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Author Topic: YOU ARE HIPSTER  (Read 2623 times)

Mullet Master

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YOU ARE HIPSTER
« on: July 30, 2012, 08:24:23 pm »
CONFORMITY APPROACHES. HOW YOU STOP?
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Yoink

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2012, 08:25:13 pm »
POST ON FORUM FOR OBSCURE TEXT-BASED COMPUTER GAME
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Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on February 17, 2019, 05:32:37 pm
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
Quote from: grisha5 on August 07, 2014, 02:08:36 am
you need to reconsider your life
Quote from: JoshuaFH on March 29, 2018, 07:54:09 am
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Spinal_Taper

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2012, 08:26:07 pm »
BUY RECORD PLAYER LISTEN TO IT.
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Nirur Torir

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2012, 08:29:02 pm »
FIND NEAREST NON-STARBUCKS COFFEE SHOP DISCUSS PROBLEM WITH LIKE-MINDED AWESOME GUYS
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Mullet Master

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2012, 08:36:53 pm »
Quote from: Yoink on July 30, 2012, 08:25:13 pm
POST ON FORUM FOR OBSCURE TEXT-BASED COMPUTER GAME
(2) YOU POST ON A ZORK FANFORUM. UNFORTUNATELY , LAST POST WAS IN 1999, SO NOBODY CAN SHARE IN YOUR OBSCURITY.
Quote from: Spinal_Taper on July 30, 2012, 08:26:07 pm
BUY RECORD PLAYER LISTEN TO IT.
(5) YOU BUY A RECORD PLAYER AND LET THE NEEDLE SKIP AROUND ON THE PLATTER, MAKING THE OCCASIONAL HISS AND POP. OTHER HIPSTERS IN YOUR APARTMENT BUILDING NOTICE YOU.

NEW HIPSTER LEVEL ACHIEVED!
LEVEL 1! TOM ARNOLD !

Quote from: Nirur Torir on July 30, 2012, 08:29:02 pm
FIND NEAREST NON-STARBUCKS COFFEE SHOP DISCUSS PROBLEM WITH LIKE-MINDED AWESOME GUYS

(6) YOU GO TO THE COFFEE SHOP THE GREEN GROUNDS FAIR TRADE COFFEE CO-OP AND REVEAL YOUR SUCCESS IN POST MODERNIST RECORD PLAYER LISTENING. TWO OTHER HIPSTER DUDES NOTICE THIS BREAKTHROUGH. THEY IMMEDIATELY LEAVE TO GO HOME TO LISTEN TO THEIR RECORD PLATTERS WHILE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF DUKE ELLINGTON, WHICH IS WAY MORE COOL THAN WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

YOU SEE A CUTE GIRL FOLLOWING THE TWO DUDES.
HOW TO ESTABLISH REAL CRED TO HER?


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Scelly9

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2012, 08:47:58 pm »
FIND HIPSTER FORUMS, DECIDE THEY ARE TOO MAINSTREAM. FOUND YOUR OWN.
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Quote from: blackmagechill on June 08, 2012, 05:08:32 pm
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

Greenstarfanatic

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2012, 08:49:41 pm »
MAKE OWN PANTS.

REALISE TOO MAINSTREAM.

BUY PANTS FROM BLACK MARKET.
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Hey, don't forget about research boy sitting right here!

DinosaurusRex_x

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2012, 08:55:04 pm »
Pull out some cash from your trustfund.

Buy drugs and a vintage poleroid camera.
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Play my picture adventure games: Roll to Dodge Mr T and You Are Douchebag!

Spinal_Taper

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2012, 08:58:48 pm »
TAKE PICTURES OF HIPSTER GIRL WITH SAID CAMERA.
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GraveHaunter92

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2012, 09:06:47 pm »
WEAR SCARF IN 100 DEGREE WEATHER
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Quote from: TCM on March 25, 2013, 04:23:36 pm
Jesus must have been guiding him in living out the way of the samurai.

Mullet Master

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2012, 09:11:00 pm »
Quote from: Scelly9 on July 30, 2012, 08:47:58 pm
FIND HIPSTER FORUMS, DECIDE THEY ARE TOO MAINSTREAM. FOUND YOUR OWN.
4

YOU MAKE A NEW FORUM ABOUT THE GENTRIFICATION OF YOUR APARTMENT BUILDING. IT GETS 0 NEW MEMBERS IN A THREE MONTH TIME, DESPITE AN ADVERTISEMENT BEING ON EVERY TELEPHONE POLE AND COFFEE HOUSE BULLETIN BOARD IN A 5 BLOCK RADIUS.  IT IS  VERY EXCLUSIVE.

NEW HIPSTER LEVEL ACHIEVED!
LEVEL 2!
KID ROCK!

Quote from: Greenstarfanatic on July 30, 2012, 08:49:41 pm
MAKE OWN PANTS.

REALISE TOO MAINSTREAM.

BUY PANTS FROM BLACK MARKET.
6
YOU MAKE PANTS OUT OF A SHOWER CURTAIN, BUT DECIDE THAT SHOWER CURTAINS WERE TOTALLY LAST MONTH. YOU DECIDE TO TEAR UP THE PANTS PUBLICALLY, DECRYING THE MAKER CULTURE OF YOUR CITY AND CREATING A PRO-CAPTALIST STANCE BY BUYING BLACK MARKET BRAND NAME PANTS FROM SOME SKEEZY DUDE DOWN BY THE DOCK. THE MASSES VIEW THIS AS FORWARD THINKING AND YOU SLEEP WELL AT NIGHT WITH YOUR BLACK MARKET PANTS.

NEW HIPSTER LEVEL ACHIEVED!
LEVEL 3!
ICE T!!

Quote from: DinosaurusRex_x on July 30, 2012, 08:55:04 pm
Pull out some cash from your trustfund.

Buy drugs and a vintage poleroid camera.

1
YOU ATTEMPT TO BUY DRUGS FROM A COP. AS YOUR PARENTS BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL FOR A LARGE SUM OF MONEY, OTHER HIPSTERS ACROSS THE ROAD NOTICE THE WEALTH OF YOUR PARENTS. YOU ARE THE 1%, AND YOU ARE ALONE IN YOUR SUFFERING. YOU DON'T GET INVITED TO BOWLING THAT SATURDAY, OR VEGAN BRUNCH ON SUNDAY. YOU CRY AS YOU BUY A VINTAGE POLAROID CAMERA FROM THE LOCAL CAMERA STORE.


Quote from: GraveHaunter92 on July 30, 2012, 09:06:47 pm
WEAR SCARF IN 100 DEGREE WEATHER
4
YOU DON YOUR SCARF BUT IT ONLY CAUSES LICE TO INFEST YOUR NECK. CRUSTACEANS ARE SO OUT RIGHT NOW.

Quote from: Spinal_Taper on July 30, 2012, 08:58:48 pm
TAKE PICTURES OF HIPSTER GIRL WITH SAID CAMERA.
4
YOU STAND OUTSIDE THE HIPSTER GIRLS WINDOW, BREATHING HEAVILY ON THE GLASS. YOU TAKE SEVERAL PICTURES OF HER EATING WASABI PEAS AND POST THEM TO YOUR FACEBOOK, TAGGING HER THROUGH THE FOGGED WINDOW. SHE IS SOMEWHAT IMPRESSED BY THIS. SHE INVITES YOU TO EAT DINNER TOMORROW.


WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO EAT DINNER?
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Scelly9

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2012, 09:12:07 pm »
A cave, eating moss. Food is too mainstream.
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Quote from: blackmagechill on June 08, 2012, 05:08:32 pm
You taste the jug! It is ceramic.
Quote from: Loud Whispers
SUPPORT THE COMMUNIST GAY MOVEMENT!

GraveHaunter92

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2012, 09:49:55 pm »
I SURVIVE BY EATING THE LICE I HAVE CULTIVATED MYSELF
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Quote from: TCM on March 25, 2013, 04:23:36 pm
Jesus must have been guiding him in living out the way of the samurai.

Greenstarfanatic

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2012, 09:52:02 pm »
IN A HOLE. THAT I DUG WITH A FISH.
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Hey, don't forget about research boy sitting right here!

Mullet Master

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Re: YOU ARE HIPSTER
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2012, 10:15:25 pm »
YOU TAKE YOUR DATE TALLULAH TO A CAVE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN.}
1
SHE FEARS FOR HER LIFE AND CALLS HER BFF ON HER IPHONE TO COME PICK HER UP. UNFORTUNATELY FOR HER, HER BFF IS TOO BUSY AT AN ART FAIR AND WILL ARRIVE IN 4-6 HOURS.

2
YOU OFFER HER A MEAL OF LICE YOU CULTIVATED IN A HOLE THAT YOU DUG WITH A FISH CORPSE. SHE VOMITS UNCONTROLLABLY AND THEN USES HER PHONE TO TWEET ABOUT "OMG ON THE WORSE DATE EVER #scared #disgusting". SHE TAKES A PICTURE OF LICE AND TAGS YOUR NAME ON IT ON FACEBOOK. YOU SUFFER AN EXTREME CREDIBILITY HIT.

AFTER THE DATE IS OVER, YOU FIND EVICTION PAPERS ON YOUR APARTMENT DOOR. EVERYONE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD THINKS YOU ARE WEIRD. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE TO A NEW NEIGHBORHOOD. HOW DO YOU CHOOSE?
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