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[JasonMel]

Loaded up my expedition members with useful skills like Leader and Fish Dissector.

Tried my damnedest to figure out how to equip the plump helmets from the embarkation wagon.

Stored corpses of dead dwarves in the kitchen.

Walled off the mouth of my entrance canyon for über security, not realizing attackers could just walk over the hills on either side.

Filled my reservoir from a well drawing from the same reservoir.

Sent a single novice marksdwarf to kill a titan. I can't remember whether he managed to fire off a shot or not.

[Loud Whispers]

Dug. Everything.

[Kie]

I dug out an entire section of the mountain to live in. That's when I learned that cave-ins existed.

I embarked anywhere and didn't understand why water kept coming from the ground I digged in.

I accidently broke the first volcano I embarked on.

[Particleman]

Filled my reservoir from a well drawing from the same reservoir.

This is my favorite. Probably because it sounds like something I would designate, then three hours later wonder why the hell the reservoir wasn't filling at all.

Probably the dumbest thing I did when I began was trying to figure out how the hell to create an adventurer while actually playing fortress mode.

EDIT: Oh yeah, there's also the time I flooded half my fort trying to make a single well.

[Aviator CJ]

For some reason I expected a floodgate to expand to block off the entire corridor it was placed in. Flooding soon followed.

I accidently broke the first volcano I embarked on.

I assume this means you broke into the volcano. Though breaking a volcano would be pretty damn epic too 

[Ishar]

I was afraid to use complex things like mechanisms, and tried to block flooding by a series of doors.

When I was filling a reservoir, I noticed how slow water was. Confident, I tried to expand that reservoir via mining. That's how I learned about pressure being a factor. Also about how water can travel upwards in the fort.

Tried to 'clean' a haunted biome of every undead.

Repeatedly sent melee squads against birds. Worked fairly well most of the time, however stupid the concept was.

And of course the usual stuff - selling wood to the elves, breaching caverns without a military, neglecting booze production, etc.

[slowpokez]

In a distant past where I was not quite as familiar with the physics of Df as I am today I assumed that the same laws would apply there as they do in reality. This resulted in me being extremly paranoid about my forts simply caving in on themselves, to counter this I fortified all of my tunnels with supports and added large pillars in the bigger rooms. For some reason I also thought that the further down I dug the more pressure would be applied to my structures, this made the making of a magma-forge a very tedious undertaking

[GoombaGeek]

I only figured out how to change z-levels on my third fort.

I thought you needed to flood plain ol' dirt to farm on it.

I made 5x5 civilian bedrooms.

[Wellincolin]

I only figured out how to change z-levels on my third fort.

I thought you needed to flood plain ol' dirt to farm on it.

I made 5x5 civilian bedrooms.

I actually followed a guide that recommended me building such large rooms.

[hjd_uk]

Not expecting invaders / no real defenses / bridges etc.

Oh and not realising that creatures and fluids can move through diagonals.

[Laserhead]

I used to care about my dwarves and try very hard to keep every single one of them alive.

[Seraphim342]

Wanted to add a strawberry farm to my plump helmet production, so I channeled out half the roof of my farm room... cave-in killed my legendary+5 farmer and legendary cook.  Then a giant came in down one of the ramps that was left over, bypassing my walls, traps, and moat.  Everyone died. 

[Rince Wind]

I thought: Oh, just a goblin, must be the first and easiest enemies coming to a fort. They probably won't even be a match for my unarmed dwarfes.

[Nyan Thousand]

I remember when I was first figuring out how to into wells.
I first decided to make a well when I realized that injured dwarves won't drink booze. One of them died, and a lot of dwarves liked him. His death ended up ruining everything via tantrum spiral.
So the next fort, I decided to make one, right? But I had no idea how wells work. There was no river or brook in the embark area, only lots of underground murky pools. I didn't think of going down the cavern layers yet, mainly because I didn't know they existed. I made an aboveground well and I connected all the pools together via channels and pumps. It was shitty and everything was stagnant. Eventually a loyalty cascade ended that fort.
My next fort didn't fare better. I decided to embark near a brook. I channeled into the brook one winter and I made my well, but I screwed up and I didn't close the breach in time for spring. The entire fort was flooded. On the upside, I trapped some elves and they went insane. It wasn't so bad.
Come the next one, I thought I'd be able to do it. Again, I embarked near a brook. Again, I channeled on the brook, but this time I first diverted the water into a reservoir, taking care to make it three z-levels deep to avoid muddy water. I then made the well, and everything was good. At first. Remember that the reservoir was connected to the brook directly. Eventually the well overflowed and the entire level was flooded. Thankfully, I managed to block it before everybody drowned. The fort ended when clowns came in.
This happened for a few more forts: In the next one, I forgot to install a floodgate. Then somebody tampered with the lever. Then I accidentally everything when six dwarves fell into the reservoir and I was trying to fish them out.

It took me, what, ten forts? But now I can say that I can do wells. Yay.

[toomanysecrets]

Starting my first fort, I followed the quickstart guide on the wiki. However, I though I was badass so I "Prepared for the journey carefully."  I thought I was so cool but it took me 3 or 4 forts to finally realize you could buy skill points and not just gear.