Sorry it took me so long. I'm playing right now.
I am Adil Ozizobsha. An outsider, from the lands far across the Great Sea. I came to this land to seek great fortune, as the Spirit Cactus has told me to do. I find myself, disoriented, tired, hungry, thirsty, and lost, at the doorstep of a strange building. With nothing else to do, and with my people having customs of hospitality, I enter, finding myself in a room full of... Hideous people. Yellow hair, and cinnamon skin, they range from incredibly fat to quite skinny. Most of their heads are covered with greasy, matted hair, the filth disguising the bland yellow.
I ask the one closest to the door where I am, and he replies, "Where are you pants?"
I just now realized I'm naked. Goddamn Spirit Cactus. I reply, "In my lands, we do not wear these... 'Pants'. Where am I? Where may I find adventure?"
The fellow shrugs, somewhat disconcerted, and says, "South of here, there's a bandit crossbowman. If you want to go kill her, that'd be swell I guess."
I nod, and storm out of the town. I quickly forget I'm not wearing pants as I eat some more Spirit Cactus.
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OOC- I looked at the map, and I can see four bandit camps, a shrine, and a necromancer tower. This world is frakking awesome.
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Edit + Update
I come out of my daze, knee deep in ice cold water, my jaws firmly clamped onto the neck of bleeding snapping turtle. It's sagging weakly against my grip, obviously unconscious. I shake it, viciously, still somewhat drugged, and it's flesh seperates like wet papyrus, it's ruined body splashing back into the water...
For a moment, I'm somewhat stunned. That, and I was busy watching it's soul beg me for mercy. Before I can pray to the gods to show the poor dead thing's soul some mercy, I lapse back into the fog of the Spirit Cactus.
I awaken in the midst of a camp. To my north, a man sits in the shade of a tree, polishing his bronze crossbow. To my south, another man is idly puffing on a small corncob pipe, a whip hanging from a loop on his belt. I realized that I was close to achieving my goal, of killing the crossbowman threatening the peace of the small town I had discovered. I am hidden in the underbrush, quite well, actually. So I plan my next move carefully...
I sneak up behind the crossbowman, and rummage in a bag on the ground. Socks, leather armor, and some coins. I put on the socks and armor, and creep even closer to the bandit. As I get close, a twig snaps beneath my socked foot, and the man jumps up, his crossbow point square at my chest! It fires with a vicious click, and the silver bolt springs out at me. Without even thinking, I dodge it easily, and dash the few feet to the man. I stab him in the leg with my spear, and he falls to the ground, bleeding and cussing.
I stab at him again, with my dagger this time, and it tangles hopelessly in his robe as he squirms out of the way of the blow. I yank my spear out of his leg, causing more blood to spurt out, and I stab him in the right hand as he tries to bring his crossbow to bear again. The wide, leaf-bladed spear easily severs his hand, and the hand flies off a short distance from the force of it. He cries out, and his friend starts running at us. The crossbowman rolls, trying to get away from me, and I stab him in the head. The blow lands badly, instead of piercing his brain, it slides off the skull, plunging into his neck next to his spine.
He stops rolling though, and starts flopping like a beached fish. The other man is getting closer now, so I turn to face him, my spear at the ready. I move closer to the man with the whip, cautiously. We circle each other, gauging strengths and weaknesses, then we lunge at each other, weapons leading. I miss him, as he sidesteps my thrust. His whip lashes across my leg, leaving a nasty welt and a bruise all the way to the bone.
I stab at him again, and wing his upper right arm, breaking the bone quite easily even with a glancing blow. As he reels, I step around him, and lock my arm firmly across his throat. I squeeze tightly, and he struggles against me, but I'm too close for his whip to do any good. His struggles slowly start getting weaker and slower, until he slumps into unconsciousness.
I keep squeezing.
Once the man has stopped breathing forever, I take stock of my surroundings. To my surprise, the paralyzed man had managed to crawl almost fifty feet from where I'd left him before he'd suffocated. I scavenged enough clothing off the two of them to cover my nakedness, and also a quiver of bolts, that I could throw in the traditional style of my desert people. I'm quite exhausted, but I know I should return to town before night comes, or the Dark Ones may take me.
First, I stop at a murky pond to eat some more Spirit Cactus and soulgaze myself. My extremely long, cinnamon hair complements my copper skin quite nicely. I've never been tall, but my well-defined, muscular physique is enough to make up any reach advantages someone may have on me. My face is generally wide-set and splayed, with narrow ears and dense eyebrows. My raw umber eyes are quite piercing as well... Before long, I lose myself in my own features, as the Spirit Cactus takes me over.
I awaken to the sound of a voice... "You will remember the Sweet Dawns when we're done with you!" I look around, and see two very dangerous looking archers hidden in the trees. Strangely, they seem not to notice me, but I dive into a pond and skulk out the other side carefully. Hiding quite proficiently, I sneak up to observe the tableau unfolding before me. The archers are firing at one another.
The first archer kills the second, who tries to run away when he realizes how outclassed he is. I sneak up, to discover the slain archer was wearing three overlapping suits of mail. Impressed, and concerned, I steal the mail quickly, the turn my attention to the other archer. I creep close, and begin throwing arrows at him, my mouth twisting strangely...
Wait.
Goddamn Spirit Cactus!
Will continue later. This post is long enough as is.
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Topic: [Succession] Adventurer's Retirement Home (Read 22042 times)