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Author Topic: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say  (Read 1034428 times)

kaijyuu

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1350 on: September 28, 2012, 11:27:33 am »

Them: "Do you have a size 11 in this shoe?"
* The Fool checks the boxes in front of them and finds it at the top of the stack.
Me: "Yes. It's right there."

I swear, some customers are either very stupid, or very helpless. Then again I suppose this is standard in retail.
Mostly helpless. The stupid ones would yell at you for giving them an 11 even though that's what they asked for.
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For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Akura

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1351 on: September 28, 2012, 11:31:36 am »

I can't count(mostly because I never bothered to) all the people who come into the store, I greet them and ask if they need help, and then they stop, look at me, look at my nametag, then ask "Do you work here?"

Let's see. I'm standing by the door, I ask if you need help finding anything in a fake-polite tone, I'm wearing a nametag with the store name on it. Yes I fucking work here, now how can I help you?
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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1352 on: September 28, 2012, 11:32:24 am »

Them: "Do you have a size 11 in this shoe?"
* The Fool checks the boxes in front of them and finds it at the top of the stack.
Me: "Yes. It's right there."

I swear, some customers are either very stupid, or very helpless. Then again I suppose this is standard in retail.


Welcome to my world. :)

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Them: Excuse me, where are the grapes?
Me: ...
Them: Oh. Thanks.
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kaijyuu

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1353 on: September 28, 2012, 11:34:08 am »

I do stuff like that all the time :(

Me: "Hey, where is X?"
* kaijyuu looks sideways to avoid eye contact because I'm shy like that.
* kaijyuu sees what I'm looking for.
Me: "Oops, sorry."
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Mephansteras

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1354 on: September 28, 2012, 12:11:21 pm »

Them: "Do you have a size 11 in this shoe?"
* The Fool checks the boxes in front of them and finds it at the top of the stack.
Me: "Yes. It's right there."

I swear, some customers are either very stupid, or very helpless. Then again I suppose this is standard in retail.

Eh, that's not too bad. Sometimes you just can't see something right in front of you. Happens to me all the time. It's really annoying, but I can't really do anything about it.

No, the people I hated in retail were the people who would ask me about stuff and then assume that I had no idea what I was talking about. If you weren't going to believe whatever I said anyway, why did you ask?
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RedKing

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1355 on: September 28, 2012, 12:14:42 pm »

I dont think it would be apreciated by the company Red works for that he shoots his customers.
But they'll secretly smuggle it in anyway.
Honestly, they'd probably expect it. He's a gubmint worker, isn't he?
Yes, and I'm thinking the phonegun would actually fall under our jurisdiction as a firearm. Using one to take out an ATF employee would be some serious meta irony.
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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1356 on: September 28, 2012, 01:05:22 pm »

Let's see. I'm standing by the door, I ask if you need help finding anything in a fake-polite tone, I'm wearing a nametag with the store name on it. Yes I fucking work here, now how can I help you?
Tbh they're not at fault. It's not that hard to get a name tag, ask someone if they need help politely whilst standing by the door. Thieves and scammers exist, and some of their plans range from the sublime to the ACME.

The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1357 on: September 28, 2012, 01:17:03 pm »

Yeah, I once tackled a dude who was trying to steal a trolly full of shopping from an old woman at Tesco. He pretended he was working there and offered to bring it out to her car for her.
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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1358 on: September 28, 2012, 01:21:53 pm »

It's still kind of stupid. If someone is trying to scam you by pretending to work there and stealing the stuff you buy, are they suddenly going to go "OH SHIT! You asked if I work here! I do not, my plan is ruined!"

Unless they're either a ninja-costume wearing fox who chases small Spanish girls, or are incapable of lying with words but can with actions and appearance.
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The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1359 on: September 28, 2012, 01:26:43 pm »

If you're showing the slightest amount of suspicion, most of them will just give up. It's far easier to scam someone who isn't going to go and ask the floor manager if you're an employee as soon as you turn your back.
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SealyStar

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1360 on: September 28, 2012, 02:14:32 pm »

High School Physics Lab.

Figuring out mathematical models for something.

After measuring everything in meters and centimeters, some kid decides to convert back into feet and inches.

After he had everything measured in metric already.
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MrWillsauce

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1361 on: September 28, 2012, 02:19:12 pm »

That reminds me of a really derptastic embarrassing thing that happened to me in chemistry. My chem teacher was talking about conversion factors and he randomly asked me how many feet were in a mile. My mind went blank, so I was just like "We don't use the English system in chemistry..." and he was like "you're right we don't, but you're an American! We use this stupid system here. You really don't know how many feet were in a mile?" and I was just like ":-["
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The Darkling Wolf

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1362 on: September 28, 2012, 02:26:11 pm »

You could have just informed him that you had better things to learn than outdated systems of measurement which are of absolutely no use to you anywhere, like perhaps the things he was supposed to be teaching :P
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RedKing

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1363 on: September 28, 2012, 02:29:09 pm »

5280. They kinda use to drill that into people here.

Why 5280? Well, apparently the old Roman mile was roughly 5000 feet, but the primary Romano-British agricultural measure was the furlong, defined as how far a horse could pull a plough before resting. Somehow that got standardized at 660 feet. They wanted to use the mile for long-distance linear measurement, but they wanted it to be interchangeable with the furlong. So it was extended to 5,280 feet to match eight furlongs.
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

MrWillsauce

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Re: Amazingly Stupid Things You've Heard People Say
« Reply #1364 on: September 28, 2012, 02:29:21 pm »

No it wasn't like that. He's actually a really good teacher, it was just one of those things to engage students and catch kids who aren't paying attention.
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