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In what manner shall death be dealt with?

One death is it! Afterwards, either upload the save or build a fortress for future adventurers.
- 2 (16.7%)
Everyone shall have two goes at it! If you die once, you can start fresh with a new adventurer. Die twice, and you're done - upload the save.
- 5 (41.7%)
As many tries as you like; so long as you stick to the one-week limit, you may start as many new adventurers as it takes.
- 3 (25%)
Save scumming is fine. However many tries it takes to get your chosen hero to her/his destination.
- 2 (16.7%)

Total Members Voted: 12

Voting closed: August 02, 2012, 07:17:16 pm


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Author Topic: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home  (Read 22041 times)

Hanslanda

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #135 on: October 06, 2012, 11:11:07 pm »

Lol at first I thought you were storing arrows in your snapping turtle neck. That would be silly.
I think you have something in your teeth though.


I may save that and make that my item I put into the Retirement home. Then again, the miasma would be a bit putting.

More here in a moment, on this post. :)
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

hops

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #136 on: October 06, 2012, 11:13:46 pm »

Do necks turn into bones?
You could cremate it.
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Hanslanda

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #137 on: October 06, 2012, 11:34:25 pm »

I lied, I'm putting the update here. And I don't think necks make bones. We'll see. If nothing else, I can put the copper spear in there, because I'm never upgrading. Copper spears are boss.

---

Whoa, where was I? I got to staring at this turtle neck... Oh, right, I'm about to kill this dude. Chick. Old lady? Wierd. Anyway, I see she's got a silver bolt sticking out of her, oozing a bit of blood, so before I got distracted, I must have injured her. Odd how she never thought to go searching for whoever threw arrows at her, but I'm not going to question my good luck too deeply.

I move closer to her, wary of her deadly crossbow. As I inch closer, she takes the crossbow bolt in a firm grip, and with a grimace, yanks it out of her leg. A fresh spurt of blood spatters out, and she yelps in pain. Only a couple feet behind her, I raise my spear...
Once more, I step on an infernal twig. In the Great Desert, there are no twigs to step on. She spins faster than I can believe, and let's loose a wild shot with her crossbow. It misses me completely, and I stab at her. My spear bounces off her shoulder, and plunges into the side of her neck, just missing her arteries, but tearing tendons and gouging the flesh.
I withdraw my spear, and stab at her arm this time. Once more, I easily snap the bone, and she passes out from the pain. I stand over her prone, unconscious form, and raise my spear... Except...
I can't kill an unconscious, injured woman. That would just be wrong. The Spirit Cactus says so. Goddamn Spirit Cactus.

So I creep into the bushes, and wait for her to awaken. She rouses slowly, then suddenly sits bolt upright, her eyes slitted dangerously. I dash out of my concealment, and as she raises the crossbow, I kick her solidly in the wrist. The bones shatter with a sickening crunch, and she drops the crossbow and lapses back into unconsciousness.
Shit.

Not sure what to do now, I decide that perhaps the Spirit Cactus is just being unnecessarily cruel, because to leave a crippled, injured, bleeding woman deep in these forests alone and without a weapon would be just as sure a death sentence as a quick and merciful spear stroke would be.
This dark deed done, I search through her pockets, finding nothing of real value. Disappointed, both in the lack of goodies, and in my reprehensible behavior, I begin my trek back to town.

---
OOC- I kind of want this guy to have a little bit of honor about this sort of thing. So, maybe in the future, I may not kill some women bandits because they could still use a weapon when they woke up. I'm not sure. Give me some feedback on this idea, while I keep playing for now.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

hops

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #138 on: October 06, 2012, 11:38:49 pm »

Won't that be a bit sexist? Not to mention in Dwarf Fortress it seems women are even more dangerous than men.
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Hanslanda

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #139 on: October 06, 2012, 11:53:20 pm »

Won't that be a bit sexist? Not to mention in Dwarf Fortress it seems women are even more dangerous than men.


Yes. It's not my morals, its the morals of a fictional character I am portraying. :P And consider it a self imposed challenge it you will. I'll still flat out kill them in combat, but if they pass out and they're the last one, I'll leave them alone. As long as their injuries aren't severe enough that they'd die shortly anyway. Must be able to use their weapon and walk would be a criteria.

---

Now I stand at the edge of a river. I had returned to town, to spread news of my glorious victory over the reprehensible bandits. Curiously I entered the same hut I'd first found. Inside was the same man, and group of people, all sitting in the same spots. These people are as sedentary as the Nacirema people. I ask the man, "Would you like to hear news of my exploits?"
He looks at me, then down at my pants, covered in blood. "At least you're wearing pants this time. Weirdo. Sure, hit me with your best shot."
I consider hitting him in the face, but then decide he was employing a verbal jab to rouse my anger. I say, "I have defeated the bandits south of here that you sent me to defeat. What glories would you bestow on me?"
He chuckled at me, "Wow, I didn't think you'd actually do that. That was just a hunter I knew. I owed her money. Way to go, you psycho."
Undeterred, I ask him, "Where else might I find glory in this place?"
"Eh, I don't know. There's necromancers and a shrine to a titan nearby. Go check them out." The man waved me off, and went back to staring vacantly into space.
Curious, and ugly people, these folks are.
Now we have come full circle, to my standing at the banks of a mighty river.
I dive in, and take a drink of the sweet, crisp water to sate my growing thirst. I start paddling across easily, having learned how to swim long ago. Halfway across, something brushes my foot...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


OMIGOD IT'S A FRAKKING SHARKKILLITKILLIT!

I scrambled out defensively backed out of the water, my weapons ready and my eyes alert to any disturbances in the water that might signal the return of the monstrous, armored beast that had attacked me. Nothing. Shaken but undeterred, I continue on to the shrine.
As the hunger grows in my belly, I come upon the shrine, hidden within the tangled undergrowth. I skulk forward, hoping to get a good look at this 'titan'.

---
Sigh.
---
After much searching, and finally some frustrated shouting and insulting gestures, I discover that no titan inhabits this place. Many skeletons litter the ground, but they are long since dead. Still, I find a nicely made iron breastplate to put on, even if I didn't get to fight a mighty beast. I decide that perhaps I should inspect this 'necromancer's tower instead. Perhaps it is more than just fanciful wives' tales.

---
Dear god, I'm an idiot.
---
Goddamn Spirit Cactus lied to me again! They weren't necromancers, they were old abandoned goblin fortresses! Completely inaccessible! Now I'm trapped out here in the middle of nowhere, and it's raining ice cold rain, and I have no idea where I am and...
Oh. Gods. Oh no.
I heard laughing. Cackling.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2012, 12:37:21 am by Hanslanda »
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Aseaheru

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #140 on: October 07, 2012, 05:23:13 pm »

oops...
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NAV

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #141 on: October 07, 2012, 05:31:23 pm »

What did you do Aseaheru ?!
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

hops

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #142 on: October 07, 2012, 06:01:32 pm »

Bogeymen, the bane of adventurers.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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Aseaheru

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #143 on: October 08, 2012, 09:55:52 am »

i noticed the men of boogers...
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Hanslanda

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #144 on: October 08, 2012, 10:36:36 am »

Bogeymen, the bane of adventurers.


Yeah. I realized too late that it was goblin fortresses on my map, not necro towers. Not playing in a long time for the win. >.< Then once I realized there was no way I'd be able to get back to town with the time of the day left.

Dear god. Why was I so slow? How come there's always twenty of them? Urk. Build fortress, make another adventurer, or post save?
« Last Edit: October 09, 2012, 11:16:11 pm by Hanslanda »
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

melkorp

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #145 on: October 10, 2012, 09:44:33 am »

Another!  Start with some clothes this time maybe.
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

Hanslanda

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #146 on: October 10, 2012, 09:45:11 am »

To adventure! And pants!

---
Take two.
---
I am Enure Quicolari, an Elf of the far northwest. I have come to this place because of the many logging camps, brutally murdering the treefriends of this area. Lightly outfitted, but well trained, I have come to this stinking human town to ask about logging camps.
The humans give me dark looks and hateful glares, but I ignore them, focussing on finding out the whereabouts of some of these camps. Finally, I find a man that takes elvish coin, and he points me to the south, to the crux of two rivers beside the road.
When I get there, I see that the camp is not undefended.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Besides the four lumberjacks, who pick up crude cudgels, there is a master hunter, and a spearman. Perhaps another human, lurking behind one of the frightened trees. Ah, yes, a swordsman, wielding a huge claymore, larger than I am tall. No matter. I shall destroy them all.
I brutalize their leader, my spear flashing a dozen times before he can move to defend himself. They are strong, and tough, but I am fast. The leader expires under the barrage of thrusts, and I snatch up his arrows, stabbing the lumberjack that was closest in the knee with it. He screamed in pain as he tumbled over, and I dashed past him. A swift stab at the swordsman broke his ankle, shattering the bones.
I kept running, and rounded around a tree, right into a towering lumberjack. My spear flickered out, faster than the human could react, and broke his wrist. I frowned as I shattered his skull with the butt of my spear. Perhaps I should acquire a metal spear at the next oppurtunity.
Another human lumbered up, appearing painfully slow to me. I dodged his clumsy attack, and snapped my delicate fist into his face, bruising it, and confusing him. Then I jabbed him in the ribs with my spear, and I felt something give under the force of the blow. He wheezed, and stumbled back, and I circled him, my spear jabbing again. This time I caught him in the back of the head, and his neck cracked as his head snapped forward. Suddenly, he wasn't breathing, and a panicked look had spread across his face.
The last two lumberjacks shared a look, then looked at the man with the pike. He advanced first, obviously nervous. I smiled at them, disarmingly, then threw another arrow. It plunged deep into the pikeman's chest. He gasped, and dropped his pike as his hands wrapped around the shaft of the arrow. Another arrow whipped out, and snapped the head of one lumberjack back, sticking into his eye. He fell dead.
The other lumberjack started to run, leaving behind his dying and dead companions. I chased him down, and broke his legs so he couldn't escape, then went back and finished off the wounded.
Then I dined on the foul lumberjack.
The forests do not appreciate logging.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2012, 10:16:46 am by Hanslanda »
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Manze

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #147 on: October 17, 2012, 11:22:24 am »

Hans, it's been a week sincewe last heard from you. Are you still playing through?
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hops

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #148 on: October 17, 2012, 01:33:16 pm »

Last I heard Hanslanda is in jail or something.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

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MrWillsauce

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Re: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home
« Reply #149 on: October 17, 2012, 01:38:36 pm »

Last I heard Hanslanda is in jail or something.
No I think they let him go (or something).
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