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[MrWillsauce]

Appear and morph in to a dead ringer spy with a Ambassador

[4]You are now a dashing chicken rogue with the aforementioned equipment. Headshots now do +[6] damage with the pistol, and dying makes you invisible/invincible. You begin drowning in the sea of floodwater.

Sharpen talons

[6] Those are the sharpest damn talons anyone has ever heard of

ascend to heaven...FOR REVENGE.

[5]You sit on the escalator as it moves you automatically across dimensions into Heaven. When you arrive, you find yourself in the middle of a dusty dirt road in an old-western style ghost town. On the opposite end of the street is Morgan Freeman in a cowboy duster with two .44 magnums in holsters on each hip. He eyes you menacingly with his hands hovering over the guns.

Radio-control some chickens to nuke the area around the station. Try to hit the humans.

[3] You call in the order, but it is both impossible and unnecessary; the world is flooding rapidly with water from the heavens. You climb to the top of your propaganda-spewing radio tower as the water rises. Both chickens and humans drown together on the battlefield.

Go to the government and tell them what i have learned during my time on earth, and the potential threat the people on earth may pose (i.e all the (dangerous) Player characters). Request action to be made.

[5] You tell the Chicken Council about the dangerous humans, and they agree that they must be wiped out. Fortunately, the humans are dying on their own due to a massive world-wide flood.

Activate the Toaster mobiles lava proof jet mode!

[4]You hop in the shotgun seat of the ToasterMobile and yell at Batman to floor it and ram straight into the magma sea. He activates the magma-proof shield around the vehicle as it flies straight into the magma sea. Batman navigates the ocean of magma and you soon arrive at some sort of magma-sunken mountain with a huge door in front of it. Batman uses his sensors and determines the two large vents on the front of the mountain to be the source of the magma flooding.

Feel good about decision and have no regrets.

[2]You give in to the magma and lie there with a smile on your face; you have sacrificed yourself to save your once-nemeses. Unfortunately, fate decides you aren't done living yet. Just as the magma has melted you up to your knees, a human made completely out of metal kicks open the stone door in front of you that the dwarf girl exited from. He is holding hands with the dwarf girl, who points at you and says something. You black out from the burning pain. While unconscious, Iron Man carries you and the little girl while he flies all the way back to the headquarters of StarkyWayne Toaster Scouts of America Incorporated's in-house hospital. You awake wearing a revealing hospital gown with no lower legs. The little dwarf is looking up at you and holding your hand with a worried look on her face. Fortunately, the HQ building is built on a mountain, so it is safe from the extreme flooding for now.

DISPENSE JUSTICE

[5] You look around for criminals to beat up, but find none. On another note, the whole world is covered in an ocean of floodwater. You are drowning.

Killerhellhound: 6/6 HP Chainsmoking chicken in mask w/ ambassador([6] extra damage on headshot) and deadringer (immune to everything except fire).
LordSlowpoke: 6/6 HP, chicken in black spandex drowning
Sayaks: 6/6 HP, speaking chicken in Chickonneran
RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 94/100 WtL 4/? IMA, Normal Seth Green in Dwarf Fortress with Batman and Iron Man... awesome, co-owner of  StarkyWayne Toaster Scouts of America Incorporated w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, rocket boots
borno: 4/6 HP, chicken dictator whose subjects are all dead w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 14/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak being rained on, the ruler of Hell, has inter-dimensional escalator. Dueling God.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady, (ex?)girlfriend of the mayor, founder and sole owner of Breast House and Groin House, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much EVERYTHING else w/ infinite money machine, mind control ray
Corai: 1/7 HP 1/4 WtL 2/0 WP The last elf soldier resting in a hospital bed

[killerhellhound]

Use mask and spy powers to pretend to be a great religious person and be lifted into heaven.

[LordSlowpoke]

LEARN HOW TO SWIM

[sayaks]

Become a super-genius-scientist-chicken!

[Corai]

Look at human, then look around.

"I swear to god if you put wood in me."

[Dirg]

Run up to Morgan and dice him in half with my talons.

[Spinal_Taper]

Hit the magma vents with a toaster torpedo! Head back home!

[MrWillsauce]

Use mask and spy powers to pretend to be a great religious person and be lifted into heaven.

[6]You take out your case of cigarettes and disguise yourself as BLU Jesus. Saint Peter totally falls for it and smiles at you as he opens the Pearly Gates to let you in.

LEARN HOW TO SWIM

[3] You learn how consult a manual on how to swim, but it gets too soggy to read before you're done with it. You can only doggy paddle.

Become a super-genius-scientist-chicken!

[3]You enroll in the Chickonneran National College and begin studying chicken science.

Look at human, then look around.

"I swear to god if you put wood in me."

[3]You look up from the girl to see a team of human doctors in the room with you. They chuckle and explain that in this world, wood is not very useful in medical procedures. They do inform you that they may be able to fit your leg stubs with titanium prostheses.

Run up to Morgan and dice him in half with my talons.

[5]You fly at God feet-first with your talons outstretched. He quickly draws his revolvers and empties all 12 shots into the air around you, narrowly missing. You land on his face and tear it apart, ripping out an eye. He is able to wrestle you off and summon a sword out of this air.[2]He slashes at you with it, but you dodge out of the way and he hits the dirt. He turns around to face you with his sword wielded expertly.

Hit the magma vents with a toaster torpedo

[1]You hit the button to fire the toast cannons, but the bread just burns up in the magma. Unfortunately, the lack of bread insulation in the vehicles means that it is starting to get extremely hot in there. Batman estimates another 5 minutes before your blood will literally boil.

Head back home!

[5]You sweat profusely (both from fright and the heat) as you yell at Batman to get you out of there! He hits the big red button on the control panel and the Toastmobile rockets out of the magma sea, through a vortex of time and space, and arrive back HQ in a hospital room. In the bed is a legless elf speaking with some doctors with an extremely short and fat little girl by his side.

Killerhellhound: 6/6 HP Chainsmoking chicken in mask disguised as BLU Jesus w/ ambassador([6] extra damage on headshot) and deadringer (immune to everything except fire).
LordSlowpoke: 6/6 HP, chicken in black spandex drowning
Sayaks: 6/6 HP, speaking chicken in Chickonneran
RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 94/100 WtL 4/? IMA, Normal Seth Green in hospital with Batman and elf, co-owner of  StarkyWayne Toaster Scouts of America Incorporated w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, rocket boots
borno: 4/6 HP, chicken dictator whose subjects are all dead w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 14/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak being rained on, the ruler of Hell, has inter-dimensional escalator. Dueling God like a boss.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady, (ex?)girlfriend of the mayor, founder and sole owner of Breast House and Groin House, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much EVERYTHING else w/ infinite money machine, mind control ray
Corai: 1/7 HP 1/4 WtL 2/0 WP The last elf soldier resting in a hospital bed

[Corai]

"...What now medical whos?"

...

"OH MOTHER OF GOD. NOT THE HOSPITAL. ANYTHING BUT THE HOSPITAL!"

[Lagslayer]

Erm. I'm not really intent on joining the thread, but I just wanted to point out that I do, in fact, have duck-chickens living in my neighborhood. Further, they seem to be fertile, as they had children. Currently in third generation duck-chickens, and they look almost completely duck-like now. Or maybe those were just ducks.

[MrWillsauce]

Erm. I'm not really intent on joining the thread, but I just wanted to point out that I do, in fact, have duck-chickens living in my neighborhood. Further, they seem to be fertile, as they had children. Currently in third generation duck-chickens, and they look almost completely duck-like now. Or maybe those were just ducks.

This calls for further science.

[sayaks]

Study harder!

[Dirg]

Knock Morgan to the ground and summon cherry pie. If summon pie, choke Morgan with it while yelling "You wanted cherry pie? Well here it is! ENJOY!!!"

[LordSlowpoke]

THE WATER IS A VILLAIN

IT DROWNS PEOPLE IN AN ATTEMPT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

THIS IS A CALL FOR... BATCHICKEN.

[MrWillsauce]

"...What now medical whos?"... "OH MOTHER OF GOD. NOT THE HOSPITAL. ANYTHING BUT THE HOSPITAL!"

[5]You scream this loudly at the doctors, who all try to restrain on the bed and calm you down. One of them fills a syringe with some sort of drug and approaches you. They all look terrified.

Study harder!

[3]You study adequately, but there is much more studying ahead if you want to become a scientist chicken of merit.

Knock Morgan to the ground

[3]You swipe at God, knocking him down. As he falls, he swipes at you with the sword, severing one of your feet (-50% talons -100% ability to walk). Morgan Freeman hops back up on his feet and peers down at you with blood lust in his eyes.

summon cherry pie

[1]You rip off your other legs in some crazed ritual you thought would help you make a pie (-100% talons -100% ability to walk again). God stabs right through your breast with his sword, and the blade comes out the other side. Your body walls on its side, legless and bleeding. You get one last look at God as he turns around and walks away and you die. You arrive at what at first you think is Hell. You are excited; this is your domain after all. But you soon discover you are at the Queue of Reincarnation. There is a huge line of people, most of whom are Indian, in front of a giant desk. Behind the desk is a friendly-looking old man who is instructing a customer to fill out a form. You want to join the line, but realize you have no legs.

Killerhellhound: 6/6 HP Chainsmoking chicken in mask disguised as BLU Jesus w/ ambassador([6] extra damage on headshot) and deadringer (immune to everything except fire).
LordSlowpoke: 6/6 HP, chicken in black spandex drowning
Sayaks: 6/6 HP, speaking chicken in Chickonneran
RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 94/100 WtL 4/? IMA, Normal Seth Green in hospital with Batman and elf, co-owner of  StarkyWayne Toaster Scouts of America Incorporated w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, rocket boots
borno: 4/6 HP, chicken dictator whose subjects are all dead w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 14/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak without legs, the ruler of Hell, has inter-dimensional escalator. Frequent visitor of afterlives.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady, (ex?)girlfriend of the mayor, founder and sole owner of Breast House and Groin House, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much EVERYTHING else w/ infinite money machine, mind control ray
Corai: 1/7 HP 1/4 WtL 2/0 WP The last elf soldier struggling in a hospital bed