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[Mohawk_Bravo]

Okay, so my girlfriend thinks I've gone over the edge with my latest fortress, but I know I haven't reached superdwarvian villanry yet. I've found a piece of candy on about z level 165. Now I fought my way down there, (with only one casualty, who actually fought off 40-50 zombie coyote men on his own before falling to his wounds) and begin plotting on how to best deal with the situation. After training my dwarves (who admittedly, are so bad ass, they bring their children into the danger rooms without armor, and they haven't been killed yet) and I started thinking "why waste the dwarves on this?". So I've decided I'm going to wall off the entire area except for a one tile area around and one way in. Then, I'm going to build upright spike traps loaded with iron spears (I ran out of steel trying to appease the queen ((who does nothing)) and equipping my first marksdwarf squad (((who probably does less))) ). I'll hook them and the candy to two seperate switches. Then, I'll wall off the last opening and throw the switch to open the gate. As the clowns enter the area, they should be blind to where my dwarves are and I'll simply throw the switch for my spears and grind them until it's safe.

Does this sound like a safe plan? The only thing even remotely near to the door is my magma forging settlement (of like ten guys), though I doubt that will make much difference if the clowns start a jambori (jamobree? spelling?). So, will Graydusk and my favored "One Eye" Zonneth make it, or is this a recipe for disaster?

[Neckbeard]

I think the circus is immune to traps at least mundane traps.  This includes weapon traps, although I could be wrong.

[Panando]

If by iron spears you meant menacing iron spikes, you'll probably be okay. Spikes are significantly sharper than spears, so you definitely want to be using spikes.

[Mohawk_Bravo]

Oh geez, I wasn't sure there was a difference. I'll be sure to switch my orders over to iron spikes. Either way, if it fails, I do have some Fortifications and dwarf-made tunnels to try and at least mount some kind of offensive (/cool story so my dwarves doom doesn't seem so boring) should it spectacularily fail.

[Garath]

some of the clowns need to be hacked apart, I don't think iron (or even steel) spikes or spears will do that, otherwise, should be fine

[Mohawk_Bravo]

So worse comes to worse, I should be able to tenderize the squishy clowns, and then hack up whats left with forty or so legendary dwarf warriors?

[Garath]

So worse comes to worse, I should be able to tenderize the squishy clowns, and then hack up whats left with forty or so legendary dwarf warriors?

as long as they are axe or sword dwarfs. Hammer and marksdwarfs will not do much more damage. The surviving clowns will be mostly disabled, so it should be doable, unless they all have horrible special combinations. Like a few webbers catching everyone, fire breath roasting them on the spot.

[Mohawk_Bravo]

Well half my military are Axelords (20), should that satisfactory given my initial grinder plan?

[Quietust]

Be wary of foes made of fire - when killed, they will release a burst of flames so hot that they will melt steel.

[Mohawk_Bravo]

Project clown jelly is about to get underway. It took another year or so of preperation, but I have one switch to activate the candy cane, and another to operate the iron spike traps. I lost one eniter squad to a rather vicious blob, but it was only my hammer lords anyway (Who in hindsight, were utterly useless for nearly everything. My only regret is that my favourite dwarf died of some wounds well resting in the hospital. One Eye Zonneth, the one eyed Axe Lord with a talent for dismembering enemies, will be sorely missed. I dedicate project Clown Jelly to him.

I will let you guys know what happens, if anyone is interested.

[Mohawk_Bravo]

That was spectacularily uneventful. So first, the queens younger brother decided it was a good idea to build the final wall piece from the wrong side. Of course, the lovely coating of red was painted over the slade immediately after I began testing my trap. Then, I stationed my guards and pulled the lever (or rather, waited for a dwarf to contemplate socks for six days and then walk 160 flights to pull a switch and walk back). And.... nothing happened. The candy cane was retracted, and the rest stayed exactly the same. Is that normal?

[Leonidas]

I think only one straw per embark unleashes the fun.

[i2amroy]

I think only one straw per embark unleashes the fun.

Sort of correct. I believe the way that it currently works is that if you have multiple ones then regardless of which one you open all of the clowns appear underneath a single one. If that is the one that you opened up then they all come swarming up. If it wasn't then they still swarm up their one, hit the top, and then just sort of mill around IIRC.

[Flare]

I read some time ago about this fixed surface bombardment device someone built. It basically mixes water and magma in the middle of a floating tile at a rapid rate causing multiple cave ins. The main use of this was to drop stuff into the magma sea to harvest the magma as it would turn to mist and fly as high as the blocks were dropping. The secondary use for this is as a weapon, the cave-in dust this knocks up can cause a lot of injuries. The only problem is the minor one of funneling your enemies into the area.

[Garath]

I think only one straw per embark unleashes the fun.

Sort of correct. I believe the way that it currently works is that if you have multiple ones then regardless of which one you open all of the clowns appear underneath a single one. If that is the one that you opened up then they all come swarming up. If it wasn't then they still swarm up their one, hit the top, and then just sort of mill around IIRC.

seconded. Opening a second one won't trigger another invasion of fun, but any pillar can be the gateway, not just one in the whole embark