"Damn! Youtube videos! My greatest weapon is useless!"
Attack Greenstarfanatic again out of spite.
-Edit-
This time with a big fucking sword.
Counter with my up-till-now-MacGuffin Sword! Y'know that one from the beginning? Also trade an army or random Freak Minions to GwG in exchange for the new Portal Gun thingy.
Also, I'm a Paladin, sorta-kinda now.
(4vs2) THE BLADE OF MACGUFFINISM IS SWUNG AT THE BIGGEST BLADE EVER SEEN. UNFORTUNATLY, GRAVITY TRUMPS PLOT, AND THE MACGUFFIN BLADE SHATTERS INTO A BAZILLION PIECES, WHICH FLY INTO GREENSTARS ABDOMEN, CAUSING BLEEDING AND INFECTION
Ready my Titanium Scythe, and apologize to Aperature for not being able to continue my aid. Then, TELEFRAG YOINK, BISECT HIM WITH THE SCYTHE, AND CAPTURE HIS WEAPON!
For the true greater good. For Dirg, Misko, Lichette, and the rest of Andromeda!!!
(5VS2+3) HIS DRUNKENESS LETS HIM DODGE THE BLOW!
LICK TIM IN SNOUT TO ESTABLISH ROMANCE
TELEPORT GUESTS TO PARTY ZONE
(2) "Uh..."
(4) THE GUESTS ARRIVE, THEN MILL ABOUT AWKWARDLY.
USE ONE-MAN-BAND POWERS TO GAIN ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD. Or at least five bucks so I can get food.
(4) YOU GAIN MONEY. A LOT OF MONEY. YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH TO BUY A SMALL REPUBLIC.
"I GOT THIS! I CAN PWN THIS LITTLE GODDY"
KICK VORTHON'S ASS UNTIL HE IS NO LONGER A GOD.
(2vs2) YOU TRY AND KICK A PARTICLE, BUT IT RETALIATES BY BEING A PARTICLE.
Attempt to ascend again, whilst pumping Miauw's head full of horror flicks to paralyze him with fear and/or sensory overload!
Change of action!
Become god of furries, create glorious furry empire. Populated by anthropomorphic critters, of course.
(3) YOU BECOME A STEREOTYPICAL FURRY. IT'S NOT A VERY RECTIFYING LIFE.
>USE THE SUPERMASSIVE BLACKHOLE AT THE GALACTIC CENTER TO POWER UP THE VOID VORTEX
(6) YOU USE THE SUPERMASSIVE BLACKHOLE AT THE GALACTIC CENTER TO CREATE A GALAXY WITHIN THE VOID, ROBBING IT OF ALL POWER
BOSSES
CLOSE ENOUGH.
A shadow from beyond normal dimensions seems to colease in one spot.
"I mean, shit, Spore? Still f*cking counts. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I gotta go."
The shadow moves out of existence, but not before:
"Oh yeah, and my bargain with Wrex. Complete, buddy. Go in if you want."
A portal to a realm of infinite killing opens up and the shadow leaves, leaving behind...to be revealed next turn.
(2+1) YOU AND YOUR NEW FORM ARE RECREATED INTO THIS PLANE. (5+1) THEN, YOU CREATE A PORTAL TO A REALM OF KILLING. THEN YOU LEAVE, LEAVING SOMETHING ELSE.
"Yoink, as much as I really wanna get rid of Misko, I can't let you possibly hurt Lichette!" DESTROY YOINK'S WMD BIKE BY CASTING METEOR SWARM ON HIM AND IT BEFORE IT CAN GET A SHOT OFF.
(1+3vs2+2) THE BIKE WITHSTANDS!
If I got Haste, cast Haste. On me, of course.
If not, create portal gun with linked gel-shooters for repulsion, propulsion, and portal gels. If this happens, give portal gun to Vorthon upon delivery if the new minions.
(3+3) YOU HAD RESEARCHED HASTE, BUT I THOUGHT THAT SOMETHING. YOU THEN CAST IT, AND YOU SPEED UP!
>Politely Excuse self for a moment, tell military to see if radiation from the particle can be used for horror flicks.
>"Wait, Me? Umm. Hmm. I'm not entirely sure. My startegy of bombing it till it died failed, as I didn't hurt it all that much. The startegy will have to be more subtle. What exactly did you have in mind? I mean, we could just all rush at it at once, but He might just teleport away and take potshots with that gun of his. What I know about my time fighting him is two things: A) That gun tears mattter apart down to a sub-atomic level, leaving a mess of various quarks. B) The strongest personnel weaponry I have, anti-matter, gave him a gash. Therefore, he is highly resistant to physical damage. A head-on assualt is suicide. We must distract or disable him somehow, or destroy/steal that gun of his. "
>STOP JUST BEFORE EARTH.
>TURN AROUND.
>STARE BACK TOWARDS NEW YOINKINIUM THROUGH THE VAST VOID OF SPACE, TEARS MOISTENING MY EYES AS I UNSCREW MY FLASK, REMEMBERING ALL THE GOOD TIMES, ALL THE ROUGH TIMES, THE TIMES I WAS A HERO AND THE TIMES I FAILED. THE PEOPLE WHO DIED DUE TO MY FAILURES.
>TAKE A LONG PULL OF WHISKEY.
"THIS ENDS NOW. I'M SORRY. IT'S FOR THE GREATER GOOD."
>DESTROY ENTIRETY OF ANDROMEDA GALAXY, INCLUDING NEW YOINKINIUM AND EVERYONE ON IT, WITH THE GALAXY DESTROYING SUPERWEAPON ON THE WMD-BIKE. LEAVE THE MILKY WAY, AND BY EXTENSION EARTH, UNHARMED.
>KILL COUNTLESS PEOPLE, YET SAVE THE UNIVERSE BY DOING SO.
WAIT, NO. MILITARY, ARREST THIS MAN AND CONFISCATE HIS BIKE.
(5+3) THEY CAN USE IT! IT'S USEFUL FOR ENDOWING AN OBJECT WITH THE POWER OF B-MOVIES. WHICH MOSTLY MAKES THINGS CORNY. (3+3vs1+4) LICHETTE DETECTS IMPENDING DESTRUCTION AS EASILY AS YOU DO, THROWING THE BLADE OF DAMNED SOULS AT YOUR LEAD GENERAL, WHO TAKES THE BLADE, LEAPING INTO THE AIR, SWINGING IT ABOUT AS THE
WAVE MOTION Gun FIRES ITS CANNONS AT NEW YOINKINIUM. HIS BLADE DEFLECTS HALF OF THE BEAM, SPARING ONE HALF OF THE PLANET. THE OTHER HALF IS CHANGED. CORRUPTED.
LICHETTE:
Lichette materializes in front of Yoink.
"Yoink. You can't do this. Not now. We need all the help we can get. Tim is a threat. No reason to infight now."
NPC:
"Uh... LordSlowpoke... I think I'd like to have some time without you..."
Tell Tim that no one really knows anymore. It's some sort of monster from beyond time and space. He apparently makes good cocktails, or so I've been told.
> Continue to lope around.
(4) YOU CONTINUE WALKING AROUND, HAVING NOTHING BETTER TO DO.
GET THE PARTY STARTED
(2) OH NOES! THE GUESTS ARE DELAYED BY A TRAFFIC JAM!
You know what? Actually, screw it.
Thank Dirg, and Aid GreatWyrmGold's Research.
(5) +2 GIVEN TO GWG.
REATTEMPT ASCENSION TO GODHOOD.
(1+2) YOU ASCEND TO THE GOD OF HORROR FLICKS.
headshot nazi faces
(3) YOU SHOOT A NAZI IN THE HEAD, SHORTLY BEFORE THE OTHER NAZIS REALIZE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GUN YOU DOWN.
Become One-man-band, play saxophone, drums qnd somehow the piano. Simultaneously
All at once.
(5) YOU BECOME A FAMOUS ONE MAN BAND FOR BEING ABLE TO PLAY COUNTLESS INSTRUMENTS SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Wait..wha? I mean I totally wasn't sleeping. What the fuck is going on?
CREATE EMPIRE OF THE SUN! ALSO HELP STOP CURRENT THREAT TO PALADINS! ALSO FINALLY FUCKING JOIN THEM, SHEEEEEEEET!
(1) YOU DIVE INTO THE SUN TO ESTABLISH THE EMPIRE. SADLY, YOUR LONG ABSENCE HAS DRAINED YOUR ABILITIES AND YOU ROAST LIKE A PILE OF PAPER SHREDS.
"Tim, xanty is trying to destroy the universe. And da_nang, and lordslowpoke."
LIQUOR UP XANTALOS AGAIN, GIVING HIM A -1 MALUS
(4) HE'S PRETTY DAMN DRUNK.
"IT'S TIME TO RAMP UP THINGS"
>USE DARK ENERGY TO BOOST THE POWER OF THE VOID VORTEX, INCREASING THE GROWTH RATE OF THE VORTEX
(1) YOU USE DORK ENERGY TO BOOST THE POWER OF THE BAD LORE CODEX. IT RETCONS YOU OUT!
Say 'Fuck it' and join Misko. First order of business: Kill Cassandra.
"Seeman, Seeldier, sic 'er/'im."
(5+1vs5) THE TWO OF THEM BOTH SEE THINGS. CASSANDRA DOES AS WELL. THINGS ARE GETTING AKWARD THOUGH. SHE'S SEEING LESS.
Say 'Fuck it' and join Misko. First order of business: Kill Cassandra.
"Seeman, Seeldier, sic 'er/'im."
IMPEDE ACTION/PROTECT CASSANDRA.
"I have your back, Cassandra. Until GreatWyrmGold calls me off at least."
(1) YOU BLAST GREENSTAR WITH YOUTUBE VIDEOS, ASSUMING THOSE TO BE HIS WEAKNESS. SADLY, THE GUY WHOS POWERS REVOLVE AROUND WEIRD YOUTUBE VIDEOS ISN'T WEAK TO THEM.
BOSSES:
Evil Lichette makes good point, though it worries me that she had to roll a die to do so. Hmm.
"Well, my military can probably handle baby-sitting a particle, Fine. I'll be there in a turn. If this is a trick, I have insurance against it."
>Lock sub-atomic particle in stasis cage. Get Military scientists to see if they can bash into smaller pieces.
>Head to militarily friendly section of New-Yoikinium, then travel from there to edge to meet with Lich.
>Discuss plan.
((That was for how she phrased it, not whether or not she had intelligence.))
(6+3) THE MILITARY GUARDS IT WELL. (1+3) THEY FIND THAT BY BOMBARDING IT WITH CRT MONITORS, IT MAY LOSE POWER.
Oh for - idea.
Create a replica universe, then destroy it. That counts on my forms.
(2+1) YOU MAKE A REPLICA OF A SPORE UNIVERSE AND DESTROY IT. IT'S NOT AS IMPRESSIVE AS YOU'D HOPED.
"The omnicidalist? That's Xantalos. I think he wasn't hugged enough as a child. Maybe we should all hug him, that might help.
"Anyways...um, what should we diplomatize about?"
Keep one core focused on the conversation and have the rest of me research Haste.
AID VORTHON'S ACTION.
(3+2) +2 GIVEN.
>FLY BACK TOWARDS MILKY WAY GALAXY, HEADING FOR EARTH
>ATTEMPT TO GET SIGNAL ON MOBILE PHONE, CALL GREENSTAR
>ALSO BEFORE LEAVING ENSURE DRINKS FRIDGE IS WELL-STOCKED[/sub]
(2+3) EARTH GOT!
LICHETTE:
"So then, Misko. What would you reccomend for us to do."
NPCs:
Tim sighs, then surveys the area.
"It's too damn hard to see who's good and who's bad.
SWAGGOTS:
Learn to swag and then be the boss Of swag. (co-alligned with the romantics)
Romantics:
Leader: Lichette +3
Lieutenant: Dirg +2,
Legions:
The Kitten Collective shall join the Time lords. Due to agreeing with 'good for the sake of good'. Also, we shall coalesce into a humanoid form. For convenience. And we shall attempt to halt the presidential debates in an attempt to weaken Misko.
The Kitten Collective recently rescinded its alliance with the Time Lords due to insanity on the part of the (Former) Doctor.
The Kitten Collective shall side with the Lichette due to her desire to create an everlasting world of beauty and creation.
((@Miauw62: You're not alone, dude. He missed me as well.))
Cross the male lich with Taveros (I want his horns too) and you have me. The lich's subconscious (unofficially).
Also I will Liberaly kick you ass.
Question, can I have my sword? The one I crafted, and the golem took?
And I'm Liberal.
I THINK SPINAL_TAPER IS GONNA TAKE A FEW WEEKS TO ROLL ALL THE ACTIONS.
Keep talking Miskos, for it shall make it all the easier to reach down your throat and yank out the sad remains of your heart.
SHE SLITHERS INTO PLACE, AND JOINS THE ROMANTICS, SALUTING LICHETTE WITH HER TITANIUM SCYTHE!
Paladins:
Leader: Misko +2
Lieutenant: TO BE DETERMINED
Legions:
So, we all agree that both slashfic and misko need to die?
Agreed. The collective rescinds it previous alliance with the Doctor due to his descent into madness. We also propose the formation of a temporary alliance to combat this menace.
We shall call it Those Who Oppose Crazy Shit, or TWOCS for short.
This one shall join this alliance if only to speed up annihilation. Slashfics are the spawn of creation and they inspire more creation. They must be annihilated.
Lichette means to create an everlasting world of beauty and creation. Join us. (Conservative/Eldritch) We oppose lichette and therefore the very act of creation itself. With you at our side, none can stand against us!
Eldritch creature makes good point. Rescinding TWOCS alliance, this one joins Conservative. On the condition that the democrats are handed over to this one.
Oh fine....
MY FINAL FORM SHALL BE.....DWARF FORTRESS 1.0 (!!!!!!)
Oh and on the Conservative side, because its the dickish thing to do at this point.
STOP SUPPORTING THE LICHETTE, SHE IS EVIL.
Final Form: Demonic Werewolf.
There is no good. There is no evil, there is only the strong, and the weak. There is only power, and those too weak to sieze it. There is no love, there is only anger. There is no joy, there is only sorrow. There is no hope, there is only hate. All the talk of order, peace, and beauty is merely madmen scrabbling desprately to avoid the truth: That we are the cruel ones, the destroyers of life. We meddle in things we don't understand, for the sake of those not yet born, and for what? Nothing but petty squabbles over dogma. The Madness must end!
His endless chatter grates upon my nerves. I have grown tired of this game.
Annihilate Misko. If successful, join Xantalos. If fails, stay on the Liberal team.
Form: I am all. I am that which lies beyond the horizon; that which collapses the ground underneath you, the ones who wait beyond the veil. I lie in the recesses of sentience's souls; I am the voice in the back of your mind urging you to steal, to hurt, to kill. I rot trees and crumble mountains. I consume stars with my passing; I warp existence by existing. I am the threads that bind your shells together, the one that watches and waits for the time of destruction to arrive. And now it has. I sally forth, and my very presence is anathema to your being. I have seen universes come and go, and this one will not last. Whatever you do, whoever you pray to, if I am not them, they will submit or cease to exist. I am your doom. I am all. I. Am. Xantalos.
Faction: I serve none; I come to destroy the love inherent in the corpse-bitch, and then her - no more. Ally with me as you see fit - it will not change the result.
TWOCS
THE DRUNKEN FOOLS
YOINK, THE DESTINED/DRUNKEN ONE +2
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON
BUT I AM NOT IN ANY OF THE 100+ LISTS OF PLAYERS/FACTIONS 
CO-PILOT SIDECAR.
BY DOING SO, JOIN DRUNKEN FOOLS TEAM.
CO-CO-PILOT SIDECAR. ALSO JOIN DRUNKEN FOOLS I GUESS.
(i still have no idea whats going on, i cant be arsed to read 3 pages filled with ranting.)
THE MODERATES:
Leader: GreatWyrm +2
I am: A giant dragon-robot with lots of neat weapons and powerful magic. Also the pope of the reformed Miskopalian church.
I am a Moderate.
I will convince the lichette and Dirg to get married in the Miskopalian church I set up at Aperture Science.
Corai:
Join moderates.
"The sheer amount of insanity is insane."
Begin research on dark tombs that teach one how to forcefully change another person's form into a lich.
OMNICIDALISTS:
XANTALOS: LEADER: +1
Lord Slowpoke
WESTSEEIIDE!!:
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Topic: HERO CIVIL WAR (YOU AT FINAL BOSS PART 2): Dat Countdown: (.5) (Read 656338 times)