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[Mephisto]

Watch the trailer.

I received a new Paradox newsletter today. It informed me about a new game I've never heard of. This is what they have to say about it:

Our research tells us that you guys love two things:

#1: Mobas.
#2: Bossing robots around.

So we're thrilled to announce that we can satisfy both #1 and #2 in the form of a beta key for Starvoid! That's our upcoming Sci-Fi/Western RTS/moba, and this key is exclusively for newsletter subscribers.

Here's your beta key!: XXXXX-XXXXX-XXXXX

The key is a steam key, so all you need to do is activate it there. Also register your key under "my games" to gain access to the beta forums!

Now, MOBA-type games don't really interest me and they don't say I can't give away the key, so here we are. If you want the key, post an interesting, amusing, or funny event that happened to you when playing Dwarf Fortress. I'll send out the key 24 hours from the time of this post.

Feel free to discuss the game - I can sift through to find people who want it.

[Baneling]

Probably one of the most sad things that ever happened to me in DF is spending a season wondering why the hell merchants aren't coming then SUDDEN REALIZATION that wagons don't fit through a 1x1 choke point.

I haven't really played the game enough to have interesting stories.

[Simmura McCrea]

A dragon visiting, flattening my well trained military only to be one-shotted by a random fortress guard with a crossbow.

[Shadowgandor]

I once had a dwarf which kept giving messages of being thirsty and hungry and unhappy. I kept looking at him but didn't know why he wasn't going for a drink.
After a while, he threw a tantrum and destroyed the workshop in the room he was in. Apparently, I had trapped him with the workshop.

I'm imagining a dwarf staring at a workbench, twitching and growling while slowly starving until finally, he snaps and smashes the bench, finally releasing him from his prison

[coolio678]

I've heard of this game. Seems pretty cool.

I remember one of my towns (I like building above ground) got over run by goblins, when I ran out of military, and forced my civilians to mob the invaders. They all died. This was after managing to strike the second cavern, and spotting to fbs wandering around in it. I decided to reclaim, because it was the best fort I ever had on that world. Once my dwarfs showed up, I discovered that the goblins that murdered me were still there, chilling around the streets, not doing anything. Weird, I thought. I immediately set my dwarves to collect the previous loot.
     I was surprised when I discovered the giant, flying leech had made it through the wall by the caverns, and was sitting in a pond on the surface. The goblins nearby immediately sprang into action, attemtpting to kill the thing, but all eventually dying. During the battle, another dwarf stumbled upon the giant, one eyed toad was waiting in my mine, like a bad man in a swivel chair, facing a wall. He chased that dwarf around for a while, and more goblin allies arrived at the scene. In a matter of minutes, both beasts had ruined my attempt to reclaim, and most of the goblins, too. I was hilarious to watch them all running.

[Simmura McCrea]

Actually, take me out of the running. I just checked my email's trash to find the mentioned newsletter with a beta key.

[IronyOwl]

Vague as hell. I could swear half the footage was the same scene hacked up into multiple parts. :x


As far as DF goes, let's see now...

I once commanded my medical lead guy to fashion some stone statues to make his office look nicer. Needless to say, he made 3 out of 4 of them rats, which he was terrified of.

[Aklyon]

I've also got a key for this to giveaway, though for lack of a better title (since MOBA counts for basically anything on the sodding internet that isn't open world, multiplayer game-wise.), I'd call it an ABRS like the rest of them.

[Rez]

Let's have a pedantic argument that tends toward being dismissive of the term moba. 

[Aklyon]

Eh, I needed something to say besides 'I also have a key to giveaway'. Seemed too short of a post. You can if you want though

[The Scout]

Yay, free stuff.

A child got locked outside the fort. A angry horde of badgers descended upon him... Only for the resident kobolds to run out and pepper them with steel bolts. Then the child went werebadger and got shot to death. I now keep the kobolds in the basement of my castle.

[Frumple]

AoS is AoS... perhaps this one will be less crap qua AoS, so I'll give throwing in a shot.

As for stories, the only one I can vaguely remember as being humorous is

Spoiler: The Hobbling of the Elk. (click to show/hide)

* Kinda' funny story with that, actually the first time I've come close to being truly horrified by the atrocities I was committing in this game: I had taken one of my hyperspeed fortresses and built a line of 10x green disc weapon traps across a good 3/4ths of the map, walling off the parts that weren't trapped. What would happen is wildlife, horses, elks, and muskox primarily, would wander in and get their hooves hacked off by by the traps. They would promptly fall to the ground and wander around for a while. This would happen to entire herds more or less simultaneously.

The imagery was just horrific, having a mental picture of six or seven animals, limbs chopped off at the ankle, crawling around on the plains, some of them slowly bleeding out from other wounds. Freaking out and fleeing as flash!dwarves ran up to pick up the removed hooves for craftwork. Probably a good couple hundred animals died to those traps, most of them after dragging themselves a pretty considerably distance from the initial trap that crippled 'em, trailing blood and detritus.

On the bright side, it is a mildly effective way to get craft material without having to deal with actually butchering and storing all the parts that comes from a full animal. Every horse that wanders out of the trap without dying is another 12 crafts.

[Rilder]

I got my key from the Newsletter, looks okayish I suppose? Haven't seen to much of it or actually even heard of it till the newsletter.  Doubt I'll play much of it because I just don't like MOBA for a variety of reasons.

[Dariush]

Paradox... selling out to fucking Steam? This world has no hope.

[woose1]

Paradox... selling out to fucking Steam? This world has no hope.

Steam is one of the biggest online provider of digital games and media on the internet. What's wrong with that?

...actually, almost all of paradox's games are on steam. Pardon my french but the fuck are you talking about?