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Author Topic: Roll to be a chicken  (Read 11310 times)

MrWillsauce

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #105 on: August 06, 2012, 10:01:36 pm »

Quote
Finish process when done.
[3] You emerge a perfectly average naked woman.

Quote
I'd like to return to earth.
[1] "I'm sorry I will have to transfer you to the reincarnation division, please hold."
You are on hold for 2 hours listening to elevator music when you hear in the exact some voice "Hello this is Gupta how may I help?"

Quote
Buy up the US Army
[3] You get the Boyscouts of America instead.
Quote
Buy up Wayne Corp.
[3] You get Toasters Incorporated by mistake.
Quote
Get the two of them to develop me armor, weapons, vehicles and rebuild my hot robot bod.
[4] You get a slightly above-average suit of combat armor made of toasted bread and tied knots +[3]Max HP. [5]The Boyscouts modify their badge sashes (do Boyscouts even where sashes?  Oh well, they do now) to hold a giant spiked ball, creating a flail which deals [5] damage. [2] The toaster company gives you an electric toaster and call it a weapon. [1] The Boyscouts build a car out of twigs, but it falls apart. [5] Toasters Inc. build the toastmobile. It is an armored Van armed on all sides with high-powered toasters that shoot flaming bread at lethal velocities. [1] The two organizations team up to perform the body-enhancement operation. When you wake up from surgery, your flesh has been replaced with roasted marshmellows and bread. Your fingers on your right hand are Swiss Army knives, and the ones on your right are the red hot electric wires from a toaster. Your head is still in its original beautiful Seth Green form, but you are unable to walk or move due to the fact that you are made of bread.

Quote
Oh. Well. This complicates things.
...being out of Hell complicates things? That's a bad sign.
[2] You're wrong, it's actually a good sign. A sign with word "good" written on it falls from the sky and hits you on the head dealing [6] damage. You die and return to Hell. The Devil is not happy to see you. He throws you head-first into the pot of boiling blood from before. It hurts.

Quote
Hatch from a egg.
[4] You hatch from the egg and dry your fur. You are an adorable fluffy yellow chick :D

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 98/100 WtL, is cyborg Seth Green made of bread and marshmellows, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ infinite money machine, infinite monies, the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, Swiss Army knife hand, and toaster hand
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 2/6WtL, weak chicken with no legs back in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak of nature in heaven on the phone with customer service
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, a naked lady
Corai: -12/6 HP -9/6 WtL overpowered assassin clone immune to bullets burning forever in Hell, proud winner of an iPod nanopad!
Logged

Corai

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #106 on: August 06, 2012, 10:03:07 pm »

BEGIN DOING MASOCHISTIC ACTS FOR ENTERTAINMENT OF DEMONS. ATTEMPT TO EARN TIPS.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Scelly9

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #107 on: August 06, 2012, 10:06:13 pm »

Find man, seduce him.
Logged
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

MrWillsauce

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #108 on: August 06, 2012, 10:08:53 pm »

Quote
BEGIN DOING MASOCHISTIC ACTS FOR ENTERTAINMENT OF DEMONS
[5] You choke yourself with the fiber wire. It entertains the demons, and soon a large crowd of them forms around you.
Quote
ATTEMPT TO EARN TIPS.
[1] They give you plenty of tips. Unfortunately, the currency in Hell is pain.

Quote
Find man, seduce him.
[6] You find cyborg half-bread-half-man Seth Green. You do stuff with him. How this is possible without him having a functioning penis is none of my business. While he is asleep, you steal his infinite money machine.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 98/100 WtL, is cyborg Seth Green made of bread and marshmellows, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, Swiss Army knife hand, and toaster hand
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 2/6WtL, weak chicken with no legs back in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak of nature in heaven on the phone with customer service
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine
Corai: -12/6 HP -9/6 WtL overpowered assassin clone immune to bullets burning forever in Hell, proud winner of an iPod nanopad!
Logged

Dirg

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #109 on: August 06, 2012, 10:09:40 pm »

Facepalm and hang up phone. Retire to sweet life in heaven with both girls and eventually send down a somewhat holy offspring back to earth.
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Corai

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #110 on: August 06, 2012, 10:10:09 pm »

BECOME MASOCHISTIC. TURN TIPS INTO PLEASURE.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #111 on: August 06, 2012, 10:10:43 pm »

On the bright side, now I can try my earlier plan that was too late.

Attempt to absorb boiling blood to become a demonic chicken.
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Scelly9

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #112 on: August 06, 2012, 10:11:11 pm »

Buy out strip club with infinite money machine. Hire more people.
Logged
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

MrWillsauce

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #113 on: August 06, 2012, 10:27:28 pm »

Quote
Facepalm and hang up phone
[3] You do so.
Quote
Retire to sweet life in heaven with both girls and eventually send down a somewhat holy offspring back to earth.
[6] Somehow polygamy is perfectly legal in Heaven and you marry both the secretary and the angel. Soon, you have an army of [2]0 twisted part-duck-part-chicken-part-people/angel children. They are so disgusting, loud, and annoying that God kicks them all out of Heaven and they fall to Earth and land on top of the ruins of the farmhouse that once was Scelly.

Quote
BECOME MASOCHISTIC. TURN TIPS INTO PLEASURE.
[2] No. Gross.

Quote
On the bright side
THERE IS NO BRIGHT SIDE IN HELL
Quote
Attempt to absorb boiling blood to become a demonic chicken.
[5] You drink the blood in the pool (a lot of which is your own) and become a chicken made of solid chicken blood. It thirsts for blood. Beware its poisonous pecks.

Quote
Buy out strip club with infinite money machine. Hire more people.
[5] You buy 'Breast House'. [6] You hire several super models as your staff.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 9/9 HP 98/100 WtL, is cyborg Seth Green made of bread and marshmellows, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, Swiss Army knife hand, and toaster hand
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 2/6WtL, & in the shape of a chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak proud father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine
Corai: -12/6 HP -9/6 WtL overpowered assassin clone immune to bullets burning forever in Hell, proud winner of an iPod nanopad!
Logged

Corai

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #114 on: August 06, 2012, 10:28:42 pm »

WAIT, PAIN IS CURRENCY? JUMP OFF CLIFF SEVERAL TIMES. SPEND PAIN ON TORTURE MACHINE. TORTURE SELF FOR MORE MONEY. REPEAT UNTIL RICH.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Scelly9

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #115 on: August 06, 2012, 10:30:52 pm »

Attract customers.
Logged
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

Spinal_Taper

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #116 on: August 06, 2012, 10:32:12 pm »

Purchase Stark enterprises, purchase Wayne Co.. Rebuild body.
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Dirg

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #117 on: August 06, 2012, 10:37:25 pm »

Go forth my children, and spread your fathers influence
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MrWillsauce

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #118 on: August 06, 2012, 10:39:31 pm »

Quote
JUMP OFF CLIFF SEVERAL TIMES
[3] You jump off a cliff once, but afterwards are too broken to move. While you are writhing in pain, a giant chicken made of blood walks up to your and bites off your arms and legs.
Quote
SPEND PAIN ON TORTURE MACHINE
[1] The torture machines are free, but you cannot crawl all the way over to them. The only thing you can spend pain on in Hell is more pain anyway.

Quote
Attract customers.
[4] You put up a billboard with a picture of Seth Green on it and the words 'Breast House'. You gain so many new customers that the whole building is full of people and it is impossible to move inside.

Quote
Purchase Stark enterprises, purchase Wayne Co
Your monies and money machine were taken by a naked lady after you were seduced.
Quote
Rebuild body
[5] You order the toaster company to rebuild you. When you awake, you are toaster [6]00 times the size of a normal one. +[6]00 max HP.You cannot move -[1] WtL.

Quote
Go forth my children, and spread your fathers influence
[4] Your children run through the open portal to Hell which is on the lawn. Once inside they tell all the Demons and tortured souls that they should become mashes of poultry and feathers like their father. One of the Demons agrees and starts beating all of the tortured souls in Hell until they look like Dirg.

RTD: 3/3 HP, a chick
Spinal_Taper: 609/609 HP 98/100 WtL, giant toaster, CEO of Toasters Inc. and the Boyscouts of America w/ the Toastmobile, rope+bread body armor, sash flail (5 damage), a toaster, pile of twigs, Swiss Army knife hand, and toaster hand
borno: 6/6 HP, Professional Winner w/ 6 Olympic gold medals, 3 Nobel Prizes, 6 Medals of Honor
IronyOwnl: -4/6 HP 2/6WtL, & in the shape of a chicken made of chicken blood in Hell
Dirg: -93/10HP 21/6 WtL, a completely crushed and destroyed one-eyed freak proud father of twenty.
Scelly9: 6/6 HP 6/6 WtL, a naked lady w/ infinite money machine, owner of Breast House
Corai: -12/6 HP -9/6 WtL overpowered assassin clone immune to bullets burning forever in Hell with no limbs, proud winner of an iPod nanopad!
Logged

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to be a chicken
« Reply #119 on: August 06, 2012, 10:40:52 pm »

Drink some of the delicious boiling blood in other pools to heal myself.
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.
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