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Author Topic: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say  (Read 1035057 times)

FearfulJesuit

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@Footjob, you can microwave most grains I've tried pretty easily through the microwave, even if they aren't packaged for it.

My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7126 on: October 24, 2013, 11:49:49 am »

Jack Chick made his own version of it.

The ignorance, it burns.
The funny thing is that while they may have 'disproved' evolution, they never proved anything else.

I also liked the part where they cherry picked the evidence. And the part where the Aryan student faced off against the (Jewish?) goatee'd and fat professor.
« Last Edit: October 24, 2013, 11:54:41 am by My Name is Immaterial »
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7127 on: October 24, 2013, 11:52:31 am »

I wouldn't be surprised if it was intentional. Chick is as racist as he is fundamentalist.
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SealyStar

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7128 on: October 24, 2013, 03:37:35 pm »

This is the original, as well as the Snopes article debunking it.

Jack Chick made his own version of it.

Then there's the parody version:
Quote
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

And finally, there's the Tumblr Social Justice version.
That parody is... glorious.

EDIT: The Tumblr version even more so. "The proper term is 'trans-dead'".
« Last Edit: October 24, 2013, 03:43:03 pm by SealyStar »
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I assume it was about cod tendies and an austerity-caused crunch in the supply of good boy points.

scrdest

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7129 on: October 24, 2013, 04:35:30 pm »

I wouldn't be surprised if it was intentional. Chick is as racist as he is fundamentalist.

In regards to Jews, he's a little hazy. He doesn't overtly play into character stereotypes most of the time, but whenever he wants to demonize some character, he gives him stereotypically Jewish traits.

This is the original, as well as the Snopes article debunking it.

Jack Chick made his own version of it.

Then there's the parody version:
Quote
-cut for space-[/url]
That parody is... glorious.

EDIT: The Tumblr version even more so. "The proper term is 'trans-dead'".

Shouldn't it be 'trans-live'?
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Graknorke

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7130 on: October 24, 2013, 04:39:48 pm »

Remember the "atheist professor is ruined by defiant christian student" copypasta? Somebody had the bright idea that it should be made into a full movie.
And that student's name... was Ronald Reagan.
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Mr Space Cat

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7131 on: October 24, 2013, 05:14:51 pm »

Remember the "atheist professor is ruined by defiant christian student" copypasta? Somebody had the bright idea that it should be made into a full movie.
Googling the movie, this appears to be a real thing coming soon. Huh. The trailer for it just seems so hammy. Huh. I thought it was an overtly elaborate troll/joke thing. Huh.
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scrdest

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7132 on: October 24, 2013, 05:26:43 pm »

Until it's confirmed via googling, it's impossible to tell if it's real or not.

Snopes is your friend here, good sir.

(I now feel tempted to photoshop a polar bear in a tophat).
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

Dutchling

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7133 on: October 24, 2013, 05:27:53 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Graknorke

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My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7135 on: October 24, 2013, 08:34:19 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Is that my brother?

That was a hell of a night.
Where's that paw going? It's a little low for dancing, don't you think?

Xantalos

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7136 on: October 24, 2013, 08:35:47 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Is that my brother?

That was a hell of a night.
Where's that paw going? It's a little low for dancing, don't you think?
Boxing. It was an uppercut.
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My Name is Immaterial

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7137 on: October 27, 2013, 11:50:41 pm »

Quote from: FSTDT
If I may, one counter argument that has been forming is that all non-hetero, perverse sex (BDSM, pedophilia, bestiality, and such) originates in non-consensual sex. Throw in abortion and/or STD and society has one more basket case it is not capable of healing.

Consensual sex later on in life is a contract between two people to either recreate or treat that original rape. Like goslings imprinting on their mother, the original act will shape the person’s life without a stronger, correcting force. People seek that force, but turn away from the Christian church in favor of paganism, witchcraft, Buddhism – religions that promise personal power over others – a power they didn’t have when they were raped. The few studies that seem to indicate this meet with suppression.
Ignoring all the rape causes "non-hetero perverse sex" BS, I may not be Buddhist, but that is not how Buddhism works.

Edit: Found this little gem:
Quote
LaBarbera: We need to work on our conservative, alternate media and say, ‘look, don’t do the pro-gay thing, why don’t you rather step out and support these ex-gays?’ We should encourage Fox News to tell their stories. Fox is now telling the stories of black conservatives because the other media is not doing that, we should all get on Fox and say, ‘come on, tell these stories, these wonderful stories of happy men and women who have left the homosexual lifestyle.’

Scarborough: Peter, the whole issue of a class action lawsuit, you and I have talked about this a little bit. I just wonder if you’ve explored that, talked to anyone about it. Obviously, statistically now even the Centers for Disease Control verifies that homosexuality much more likely leads to AIDS than smoking leads to cancer. And yet the entire nation has rejected smoking, billions of dollars are put into a trust fund to help cancer victims and the tobacco industry was held accountable for that. Any thoughts on that kind of an approach?

LaBarbera: Yeah I think that’s great. I would love to see it. We always wanted to see one of the kid in high school who was counseled by the official school counselor to just be gay, then he comes down with HIV. But we never really got the client for that.
I wonder why not? I mean, I was TOTALLY counseled to be gay. I mean, wasn't everyone?
« Last Edit: October 27, 2013, 11:53:11 pm by My Name is Immaterial »
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Xantalos

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7138 on: October 27, 2013, 11:52:31 pm »

Wait wat.
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Graknorke

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #7139 on: October 27, 2013, 11:59:56 pm »

I can't understand what is being said.
It's like someone knows what English language looks like and the words and generally how they go together, but has never actually read it before.
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