Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Corai]

BECOME RICH FROM NEVERENDING PAIN. CONVERT PAIN TO HELLMONEY.

[Scelly9]

Go to mayors office, seduce.

[MrWillsauce]

Drink some of the delicious boiling blood in other pools to heal myself.

[1] You drink some delicious blood, but you notice too late that it's actually just cranberry juice! -[4] WtL.

Go to mayors office, seduce.

[5] You walk into the mayors office naked (I don't know why you haven't put any clothes on yet) while she is busy mandating the construction of 10 adamantine coffee mugs. She stops mid sentence as you start doing seductive stuff and things turn out well for you +[6] hotness. The mayor will now mandate whatever you want.

BECOME RICH FROM NEVERENDING PAIN. CONVERT PAIN TO HELLMONEY.

[4] You roll on your side (no legs) into a boiling pool. You then roll to the pain bank and exchange the pain from the bath for some paper currency. Unfortunately, Hell is too hot for that and all of your money is burnt away.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, giant toaster, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, Swiss Army knife hand, and toaster hand
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 2/6WtL, & in the shape of a chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak proud father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House, girlfriend of the mayor
Corai: -12/6 HP -9/6 WtL overpowered assassin clone immune to bullets burning forever in Hell with no limbs, proud winner of an iPod nanopad!

[Dirg]

Children shall put on shades cause' future is gonna be bright. Have children start entering relationships with demons.

[IronyOwl]

Regain my self-confidence and will to live with a dark, malicious-sounding cackle!

[Corai]

WAIT FOR MORE PAINMONEY. TRADE IT IN FOR METAL HELLMONEY.

[Scelly9]

Fly to White House, seduce president

[MrWillsauce]

Children shall put on shades cause' future is gonna be bright.

[6] The kids all put on aviators so cool that even Satan is jealous. He offers them control of Hell for a pair. They accept and give you Hell as a Father's Day present.

Have children start entering relationships with demons.

No, they're kids -.-

WAIT FOR MORE PAINMONEY. TRADE IT IN FOR METAL HELLMONEY.

[4] The banker tries to hand you the money, but you have no arms. While you contemplate how to carry the money, the same & that ate your arms returns and grabs you. He grabs you in his beak and throws you on a craftsdorf workshop. He pecks you to death somehow despite you being in Hell and turns your bones into the most beautiful toy boat you have ever seen.

Regain my self-confidence and will to live with a dark, malicious-sounding cackle!

[4]IronyOwl looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible! You grab Corai, who is waiting outside the pain bank, and turn him into The Bowels of Tenderness, a human bone toy boat +[3] WtL +[2],000,000,000 Craftsdorf experience. You are now a legendary Craftsdorf (despite not being a dorf)

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, giant toaster, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak in heaven, yet the ruler of Hell. Proud father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House, girlfriend of the mayor
Corai: Completely nonexistent, proud winner of an iPod nanopad!

[Corai]

FISTPUMP WITH NONEXISTANT ARMS. RESPAWN AS ELF.

[Scelly9]

Fly to White House, seduce president

[MrWillsauce]

Fly to White House

[6] You jump out of your girlfriend's window and flap your arms. Miraculously, this works and you fly all the way to the White House.

seduce president

[6] You seduce the president, in fact you seduce ALL the presidents. All of the presidents who have ever lived emerge from their graves and crawl their way to you. Sexytime occurs. It is really disgusting.

FISTPUMP WITH NONEXISTANT ARMS

[2] You probably don't need me to explain why this doesn't work

RESPAWN AS ELF.

[4]You spawn on the edge of a Dwarf Fortress map along with 3 other elves directing pack animals. You are in an Elf caravan approaching a trade depot, which is filled with useless stone crafts and a dwarf broker.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, giant toaster, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak in heaven, yet the ruler of Hell. Proud father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House, girlfriend of the mayor, screwer of presidents
Corai: An Elf at a Dwarf Fortress

[Scelly9]

Fly to UN, seduce ALL the countries.

[Corai]

"WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! TURN AROUND! QUICKLY! They are just gonna pour magma on us! Thats where all our caravans go!"

[MrWillsauce]

Fly to UN, seduce ALL the countries.

[3] You successfully the hump the ground of every country on the planet. It's pretty dirty. The UN representatives watch in horror as their beloved nations are defiled.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! TURN AROUND! QUICKLY! They are just gonna pour magma on us! Thats where all our caravans go!"

[3] You successfully yell this, but none of the Elves listen to you. The dwarf hears you say this and has a worried look on his face, but when he sees the caravan still coming he has a vaguely evil smile on his face. He winks at you as the caravan arrives and he starts trading. The dwarf says "Let me go get the rest of the gems to trade" while one of the elves comments on how refreshing it is to finally see a fortress that doesn't destroy their forests. Suddenly, the drawbridge to the fort is raise and two floodgates open up on the face of the mountain. Lava pours out burning everything. The elves jump in front of their precious trees to try to protect them, but all is burned on the surface. You look down and shake your head and walk slowly back into the forest away from the flames -[2] WtL.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, giant toaster, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 5/6WtL, Master Craftsdorf & chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak in heaven, yet the ruler of Hell. Proud father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL 12/6 H, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House, girlfriend of the mayor, screwer of presidents and dirt
Corai: 7/7 HP 2/4 WtL An very lonely Elf, the victim of dwarf cruelty

[Scelly9]

Seduce the UN reps.