Call upon the fires of the pit to roast the forces of good, or if they are close pup their heads in my claws
(2) EITHER THE FIRES OF THE PIT LOOK LIKE THE INNARDS OF A CANDY STORE, OR YOU CASTED SOMETHING WRONG.
PEANUT PINEAPPLE POWERS ACTIVATE
AM FORCES OF JUSTICE
(5) WITH MIGHTY ROAR, YOU ABSORB ENERGY OF
HOPE VARIOUS LEGUMES AND FRUITS. PRODUCE MAN, AWAY!
HOLY WATER THROW TIME
(1) WITH A BATTLE CRY, YOU HURL THR HOLY WATER AT BOSS. OOPS. FORGOT FLASK. WELL, FLOOR IS NOW WET.
EAT BOSS
(2)TAKE BIG BITE OUT OF BOSS. OOPS. HE IS GHOST. ECTOPLASM AND DARK MAGIC TASTES VAGUELY BAD.
FALL FROM SKY AND STAB FINALL BOSS
SNEAK ATTACK
(4)FALLING FROM SKY, ENCHANTED SWORD HITS BOSS IN LEFT PINKY. HE GLANCES AT YOU. THEN, YOU FLY BACKWARDS.
FIRE MAGIC! FIREBALL!
(2)YOU BRING FORTH MAGIC IN VEINS. MAGIC COMES OUT AS TUBS OF ICE CREAM. NOW HAVE ICE CREAM AND TOPPINGS!
EAT SPINACH
ACQUIRE IRON
(6) EAT SPINACH. VAGUELY GROSS. MASSIVE MUSCLES BEGIN GROWING ON FOREARMS. DON'T STOP GROWING. BURST THROUGH SKIN. NOW HAVE NO SKIN, ONLY MUSCLES.
BURN DESTROY THE LICH AND HIS PARTY
(6) YOU INSULT LICHS MOTHER. OH BURN. (6) OH NO! HE HAS WITTY COMEBACK!
SUMMON BIGGER LICH
(2) MUSCLES STRAIN, MAGIC COMES. YOU CALL OUT TO BLACK LICORICE. OH, WHAT? A LICH? SORRY. WELL, NOW WE HAVE ICE CREAM, TOPPINGS, AND DISGUSTING TOPPING.
I TURN INTO RAMBO AND CHAAAARGE!!1!1!
BWAAAAAAAARGH
(3)TAKING SHAPE OF AMERICAN ACTION HERO, YOU BEGIN CHARGE!!1!1!1! YOU MAKE IT 7 FEET, BEFORE SLIPPING IN A PUDDLE OF WATER. IT HEALS YOUR WOUND THOUGH, SO IT'S NOT TOO BAD.
BECOME SPIRIT LORD AND HAUNT THE HEROS SPIRITS
(1) WE'RE SORRY, THE REINCARNATION BEUREU IS NOT OPEN ON SUNDAYS. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.
Finish casting the Four Horsemen, and send them to my allies! I shall receive Plague. The best fighter-type will receive War. Our Lich Lord shall receive Death. Give the other guy Famine. With their powers, we shall be unstoppable! Oh, and if it somehow back-fires, absorb any and all negative effects into me, and me only.
(6)FOUR HORSEMEN SUMMONED. LICH ABSORBS DEATH, IS NOW GOD. WOLFCHILD ABSORBS WAR, IS NOW DEMON OF WAR. YOU ABSORB PLAGUE, ARE NOW HARBINGER OF SICKNESS. FAMINE JUST PLAYS SOLITAIRE. FINAL BOSS MOUNTAIN IS BECOMING UNSTABLE. BOSSES RITUAL TO BECOME A GOD COLLAPSES. OH WELL.
FALL FROM SKY STEAL SUPER SWORD BE TRUE FINAL BONUS BOSS!
(2) YOU FALL FROM SKY, ATTEMPT TO TAKE SWORD OF DAMNATION AND , BUT ONLY MANAGE TO STAB YOURSELF. LUCKILY, YOU ARE NOW BELOW GOD OF DEATHS NOTICE. TAKE THAT AS YOU WILL.
"DONT WORRY I'M FINE"
PROCEED WITH BOSS-BADDIE-BEATDOWN
EYECHUCKS FLAVOUR
(3) WITH A KUNG-FU YELL, YOU SMACK WOLFCHILD, DEMLN OF THE COMBAT PITS IN THE FACE WITH YOUR EYECHUCK. YOU FEEL ANGRY.
EQUIP SEEMINGLY USELESS FATHERS SWORD OBTAINED AT START OF GAME. ATTACK LICH WITH IT.
(3) YOU ATTACK LICH WITH FATHERS SWORD. IT HITS HIM LIKE ANY OTHER ENCHANTED SWORD WOULD. IN THE PINKY. YOU ALREADY USED THE FATHERS SWORD TO KILL THE WARLORD BOSS, REMEMBER? IT GOT YOU THAT KICK ASS SPELL?
TELL INCREDIBLY FUNNY JOKE TO LICH. WHILE HE DISTRACTED THROW PIES AT LICH ALLIES FACES.
(4)TAKING INSPIRATION FROM YOUR SURROUNDINGS, YOU COME UP WITH JOKE ON THE SPOT.
"SO, A DEMON AND A LICH GET SOME ICE CREAM. DEMON GETS BLOOD FLAVOURED, LICH GETS SOUL FLAVORED. DEMON LOOKS AT LICHS ICE CREAM AND SAYS "HEY BUDDY, CAN I HAVE A LICK?""
THE LICH GIGGLES EFFEMINATELY AT YOUR PAINFUL PUN. YOU THROW PIE AT HIS COHORTS. IT BLINKS CAERWYN/HAUNTER, THE HARBINGER OF SICKNESS.
BE A SPIRIT.
(5)ERR... CONGRATS, I GUESS.
BOSS TURN:
"Caerwyn, take my blessing, from a god of death! Errus Spectaris Necromon!"
The recently reassembled Haunter soul flies into Caerwyns body, bulking him up and giving him magic! Oh yeah, and a roommate in his brain.
DEMAND RENT MONEY FROM CAERWYN. IF HE REFUSES PROCEED TO CHAINSAW THROUGH WALLS OF CAERWYN'S MIND
(2) CAERWYN GIVES YOU NO MONEY, SO YOU ATTEMPT TO CHAINSAW THROUGH HIS BRAIN. SADLY, HIS BRAIN HAS STEEL WALLS, HAVING BEEN ON THE B12 FORUMS, AND YOUR ATTEMPTS ARE FRUITLESS.
BOSS TURN:
"It is now evident that resurrecting Caerwyn was a fantastic idea. He has given me and my allies power beyond imagining. In fact, he shall be blessed once more! Wayward spirits of this realm, I summon you forth to serve Caerwyn!"
(5) RTD and Tiruin feel themselves being empowered back to their old selves. No, not their old selves, they are more powerful than ever. RTD feels himself becoming bulky and powerful, with black plate armor. Tiruin feels a greater being within him, granting him dark magical abilities and a kick ass wizard robe. Famine, the last horseman, puts down his cards, grants each of them half his strength, then vanishes to the Astral Plane with his brethren, to rejuvenate and stop the players of the other game.
BOSS STATUS
NO PHYSICAL FORM
ENHANCED SWORD OF THE DAMNED
STRENGTH OF DEATH INCARNATE
PINEAPPLE ENERGY
PEANUT ALLERGY
MINIONS
HARBINGER OF PLAGUE CAERWYN/HAUNTER
DEMON OF WAR WOLFCHILD
MNIBOSS SQUAD TIRUIN+RTD
ARENA STATUS
COLLAPSING MOUNTAIN
IS ALSO AN ICE CREAM PARLOR