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[Hurize]

Beware, It removes faces.


SHARE YOUR EPIC FAILS ARIFACTS

[brainfreez]

use it as a door .

a chert figuring of a dwarf , the dwarf is surrounded by flies , the dwarf looks terrified .

[Oaktree]

I just got an artifact door.  A green glass portal that also used platinum and other valuable materials.  100K value and it was immediately placed at a very busy intersection where the main up/down stairs meets the path to the Trade Depot and access tunnels.  I want as many dwarves as possible to see it - *often*.   

Have to figure out where to put the 1.2M db adamantine statue of some human taming rattlesnakemen now.    At least I got a legendary blacksmith out of the deal.

Since yours is wooden you can mount it somewhere near the caverns to annoy all the building destroyers who will be unable to scratch it.

[Spinning Welshman]

I don't have much to contribute, except the obligatory featherwood ring I get at some point every fort. 

No, what's interesting me is the part of that description where it says "rough wood" I've never seen that before.

[acetech09]

Mod. Dunno which one.

[orius]

He's using Masterwork.

[itg]

You're not suggesting an artifact door is a fail, are you? Doors are among the most useful of artifacts because they're immune to building destroyers, which means they'll keep out trolls, forgotten beasts, clowns, etc. They also act as bait for those same creatures.

Here's my artifact fail (artifail?):

"Esreltokthat Bungek Dezrem; Queenscorn the Lizard of Slowing; an adamantine mace

This is an adamantine mace. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of elk leather. On the item is an image of Anguishchains the adamantine scepter in adamantine."

What's worse, it was created by a possessed dwarf, so I didn't get a legendary weaponsmith out of the deal.

[brainfreez]

i just got - blutameyrinth a adamantine blowgun ,
on the item is a image of elf and a dwarf , the elf is striking down the dwarf . another image of human striking down a dwarf and yak cow striking down a dwarf .

this is ... priceless , too bad i lost it when i asigned it to a swordsdwarf and he went fighting a clown .

[Mimodo]

I want to know what the value of that was... 200? :p

[krenshala]

You're not suggesting an artifact door is a fail, are you? Doors are among the most useful of artifacts because they're immune to building destroyers, which means they'll keep out trolls, forgotten beasts, clowns, etc. They also act as bait for those same creatures.

Here's my artifact fail (artifail?):

"Esreltokthat Bungek Dezrem; Queenscorn the Lizard of Slowing; an adamantine mace

This is an adamantine mace. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of elk leather. On the item is an image of Anguishchains the adamantine scepter in adamantine."

What's worse, it was created by a possessed dwarf, so I didn't get a legendary weaponsmith out of the deal.

Your adamantine mace had a picture of another adamantine mace on it?  Sounds like double fail there, especially since neither crafter gained weapon skills for making them.

[Seraphim342]

I've gotten an artifact bone hatch cover, an artifact dwarf bone floor grate (cost me my best armorsmith, that), an artifact bone crossbow, an artifact gabbro armor stand, a couple artifact arts and crafts, an artifact iron spear, and exactly NOTHING useful this fort. 

[Replica]

I have an artifact rough wooden table, called "The Destruction of Crevices" on the table is an image of a minotaur killing an elf.
Total value is 3600 bits.

[Valikdu]

A chestnut chest that menaces with spikes of chestnut. It's worth less than most undecorated masterful precious metal chests (2400).

[Nyxalinth]

My new fort got an artifact toy warhammer made of wood, it does have a picture of some dude being made general of my home civ, so there's that.  But then I got a very nice artifact coffin made out of magnesite with a scene of goblins and dwarves fighting.  Possession, unfortunately.

[Oaktree]

My last two forts are actually generating a mix of semi-useful artifacts as compared to 'artifails'.  My silver mailshirt was given to the Duchess to wear.  I got the nice glass portal (door) mentioned earlier, an adamantine statue, plus a recently created bauxite armor stand.  That will be the centerpiece of a barracks that is under construction.  Otherwise, I've been getting clothing (including a toga), jewelry (earring, adamantine ring), and the one fort had three separate artifact tables, including one made from lignite and faint yellow diamonds.