"When did you know it was time to retire?"
Milo Riperight and Kon Bigbathe were fairly deep into a barrel of sunshine and a rock pot of dwarven wine respectively, as they strolled the stone roads of Sobirunol. They were the only humans in residence and spent much of their time together; and anyway their bedrooms were right across the hall from each other in the lofty tower set aside for them and their kind.
Kon Bigbathe took a long pull at his wine crock and gazed a moment over the fields of bubble bulb and feather wood before answering.
"I guess after I killed the dragons. I mean, I had the slab, you know?" All I had to do was read it and I'd have two undead, firebreathing dragons as thralls."
Milo Riperight whistled. "Wow."
"I know! And I'd left a cave full of dead kobolds just a day's march to the east. Like hundreds and hundreds of 'em."
"Wow."
"I know! All I had to do was read the slab and, you know."
"You'd have an army."
"I'd have a fuckin'
army. Undead wight thrall, uh --"
"Zombie," Milo suggested. Clearly, her companion was unaccustomed to dwarven liquor.
"Right, zombie fuckin' army. And, you know, who's gonna stop me?"
"Right."
"You?"
Milo considered it. She'd faced long odds, but nothing like what Kon was proposing.
"And that's when it hit me!" Kon banged his wine crock with one iron gauntlet for emphasis. "When I realized that the world
needs Sobirunol. A place for all the slabs, and the dragon eggs, and all the other scary stuff, all guarded by legendary heroes! The more heroes come here, the more stuff they bring, the safer the world is. So I decided to retire here."
Milo belched mightily, nodded. She looked around at the white stone complex in the beautiful jungle.
"Unless these dwarves actually only want all the wealth and power in the world."
Kon nodded. "In which case we've just handed it to them."
The two humans regarded each other suspiciously, then laughed.
***
ACHIEVEMENTS
Kon's room is in the Human Tower, second floor, first door on right, across from Milo's. Feel free to check out a book from his extensive and hilarious library! The pink volume on the table is particularly recommended.
In the dwarves' underground garden, against the east wall, lies Kashi's body in a half circle of large gems. Feel free to add stones of your own when paying your respects.
Kon's donations to the Exhibition Hall were two more dragon eggs and one oh so heavy slab with the secrets of life and death on it.
Kon's legendary skills were Swordsmanship, Fighting, Armor Using, and Observing.
Kon fully explored Decentwheels, a necromancer's tower, as well as a couple of caves with passages to the underworld.
Kon never read the slab.
Thanks, this was really fun and my best Adventurer ever
SAVE:
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