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[MrWillsauce]

Find a small stream to cheer me up.

[5]You find a beautiful little stream outside the chicken coop. The cool mist hits your face and you smile. +[6]WtL.

Corai.A salutes the man,

[6] That is the best fucking salute any one has ever seen. The headless man's body stands up and hands you his tin of chewing tobacco before falling back over.

then take his truck

[5] Luckily, the keys were still in his white F150. The truck has a "Romney 2012" bumper sticker.

and ram into the farm, telling everychicken to get in and take guns.

[3] The truck rams into the chicken coop successfully, but the vehicle looks in bad shape afterwards. You yell at all the chickens to take up arms and they approach the truck with outstretched arms waiting for their weapons. There are 4 militiachickens: A fluffy yellow chick, A scruffy hen with clipped wings, a Vietnam vet chicken with no beak wearing a beret, and Corai.b who is looking disapprovingly at you and is about to face palm.

facepalms.

[1]You miss your face entirely, and hit the fluffy yellow chick for [4] damage, taking its head off and killing it instantly.

Dirg: 6/6HP, freak of nature still shaking his ass
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, chicken
Corai.a: 6/6 HP, free rooster w/ shotgun(10 shells), rocket launcher (2 rockets), and .44 magnum (either 0 or 1 rounds; you feelin' lucky?), broken truck, militia at command
Corai.b: 3/6 HP, mute rooster

[Dirg]

Use duck wings to fly out of farm, head to bird fights.

[IronyOwl]

Begin training. I'll need all my strength to escape this hell.

[Corai]

Corai.A hands out guns.
Corai.B shoots at horse from earlier.

[borno]

Begin writing up my plans to escape from the slave market they call the government, to break free from any rule, any law, any judgement passed upon me to become the one in charge, gathering chickens up from across the world and destroying the pathetic race called humans! Once this is done, I shall become the ruler of this new world, when only beings that I allow to live, live! No-one will cross me, because I shall strike them down on the spot!

MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

[MrWillsauce]

Use duck wings to fly out of farm, head to bird fights.

[2]You struggle to flap your wings and fly off the farm, but it takes forever. You'll never reach "bird fights" (whatever the fuck that means) at this rate.

hands out guns.

[1] You drop the rocket launcher as you try to hand it to the beakless chicken. It fires off a rocket as it hits the floor. The rocket flies off into the sky and explodes. The shrapnel hits Dirg as he struggles to fly -[2]HP.

shoots at horse from earlier.

[2] Corai.b grabs the shotgun and fires are the horse. The horse shines his ugly buck teeth at you, and [3] of the pellets are deflected off of them back at you. You are hit by one in the head for [6] damage. Another one of the pellets hits Billchicken -[3]HP. The third pellet hits Corai.a in the heart -[6]HP.

Begin training. I'll need all my strength to escape this hell.

[1] You struggle to bench press a 1/2 pound dumbbell and drop it on your neck. You nearly suffocate -[4]HP before you wiggle out from underneath it.

Begin writing up my plans to escape from the slave market they call the government, to break free from any rule, any law, any judgement passed upon me to become the one in charge, gathering chickens up from across the world and destroying the pathetic race called humans! Once this is done, I shall become the ruler of this new world, when only beings that I allow to live, live! No-one will cross me, because I shall strike them down on the spot!

MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

[4]You write a beautiful plan, although you doubt you will be able to read it again (your handwriting is CHICKENSCRATCH)

borno: 6/6 HP, Wannabe chicken dictator (lol puns)
IronyOwnl: 2/6 HP, weak chicken is weak
 Dirg: 4/6HP, freak of nature struggling to fly, shrapnel in freak wings
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, chicken
Corai.a: 0/6 HP, [dead]free rooster
Corai.b: -3/6 HP, [dead]mute rooster

[Corai]

Be reborn as rabbit with two heads.

[Scelly9]

Find an axe

[IronyOwl]

Damn! Rest and recuperate!

[MrWillsauce]

Be reborn as rabbit with two heads.

[1]Nope.

Find an axe

[4]You find a pretty good woodcutting axe. If you had to rate it you'd give it a 4 out of 6.

Damn!

[6] You successfully damn yourself to eternal torment. Have fun.

Rest and recuperate!

I think you'll find that difficult in Hell.

borno: 6/6 HP, Wannabe chicken dictator (lol puns)
IronyOwnl: 2/6 HP, weak chicken is in Hell
 Dirg: 4/6HP, freak of nature struggling to fly, shrapnel in freak wings
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, chicken w/ an axe (HEEEEEERE'S CHICKYYYYY)
Corai: Does not exist so why am I mentioning it?

[Scelly9]

Find a human to kill.

[Corai]

Do the impossible in a roll to dodge and loose.

[MrWillsauce]

Find a human to kill.

[2] You search for hours, but they closest you got was a dog walking bipedal.

Do the impossible in a roll to dodge and loose.

[2] You fail at "loosing". I assume you mean loosing your bowels. You are now constipated despite being nonexistent.

borno: 6/6 HP, Wannabe chicken dictator (lol puns)
IronyOwnl: 2/6 HP, weak chicken is in Hell
 Dirg: 4/6HP, freak of nature struggling to fly, shrapnel in freak wings
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, chicken w/ an axe (HEEEEEERE'S CHICKYYYYY)
Corai: Does not exist, yet is suffering from constipation.

[Corai]

Slap MrWillsauce.

[Scelly9]

Keep trying.