I think the main issue here is that we are all used to games where you *start* as a well-trained hero, or else are gradually introduced to combat and built up for more difficult encounters according to a pre-designated storyline. DF is more realistic in that the "bad guy" doesn't start by sending rats your way, then boars, then kobolds, and so on until you are a superpowered machine capable of taking on that dragon or warlord or what-have-you. Instead, you're just in this dangerous world where people regularly die young and violently, and with very little previous experience to help you. There's a reason most people are millers or clothesmakers or wood-burners. It's the only way to stay relatively safe. DF is also more realistic in the sense that instead of building up enough HP that nothing can ever kill you, you're stuck with these squishy body parts that can be destroyed by a lucky hit, no matter how good your armor is. There's no way to become truly unbeatable in DF.
Now, whether or not this is a good thing is up to the player to decide. As for me, I'd prefer the option to start more powerful. I'm a little tired of spending the first hour of gameplay grinding up my defensive stats to a level where I can survive a typical encounter. Since most players do this anyway, why not just allow us to start with these higher stats and save us the time? It's also frustrating how difficult it can be to find equipment, especially armor. I expect this will be improved in future versions, but for now it's something we just have to deal with. Certain mods can help with this.
The final question is whether the gameplay (once you're at a level where you can properly *play*) is worth the work to get there. For me, the answer is yes. Plenty of room for improvement, but still far better than any other game I've tried.