12:23 pm »

Dear the late Urist McExtremelyTerribleEntireMilitia

Thank you for all getting terribly mauled/killed by that Giant Tiger. Now it's got a full-blown title and is quite skilled in combat. After falling into the cage traps that were five tiles away from where it killed the majority of you, it is now tamed. You've all saved me the trouble of having to feed it crippled goblins later on to give it an impressive title.
A job well done, and kudos to you.

Sincerely, The Fortress Watcherman
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Sulacsol

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #35 on: February 23, 2013, 09:53:19 pm »

Dear Urists McWarriors,

Despite your raw, untrained state, you proceeded to handle my first ever goblin ambush quite well. I was particularly impressed with you, Urist McCommander - your very first swing severed the goblin's arm and sent it's silver war hammer flying with it. Not a single one of you so much as took a wind, blocking every swing the goblins launched at you. You didn't even get to test out your freshly forged iron armor, which our Master Armorer is still working on the complete sets on for over half of you. So, good job. Now, get back to training! The next ambush may not be so easy!

Yours truly, Your Newly Appointed Overseer

Dear Lamb McAwesome

Despite being born only a few weeks ago, you proved your worth and earned yourself a permanent respite from the slaughterhouse with your actions. Not only did you get attacked by the Goblins, altering me to their prescense, you led their commander on a merry chase, away from the rest of the pack. When he managed to catch you, you blocked his first two swings with his maul with your hooves (not sure how a baby goat hoof can make a maul glance away, but, still...) then dodged his charge and made him trip over a boulder, stunning him. You also bruised both his hands and his liver with your baby goat horns. I regret that he then proceeded to rupture your intestines, open your throat, and cut off both your right hooves, but I am very pleased that you not only survived but don't even bear scars from the throat and liver wounds. I am already planning on how to turn you into a god. I shall name you Gorgoroth, Destroyer Of Worlds!

-Sincerely, Your Overlord
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Sutremaine

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #36 on: February 23, 2013, 10:24:37 pm »

the dead-in-the-water pumpstack (no magmaproof materials on the map to make tubes/screws from, what was i thinking?
You were thinking that you'd act as though magma actually passed through the pumps?
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Larix

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #37 on: February 24, 2013, 02:09:02 am »

the dead-in-the-water pumpstack (no magmaproof materials on the map to make tubes/screws from, what was i thinking?
You were thinking that you'd act as though magma actually passed through the pumps?

Yeah, i guess. I would have had to grow nethercaps or something - no trade, invaders off, no sand or iron on the site. Well, the cave-in meant i didn't have to worry about this, because it smashed right through the middle of it. And as i said, the miner survived and made a full recovery.

@edgefigaro re: broken broker - can it be you assigned the broker to a burrow encompassing the depot and nothing else? 'unable to put item in stockpile' and failing to go to the bedroom sounds like a burrow problem; it would of course be helpful if cancellation messages actually _mentioned_ their being caused by burrow restrictions.

Dear Urist McRanger,

You've proved your worth for the fortress by keeping our stockpiles clean of creeping vermin for about twenty years now, and your record is impressive: you're a legendary trapper (something not seen often) and animal trainer, you've caught and tamed more than 1050 small creatures (1000 of which reside in a single wooden cage now, in a small closet to minimise exposition of dwarfs with a dislike to them) and it appears that you have caught _all_ local fluffy wamblers. You haven't collected a new one for three years or so. You even managed to snatch a cave spider, which finally allows us to farm a bit of silk without risking the caverns. A good development, since the Giant Cave Spider (masterfully trained by and bonded with you, of course) proved kind of a dud with our lack of hostiles to rile it up. Keep up the good work of showing us how unnecessary cats really are!
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Sutremaine

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Re: Good Job Urist: In Which We Thank Our Dwarves For A Job Well Done
« Reply #38 on: February 24, 2013, 02:07:28 pm »

Yeah, i guess. I would have had to grow nethercaps or something - no trade, invaders off, no sand or iron on the site.
Copper or silver would work fine for the corkscrews, and any metal will do for the pipe sections...
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.
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