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Author Topic: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up  (Read 53366 times)

misko27

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #15 on: August 02, 2012, 10:23:02 pm »

This is proof that RNG is sentient. No way could any real life person come up with such a story.

I see her suffering as having to give up her child in exchange for this strange mood. Many are possesed by strange forces, so this may not be her design, but that of the gods. Specifically, the sick and depraved gods.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2012, 10:27:04 pm by misko27 »
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Calathar

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #16 on: August 02, 2012, 10:29:31 pm »

So what's the contact area, penetration, and velocity of baby flesh?
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acetech09

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #17 on: August 02, 2012, 11:34:46 pm »

It's probably made from baby bone, with a handle of baby leather. Probably uses the leg bones wound together for the handle, the pelvis for the handle/pick joint, and the pick is the spine.

But that's all in theory, of course. Not like I've made a pick out of my own 5 month old baby before.
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NedeN

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #18 on: August 03, 2012, 02:03:37 am »

Dont mean to kill anyones good mood, I particularly loved this story. Ive been trying to get a friend to play DF for some time now but he says one day.. maybe. So I send him this thread, in hopes it will change his mind, wish me luck.

Anywho, I feel that I am speaking for everyone that we need to see the description of this pick. Do not keep us in suspense much longer OP! This pick could go down in history I tell you!
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Spinning Welshman

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #19 on: August 03, 2012, 02:08:17 am »

.... :o I don't even know what to say. I've heard of the gold rush making people do crazy things but this goes beyond that.  :P Makes me wonder what it'll be like when Toady implements the magic system he was talking about for artifacts. What kind of powers would a baby-bone pickaxe possess?  :o

It's probably made from baby bone, with a handle of baby leather. Probably uses the leg bones wound together for the handle, the pelvis for the handle/pick joint, and the pick is the spine.

But that's all in theory, of course. Not like I've made a pick out of my own 5 month old baby before.

This is a really tempting opportunity for an incredibly out-of-context sig.  :P
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I also just had a human diplomat enter from the surface, hold a meeting, then exit the map via hell.... I guess he thinks he's pretty hardass.

Loud Whispers

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #20 on: August 03, 2012, 02:10:21 am »

Mmmm.... Dwarf bone pick, you truly are lucky. I don't see how turning your daughter into a digging implement is any better or worse than turning your highly skilled neighbour into a mug :]

This is proof that RNG is sentient. No way could any real life person come up with such a story.

:P

Karnewarrior

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #21 on: August 03, 2012, 02:33:24 am »

Dont mean to kill anyones good mood, I particularly loved this story. Ive been trying to get a friend to play DF for some time now but he says one day.. maybe. So I send him this thread, in hopes it will change his mind, wish me luck.

Anywho, I feel that I am speaking for everyone that we need to see the description of this pick. Do not keep us in suspense much longer OP! This pick could go down in history I tell you!
IIRC, it's almost astonishingly simple to describe.

"This is a Dwarven Baby Bone Pickaxe. All Craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is made of Dwarven Baby Bone."

I mean, really, if you're going to murder a baby you could at least make something interesting out of it.


Mmmm.... Dwarf bone pick, you truly are lucky. I don't see how turning your daughter into a digging implement is any better or worse than turning your highly skilled neighbour into a mug :]
A pickaxe is probably one of the least needed tools in my fort right now. I already have 3 miners, which get through my not-so-megaprojects easily enough. Maybe when I expand I'll need more. I doubt she was thinking ahead when she MURDERED HER ONLY DAUGHTER.

Maybe I'll make a weapons trap, put the pick inside, and then lock her in a room with it until she dies? Or I could make a real danger room out of it, for goblins rather than dwarves. Imagine, the goblin is dropped into a gore-spattered room, naked, and subjected to constant smashing of the face by a macabre pickaxe, until in his final seconds of life he realizes that this pick was made of the dwarves own children.

Or, a nice fixture for my dining room. I know if I was a baby my aspiration would be to make people happy even after becoming a instrument of horror, monstrosity, fell terror and mining dolomite. Like some sort of Dwarven Van Gogh.

Made out of entirely too much baby bone.
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vicwarrior

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #22 on: August 03, 2012, 03:09:25 am »

WOW you got lucky that the baby became something usefull and not another useless dwarf that will drink your booze things could have gotten worse, like your legendary armorsmith/weaponsmith/both getting turned into a finished good.
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Karnewarrior

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #23 on: August 03, 2012, 04:14:46 am »

WOW you got lucky that the baby became something usefull and not another useless dwarf that will drink your booze things could have gotten worse, like your legendary armorsmith/weaponsmith/both getting turned into a finished good.
No, but one of my 10+ fishery workers may have been less disturbing, and probably better for the fort. The Baby could have been a armorsmith/weaponsmith/carpenter/champion/not-evil-noble/miner/whatever. The little blue fuckers swarming my fort have no purpose and no skill except enough to give them all three fishing jobs.

Half my fort had all thee fishing jobs enabled. This is turning out to be a weird game, even by DF standards.
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

orius

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #24 on: August 03, 2012, 04:24:30 am »

I dunno, I mean a pick is always useful for mining, where kids are never useful for anything.  So I don't see what the problem is.
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weenog

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #25 on: August 03, 2012, 04:34:30 am »

That is the best bad thing ever.  Forget digging, forget shrines, forget traps or seals.  That thing is a weapon.  Never before has there been an implement wrought of such blazing hatred and desperate anger.  The Suffering of Genius doesn't want to work, it wants to kill.

Find your angriest dwarf by nature.  Someone who "is in a constant state of internal rage" is appropriate, nothing else will do.  You put that dwarf in his or her own squad, train it up big and strong, and give it that pick to wield.  When invaders come, loose this monster on them.  Now they will know why they fear the fortress.
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Noobazzah

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #26 on: August 03, 2012, 04:54:06 am »

I personally have grown to HATE picks on my longest running fort. All the nobles are demanding more and more pickaxes, and don't even let me sell them. Luckily you can use them in weapon traps.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #27 on: August 03, 2012, 07:06:11 am »

I doubt she was thinking ahead when she MURDERED HER ONLY DAUGHTER.
What? She'll have more.

MadocComadrin

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #28 on: August 03, 2012, 07:38:21 am »

Luckily you can use them as weapons
Fixed that for you. Seriously, they use mining as their martial skill, so go get 30 or so dwarves, mine out a z level or 2 set them into squads (disable the mining labor) and have them go tear apart sieges/HFS.
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Noobazzah

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Re: All was well until Casey McAnthony showed up
« Reply #29 on: August 03, 2012, 07:43:28 am »

Yeah, but they always get mixed up in the equipping, never using the pick they mine with. I mainly use them as a emergency force, in case of my military gets mopped.
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