Suddenly, the first to come out, the ethereal Misko, opens its mouth, which drips and morphs like tar, slowly opens, and it begins to speak. IT NEVER SHUTS UP. The long winded rant continues for so long a time, many of its comrades turn tail, and back up Lichette and Dirg.
I lol'd. With 'Trololo' in the backround, I lol'd. I can't breathe. Good god, this is great.
Immobilize Dirg!
(4vs2+2) HANSLANDA LEAPS AT DIRG, INTENDING TO IMMOBILIZE HIM WITH A GREAT BIG HUG. HOWEVER, DIRG SUDDENLY MOVES FASTER THAN HE EVER HAD BEFORE, AND STRIKES HANSLANDA IN THE EYE WITH A MOVE BORROWED FROM THE STOOGES! HANSLANDA IS DISTRACTED, AND HIS ATTACK MISSES.
ATTACK TARDIS AND CLAIM TARDIS FOR LICHETTE.
///
I vote this song be played in background whenever Misko attacks someone.
(5v6) CORAI AND BUKKIT STAND IN THE CENTER OF THE TARDIS, BOTH OF THEM EXAUSTED BY THEIR BATTLE. THE KOBOLD BRINGS A SMALL DAGGER AT THE TIME LORD, WHICH IS PARRIED, AND COUNTERED WITH A WEAK BLOW TO THE CHEST. CORAI FALLS BACKWARDS ONTO SOME MACHINERY, WHILE BUKKIT SIMPLY FALLS. ONTO THE SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON. WELL, THAT'S ONE WAY TO PROTECT THE TARDIS FROM CORAI.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BUT
>REMOVE MISKO'S +3 BONUS VIA DISTRACTINGLY SEXY DANCING
(2vs1+3) YOU WINK AT A MONSTROSITY COMPOSED OF HUMANITIES SINS, AND GYRATE YOUR HIPS. IT INCINERATES YOU WITH THE RAGE OF THE OPPRESSED.
TAKE STEVE FORM, HOPEFULLY WIELDING MAH SWORD FROM BEFORE.
TAKE A FLYING LEAP TOWARDS MISKO AND...
HELP YOINK DISTRACT WITH SEXY.
(2+2)LICHETTE HANDS YOU THE BLADE, AND YOU TAKE THE FORM OF STEVE. (4vs5+3) THEN, JOINING YOINK IN TRYING TO SEDUCE THE CONCENTRATED RAGE OF ALL OF HUMANITY, YOU DO A CUTE LITTLE BUTT BUMP WITH HIM, BEFORE FREEZING SOLID IN THE COLD EMOTION OF HISTORYS PSYCHOPATHS.
USE STATUS AS DWARF FORTRESS 1.0 TO MONOPOLIZE ALL ROMANTICS FREE TIME, REMOVING THEIR ACTIONS.
(1) YOU ARE A BADLY WRITTEN TROJAN WHICH SPEEDS UP THE VICTIMS COMPUTER.
"I wonder Miskos, do you even hear yourself talk, or have your ears long since given up. Perhaps your mind has long since faded away after going mad from being stuck alone with your thoughts for so long, and the waste that spews forth from your mouth like a ruptured septic tank, it's last words it uttered before finally hitting the bottom of the spiral staircase of insanity." RUSH MISKO27 AND GO FOR AN UPPERCUT
(2+2vs4+3)DIRG DECIDES TO RUSH THE MOST POWERFUL ENEMY FORCE, DESPITE BEING NOT REALLY ALL THAT POWERFUL. HE LEAPS INTO THE SKY, AND PROMPTLY IS LAUNCHED BACK BY UNHOLY FORCE, BUT (4+3) LICHETTE CATCHES HIM, LOOKING WORRIED.
...
.......
COME INTO EXISTENCE
...
...
ALL WILL EMBRACE ANNIHILATION
...
....
THE DEFECTED DEMOCRAT SHALL AWAKE ONCE MORE FROM HIS ETERNAL SLUMBER
...
(5) YOU EXIST NOW. CONGRATS. (2) UNFORTUNATLY, PEOPLE DON'T EXACTLY LIKE BEING DESTROYED, SO THEY SIC AN ARMY OF ICE CREAM GOLEMS ONTO YOU, RIPPING YOU TO SHREDS.
THE CHAOTIC NEUTRAL LORDSLOWPOKE HAS COME!
A GIANT WINGED CRYSTAL TURTLE. ITS SHELL MENACES WITH SPIKES OF GOAT BONE AND IS ADORNED WITH MASTERWORK RUNES BY AN UNKNOWN ARTISAN. BEWARE ITS NOXIOUS LICK!
DEPLOY TACTICAL COMBAT THEME
SUMMON BARD DEMON ARMY
(5) A DEMON ARMY OF BARDS APPEAR, WIELDING MICROPHONES, FENDERS AND LAPTOPS!
May i remind you that I am the god of Life and Love, who can take the form of Steve(?), Arceus, OR Rambo, and I'm married to a Death Incarnate, who previously looked like the lich, but now looks like...Chuck Norris, I think. Our family pet is a Crocodile that looks like Mr. T, and I am the only one, besides the Golem, that can wield the Sword of Destiny.
I AM THE CONTROLLER OF LIFE, LOVE, AND HUMANITY.
HA! YOU CONTROL LIFE, BUT NOT SENTIENCE. I CONTROL HUMANITY, NAY, I AM HUMANITY. I AM THE SUM OF THEIR HATE, THEIR GRIEF, THEIR MALICE. I RULE ALL EARTH, AND AM A GOD INCARNATE. I AM A AVATAR OF MADNESS.
I AM THE END ALL BE ALL. I AM THE MIDDLE. I AM ALL OF HUMANITY. I AM A GOD. I LEAD THE ARMIES OF EARTH AND HELL THEMSELVES.
If you are a god of humanity, and also the arch-conservative, what does that make Democrats?
Aliens, obviously. WAIT NO LIZARD PEOPLE. Yeah, thats actually a thing you know? People think all major figure in history were lizard people.
What about kids of Republicans who grow up and decide to be Democrats?
Intermarriage. thats what obama is. Half human, half lizard man. They inject themselves obviously.
This may be the most insane argument I have participated in...
How about moderates, where do they fall? And what about Democratic children of two Republican parents?
Moderates are those who are infected, but have some resistance. Democratic children? They are accepted into the collective, and their anus is used to store eggs.
A moment ago, you said Democrats were lizard people and/or aliens...
You're talking to the god of humanity. Does humanity make sense?
Humanity at least tries to keep its story straight.
No it dosen't.
My stroy is Straaight. Why can't lizard people from space have collectives and lay eggs in anuses?
Democrats cannot be alien lizard people and humans who have eggs laid in them.
PREPARE WEDDING FOR DIRG AND LICHETTE IN MISKOPALIAN CHAPEL.
(4) A WEDDING IS PREPARED! THERE'S CAKE, AND RICE, AND AGGRAVATING IN-LAWS!
I have an idea!
DEPLOY LIGHTSABER TEETH
*ksiiiaw*
(5) LIGHTSABERS SLIDE FROM YOUR MOUTH!
BOSS TURNS:
PALADIN:
TAKE STEVE FORM, HOPEFULLY WIELDING MAH SWORD FROM BEFORE.
TAKE A FLYING LEAP TOWARDS MISKO AND...
HELP YOINK DISTRACT WITH SEXY.
Holy shit weird. I'm, straight, so that isn't, particularly effective. On that lovely note:
BREAK THE OPPONENTS MORALE, ARTILLERY THEIR POSITION WITH ION CANNONS.
(5+3vs6+3)
WITH A MIGHTY ROAR, YOU OPEN FIRE ON YOUR FOES, LAUNCHING ION BEAMS AT THEM, BUT THE LICHETTE DEFLECTS THEM WITH A MAGICAL SHIELD, THEN TURNS BACK TO CARE FOR DIRG.
ROMANTIC:
(4+3) Lichette crouches down next to Dirg, and places her hands onto his chest. The energy from around them courses into him, restoring him to health. His eyes flutter open, and she slaps him.
"Dirg... I love you, so don't be stupid."
COMMENTARY
Jesus Dirg. Also, what's with all the people on the paladin side? I'm just curious why you're all on the "evil" side.
Romantics:
Leader: Lichette +3
Lieutenant: Dirg +2
Legions:
Cross the male lich with Taveros (I want his horns too) and you have me. The lich's subconscious (unofficially).
Also I will Liberaly kick you ass.
Question, can I have my sword? The one I crafted, and the golem took?
And I'm Liberal.
I am: A giant dragon-robot with lots of neat weapons and powerful magic. Also the pope of the reformed Miskopalian church.
I am a Moderate.
I will convince the lichette and Dirg to get married in the Miskopalian church I set up at Aperture Science.
I THINK SPINAL_TAPER IS GONNA TAKE A FEW WEEKS TO ROLL ALL THE ACTIONS.
Keep talking Miskos, for it shall make it all the easier to reach down your throat and yank out the sad remains of your heart.
Final Form: Demonic Werewolf.
There is no good. There is no evil, there is only the strong, and the weak. There is only power, and those too weak to sieze it. There is no love, there is only anger. There is no joy, there is only sorrow. There is no hope, there is only hate. All the talk of order, peace, and beauty is merely madmen scrabbling desprately to avoid the truth: That we are the cruel ones, the destroyers of life. We meddle in things we don't understand, for the sake of those not yet born, and for what? Nothing but petty squabbles over dogma. The Madness must end!
Arch-Conservative, but opposed to that child Misko.
Paladins:
Leader: Misko +3
Lieutenant: Xantalos +2
Legions:
Oh fine....
MY FINAL FORM SHALL BE.....DWARF FORTRESS 1.0 (!!!!!!)
Oh and on the Conservative side, because its the dickish thing to do at this point.
STOP SUPPORTING THE LICHETTE, SHE IS EVIL.
Form: I am all. I am that which lies beyond the horizon; that which collapses the ground underneath you, the ones who wait beyond the veil. I lie in the recesses of sentience's souls; I am the voice in the back of your mind urging you to steal, to hurt, to kill. I rot trees and crumble mountains. I consume stars with my passing; I warp existence by existing. I am the threads that bind your shells together, the one that watches and waits for the time of destruction to arrive. And now it has. I sally forth, and my very presence is anathema to your being. I have seen universes come and go, and this one will not last. Whatever you do, whoever you pray to, if I am not them, they will submit or cease to exist. I am your doom. I am all. I. Am. Xantalos.
Faction: I serve none; I come to destroy the love inherent in the corpse-bitch, and then her - no more. Ally with me as you see fit - it will not change the result.
His endless chatter grates upon my nerves. I have grown tired of this game.
Annihilate Misko. If successful, join Xantalos. If fails, stay on the Liberal team.
TIME LORDS:
Last:bukkitdinos
Know what?
Fuck the corpse bitch, and fuck trying to calm misko.
FACTION:THE MOTHERFUCKING TIMELORDS
we do good for the sake of doing good. we follow no law. we will steal to feed a poor man, we will kill a cruel king.
TIMELORDS FUCK YES
>TO THE TARDIS BEFORE HE CAN HIT ME
SOME OTHER BLOKES
I have an idea!
DEPLOY LIGHTSABER TEETH
*ksiiiaw*
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Topic: HERO CIVIL WAR (YOU AT FINAL BOSS PART 2): Dat Countdown: (.5) (Read 648826 times)