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[Corai]

GO HOME TO FOREST RETREAT. USE ELVEN MAGIC TO MAKE WOODEN SWORDS ON PAR WITH BLUEMETAL.

[Dirg]

(Huh... Thought they where adults now, oh well.) Thank kids for hell. Send down presents for all my children.

[borno]

Utilise recent successes to move onto step two, becoming number 1 in media!

[MrWillsauce]

Seduce the UN reps.

[4] You are able to distract the traumatized representatives using your beauty. A massive international orgy occurs.

Thank kids for hell. Send down presents for all my children.

[1]You send a letter to God instructing him to send the children thank-you cards and toys as presents. The letter actually went to Indian customer service. The Indians there understood the letter and, not wanted to waste God's time, decided to follow the instructions for him. Unfortunately, they were confused with the word "toys". In Indian "toys" means "death", so the call center workers traveled to Hell and murdered all of your offspring. -[2] WtL.

GO HOME TO FOREST RETREAT

[5] You find your way home quickly, chewing berries and copulating with trees along the way

USE ELVEN MAGIC TO MAKE WOODEN SWORDS ON PAR WITH BLUEMETAL

[5] You shudder and grit your teeth as you carve a masterwork wooden sword -[1]WtL. When that's done you pray for the soul of the tree and vow that its body will be the bane of those midget tree-killers. You perform a spell which greatly enhanced the sword's sharpness, durability, and hardness to the level of steel, but not nearly to the level of adamantine. "Corai has created "DwarfBane the Bane of Dwarves, a masterwork wooden shortsword"

Utilise recent successes to move onto step two, becoming number 1 in media!

[2] Unfortunately the entire media is busy being devoted to following the exploits of the sexual deviant Scelly. This includes every televesion network, every website, every newspaper, etc.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, giant toaster, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 19/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak in heaven, yet the ruler of Hell. Proud former father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House, girlfriend of the mayor, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much everything else
Corai: 7/7 HP 1/4 WtL An very lonely Elf, the victim of dwarf cruelty w/ DwarfBane

[Scelly9]

Use seductive power to become ruler of the world.

[Corai]

Raise a army! Declare holy war!

[MrWillsauce]

Use seductive power to become ruler of the world.

[2] You proceed to have sex with ever single thing in the world. You have lots of fun, and earn many badges of honor (AKA STDs), but you are unable to achieve world domination. On another note, your girlfriend is extremely upset with you for cheating on her over 92311423141431422 times.

Raise a army! Declare holy war!

You gather up all of the Elves in the land and give a glorious speech about those deceitful, blasphemous, murderous dwarves in the fortress known as "Every Dwarf Fortress MrWillsauce Has Ever Built" (Also known as EDFMEB or FEM BED in common conversation). The speech is so convincing that not only do all [4],000 elves join you, [1]00 humans also agree to join the force.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, giant toaster, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 19/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak in heaven, yet the ruler of Hell. Proud former father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House, girlfriend of the mayor, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much EVERYTHING else
Corai: 7/7 HP 1/4 WtL An elf in command of an army w/ DwarfBane, army of 4,000 elves and 100 humans

[Scelly9]

Use seductive power to make it up to her, have her mandate mind control ray.

[Corai]

Get unicorns from the holyland for mounts!

[Dirg]

Go on roaring rampage of revenge at India tech support.

[Spinal_Taper]

Take some funds from Toaster inc and pay Stark industries and WAyne corp to rebuild me.

[MrWillsauce]

Use seductive power to make it up to her

[2] She refuses you stating that you are infested with disgusting diseases. She says she won't speak to you until you become clean and make it up to her in a different way

have her mandate mind control ray.

Not speaking to you

Take some funds from Toaster inc

[3] You take all of Toaster Inc's funding (which is [4] Billion dollars), causing them to lay off all of their toaster-making employees and outsource to China. Many of the laid off workers are unable to feed their families and starve.

pay Stark industries and WAyne corp to rebuild me.

[6] You give them both all of your money and you are reborn as a school bus  with Iron Man's rocket boots.

Get unicorns from the holyland for mounts!

[5] On your way to FEM BED you pass through joyous wilds. You coerce [1] unicorn to join you. He is a war-weathered veteran with chipped hooves, a missing eye, and a horn covered in dwarf blood. You take him as your personal mount.

Go on roaring rampage of revenge at India tech support.

[1] You still never talked to God, and as such are not allowed to leave Heaven imprisoning gates.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, school bus, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, rocket boots
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 19/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak trapped in heaven, yet the ruler of Hell. Proud former father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House, (ex?)girlfriend of the mayor, screwer of presidents, dirt, and pretty much EVERYTHING else
Corai: 7/7 HP 1/4 WtL An elf in command of an army w/ DwarfBane, unicorn, army of 4,000 elves and 100 humans

[Corai]

BEGIN HOLY WAR. ITS 4,102 VS 200(MAX) VICTORY WILL BE OURS!

[borno]

Ugh, seems like we must skip step two out. Instead, hijack a radio station and broadcast a message that will hypnotise all chickens across the world, as a slightly changed version of step-three.

[Dirg]

Rats! Command army of hell to destroy india tech support for me as revenge for my childrens death.