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[Flying Dice]

Tell her the plot to C&C: Red Alert as if it were real history.

[GoombaGeek]

You forgot the time when John A. Mackenzie and the French Army burned down the White House during the Civil War.

[RedKing]

My brothers girlfriend asked me "Who's Stephen Hawking?" I facepalmed hard that day.

You should roll with it. Say he was some famous general or something, who conquered all of Greece and lost it to the Chinese.

The dirty capitalist Chinese.

But then Greece was freed by the revolution thrown by the uber badass, JFK, who was in turn assassinated by Hitler, who would go on to conquer Germany and create the Holocaust.

But you know, Hitler wasn't all bad. He did kill Hitler.

The Nazis also conducted a bunch of scientific research without harming any animals.

They didn't think of it that way.

The world was shit anyways until George Washington was elected, with his vice-president Abraham Lincoln, and he led the Americans to end WWI and WWII in one fell swoop.

Unfortunately I told her how smart he is, and (indirectly mind you) how stupid and ignorent she is compaired to him. She also doesnt know who participated in WWII and WWI. So I'll give her this weird ass story but leave Hawking out and replace him with Albert Einstein.

*twitch*

hhrrrrrnnnnnnggggHhhHHHHH!!!!

...fuck it, I'm glad I'm old. I'll be dead before the stupids fuck it up any worse.

[Scelly9]

There was one decent fellow a few seasons back, before I stopped watching. Some old guy. He won, IIRC. And he was awesome.

I remember one guy, he didn't win but he was the most manipulative, evil bastard ever. My god, that guy was good.

Was it that chinese-american guy? Yao-something I think? He invented the fake idol. It was fun watching everyone fall for it.

No, Russle was his name, I think. He never needed a fake idol, he found three of them with no clues.

[Oliolli]

Actually, fuck all that, let's just design an advanced AI supercomputer and do whatever it says.

I'd be down for the computer thing. I for one welcome our cold, unfeeling mechanical overlord.

Just remember to not accept any cake it offers. Other than that, I'm all for it.

We are teaching it Asimov's three four 0_th and 1_st laws of robotics... right?

[miauw62]

Well, we'll have to make sure it doesnt make any deadly neurotoxin.

[Darvi]

We also have to shield it from ion storms and keep the taters away.

[SomeStupidGuy]

There was one decent fellow a few seasons back, before I stopped watching. Some old guy. He won, IIRC. And he was awesome.

I remember one guy, he didn't win but he was the most manipulative, evil bastard ever. My god, that guy was good.

Was it that chinese-american guy? Yao-something I think? He invented the fake idol. It was fun watching everyone fall for it.

No, Russle was his name, I think. He never needed a fake idol, he found three of them with no clues.

Nah, I remember who he's talking about, Yau-Man Chan.
Dude was pretty smart about the whole thing though, only reason he didn't win was that one of the other players went back on some deal they made.
Why do I remember this? Seriously, I didn't even watch survivor except for that season...

[Karnewarrior]

There was one decent fellow a few seasons back, before I stopped watching. Some old guy. He won, IIRC. And he was awesome.

I remember one guy, he didn't win but he was the most manipulative, evil bastard ever. My god, that guy was good.

Was it that chinese-american guy? Yao-something I think? He invented the fake idol. It was fun watching everyone fall for it.

No, Russle was his name, I think. He never needed a fake idol, he found three of them with no clues.

Yeah, what the ninja said. Yau-man would have whoops Russle's conniving ass three ways to sunday and still been cooler than Mr Miyagi.

I don't know if that sentance makes sense but it doesn't matter because Yau-man was awesome.

[justinlee999]

We also have to shield it from ion storms and keep the taters away.

Did you forget the griffons?

[Darvi]

Nothing can protect you from griffons.

[RedKing]

We also have to shield it from ion storms and keep the taters away.

Did you forget the griffons?

AH! AHHH! BIRD!! Kill it, it's evil!!

[GoombaGeek]

Minecraftforum parody suggestion: Replace cubes with rhombic dodecahedra

Spoiler: Image posted in thread (click to show/hide)

"How is this any different?"
"Those are just cubes rotated 90 degrees you dumbass."
Only Sane Man: "No, those are actually different shapes, and this is pretty obviously a joke."
"I don't care if they're rotated, they have square sides. So what? Still cubes."

Minecraftforum: where the existence of basic geometry is refuted by more than one person

[SealyStar]

Minecraftforum parody suggestion: Replace cubes with rhombic dodecahedra

Spoiler: Image posted in thread (click to show/hide)

"How is this any different?"
"Those are just cubes rotated 90 degrees you dumbass."
Only Sane Man: "No, those are actually different shapes, and this is pretty obviously a joke."
"I don't care if they're rotated, they have square sides. So what? Still cubes."

Minecraftforum: where the existence of basic geometry is refuted by more than one person

Even if it's a parody, I didn't know anyone actually used the suggestions forum there.

You'd think they'd realize that nothing suggested there ever goes anywhere.

[SomeStupidGuy]

Minecraft's community is made up largely of entitled idiots who think they've got simply amazing ideas.
Mind you, not all of the community. Just enough to make me never want to browse the forums.