Child, get out of here! You may be a dwarf but you cannot carry me! Get to your parents or get help! This magma will flood the entire fort if you don't tell someone!
[5]The child holds your hand for a second, then nods as you look authoratatively into her eyes. She runs away with tears streaming down her face and begins tugging the stone door closed. The magma has completely enveloped your feet, and is quickly advancing onto the rest of your body. +[2] Willsauce points for being a badass. Spend them wisely.
In station:Continue hypnotism!
[5]The chickens at the station and tower continue the broadcast and protect the stations from police. One of your technichickens discovers a way to enhance the broadcasting capability of the tower. Chickens come from hundreds of miles to join the fight, completely brainwashed. The hypnotic broadcast takes control of the chickens currently in your command, and they completely forget about the payment you owe them.
On battlefield:Continue fighting!
[3]You are able to defend your current territory from the police, but you are unable to push your borders due to the police having fire arms and body armor. Although you are able to keep up with sheer numbers, you are losing roughly 10 chickens for every man they lose. In addition, the American government has mobilized their military to the battlefront.
Take Batman out of DF. Tell him to send us Superman and whatever R&D has made
[5]Batman yells at you to pick him up off the damn mountain before he burns to death. You fly down in your rocket boots and pull out his BatSmartPhone and activate the InterdimensionalPortal App, then throw him into the phone. He flies out of Dwarf Fort and into the real world. The two of you communicate through the BatSmartPhone/InterdimensionalPortal and you tell him to bring back Superman and the R&D gadgets. Before he can tell you Superman doesn't exist, the phone runs out of
batteries.
Status report from Iron Man
[6]The hole that Iron Man made when he crashed into the mountain has caved in and is filling with lava. You try to contact him through radio, but realize you weren't given a radio; only him and Batman had them to talk to each other. You feel left out -[4]WtL. You are stumped as to how to contact him, when suddenly Batman returns from the real world, riding in the ToasterMobile with [4] new gadgets in tow. They are: a mind control device, a sentient bathrobe, an adamantine synthesizer (just add water!), and a telepathic communication device that only worked with Tony Stark! How convenient! You ask Iron Man how it's going down there and he informs you that only the entrance hall and some other large room have been flooded, but the stone doors are beginning to melt. He says that using Batman's sonar scans of the place, the whole fort should be flooded with 5 days. "What about those life signs?" You ask. He is in the middle of informing you that he hasn't found any life other than fleeing rats and giant mushroom farms when he suddenly stops. You hear him over the line say "whoa hold on there little girl! I'm friendly don't run. Wow: you're really short; do you have dwarfism or something? What's the matter, scared of the hot stuff? Where is your family? A wha- an elf? I don't think- alright I'll follow you. Listen guys, we'll talk/think later, I've gotta investigate this.
Sayaks: 6/6 HP, speaking chicken
RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 94/100 WtL 4/? IMA, Normal Seth Green in Dwarf Fortress with Batman and Iron Man... awesome, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, rocket boots,
borno: 4/6 HP, up and coming chicken dictator w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor, captured by chickens
IronyOwl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 19/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak trapped in heaven, yet the ruler of Hell. Married to an angel and secretary, proud former father of four
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady, (ex?)girlfriend of the mayor, founder and sole owner of Breast House and Groin House, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much EVERYTHING else w/ infinite money machine, mind control ray
Corai: 1/7 HP 1/4 WtL 2/0 WP The last elf soldier burning in a wave of magma
Author
Topic: Roll to be a chicken (Read 11299 times)