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[OREOSOME]

Would this scenario also include the variables induced by the attempted assassination that occurred and the resulting injuries?

[MonkeyHead]

I suppose I could break it down per year as a function of stabbing rate (less stabs on busy/assassination year) and integrate to find the total number of stabs...

[Flying Dice]

Another thing I failed to consider is body disposal. So we need to have him standing on a very tall platform over the mid-Atlantic Trench or a vat of lava. If he was just standing on some random patch of ground, he'd be buried in a mountain of corpses within days, which would severely curtail further stabbing efforts, seeing as how he'd need to use his knife and hands to dig a gory tunnel to sunlight.

[Karnewarrior]

This conversation would never have happened on the Sporums.

I'm glad I upgraded to Bay 12.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Obviously if the SS are bringing Hitler the bodies, then obviously they would also dispose of them, for maximum Hitler Stabbing Efficiency.

EDIT: What if Hitler used a pitchfork/trident? Would the increase in the number of stabs per second be worth the decrease in the stab-to-kill ratio?

[misko27]

So guys, It appears the systemised killings began in June of 1941, so that gives us less time for stabbings.

Another thing I failed to consider is body disposal. So we need to have him standing on a very tall platform over the mid-Atlantic Trench or a vat of lava. If he was just standing on some random patch of ground, he'd be buried in a mountain of corpses within days, which would severely curtail further stabbing efforts, seeing as how he'd need to use his knife and hands to dig a gory tunnel to sunlight.

Well, what if there were a conveyor belt underneath him? It could shuttle bodies of at a steady rate, presumbably to a yard somewhere where they would fight the rising tide of bodies. Of course, going on for years this becomes impractical, so perhaps they simply dumped it in the ocean.

[Darvi]

maximum Hitler Stabbing Efficiency.

I think this might be the first time those four words were written in this context, instead of the opposite one.

[Flying Dice]

If we're going to go for an accurate model, then, we'll need the following conditions:

1 June 1941-7 May 1945 for our timeframe. 1944 was a leapyear so that adds one extra day.

That gives us 1437 days, or 124,156,800 seconds. We'll assume 6 hours per day for sleeping plus 2 hours per day for eating, excreting, and mustache grooming, but zero additional seconds of wasted time due to that SS efficiency. That means he only has 82,771,200 seconds in which to stab. This is where things get tricky.

For 1941, let us assume that he is still fairly out of shape and is suffering from the strain on his arms. We'll equate that to 2 seconds per stab, and 2 stabs per fatality, which gives us a kill ratio of 1 death per 4 seconds. 1941 is responsible for 12,326,400 of the total stab-seconds available, so in 1941 from 1 June to New Year's Eve at midnight, Hitler stabbed 12326400/4 = 3,081,600 people.

After that, he'll be in fairly decent shape as far as his arms go, so we can drop the rate to 1 stab every 1.5 seconds and 1.5 stabs on average for a death. That increases the kill ratio to 1 death per 2.25 seconds. Now, from 1 January 1942 to 7 May 1945 there are 82771200 - 12326400 = 70,444,800 stab-second available. At 1 death per 2.25 seconds, that works out to Hitler stabbing 70444800/2.25 = 31,308,800 people.

The total number of deaths by Hitler-stabbing between 1 June 1941 and 7 May 1945 then works out to be 34,390,400 people, or a little more than three times the actual number of deaths in the Holocaust. By way of comparison, the estimated population of Germany (and annexed territories) in 1939 was approximately 80,600,000 people. For another comparison, the total number of deaths in World War 1 was roughly 16 million.

In conclusion, if Hitler had spent every free moment from June 1941 to VE Day stabbing people in the face, he would have been personally responsible for more than twice as many deaths as World War I.

[MonkeyHead]

So, slightly more than my on average one death per 100 sec for the 13 years he was in power for?

There would come a point where the stabbings would be by necessity carried out on people that would be helping him - mainly the SS, thus harming his efficiency in the later months of stabbing.

[Flying Dice]

In 1945, the stated manpower of the SS was at around 840,000 members. So no, he wouldn't be impacting his efficiency. He doesn't even have to draw victims solely from Germany, remember. The war is still ongoing, Hitler is just spending all of his time stabbing people in the face. Arguably, that could help the Nazi war effort and make the war drag on for much longer. But for our purposes it means that he can also draw victims from most of Europe.

[MonkeyHead]

Good point. I had simply envisaged him running around Berlin stabbing chumps.

[kaenneth]

Wouldn't he get RSI/Carpal Tunnel before long?

[Graknorke]

I'm still not sure he could maintain a constant 1/2 stab a second rate for much over a few minutes. 1/10 would be more realistic over a long period of time, seeing as he'd need to rest occasionally with all of that stabbing.

[Mephansteras]

You also have to account for victim movement. Either victims need to be brought to him, or he needs to move to them. I guess a suitable conveyer belt system could give him the needed time window without any loss of efficiency or wasted time, although you might have people survive the stabs he give them and need to be cycled back around for more stabbings.

Then we have issues of gore making the blade difficult to use, knife replacements for when they get dull, and honestly he'd need some set rests at various points to keep up the effort.

Either way, I think you have to assume something much less than optimal stabbing/death efficiency.

[The Darkling Wolf]

The SS and Gestapo are herding people towards him, this is established