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[Deepblade]

Urist McBustedtoe: "You know what, I should get my busted up toe looked at instead of walking around with it wide open"

Urist McArmorer/Weaponsmith: "I should probably get some food, grab a drink, go to sleep, and take my time instead of rushing to finish this order of Adamantine armor/weapons and put out a inferior quality armor/weapon. After all, mistakes are made when you're tired and/or take short cuts and we wouldn't want the fortress guard using anything other than the best."

Urist McDad: "Son, you're halfway to being a man now. I think you're old enough to get a job and start contributing to the fortress."

Urist McMechanic: "Let me get this straight, you want me to stack a series of pumps on top of each other in order to bring water/magma up to fortress level even though with a series of pipes and pumps we could pressurize it and bring it up with far less effort and energy?"

Urist McMetalsmith: "What should I make this gold statue, that will go in our greatest champions tomb, into? Either the grand and glorious battle where he routed 40 goblins single-handedly, or a picture of me holding cheese above my head. What am I thinking?! of course it shall be about him!"

[SixOfSpades]

Kogan Koganulab, Miner: "Well, you see, boss, it's dangerous mining where you want us to go . . . you never know when you might open up a cavern, and then who knows WHAT might be on the other side, waiting to grab you.  So I'm thinking that we miners should all wear armor when we're digging."
Rith Dastotral, Woodcutter: "The hunters and we all feel the same way. I mean, if Sarvesh the jeweler gets to wear steel gauntlets while cutting gems, why can't we wear helmets when we're out foraging beyond the castle walls?"

Uvash Sibrekfath, Cook: "Sorry, we're all out of that ☼peacock meat roast☼ that we advertised . . . there was such a rush, we didn't expect that many customers. All we've got left for you now is some raw plump helmets."
Ezum Ingizilral, Mechanic: "Ahh, big deal. Food is food."

Id Bembulavuz, Engraver: "Just thought I'd double-check everything with you, boss, before I started carving that mural that's going all the way around the throne room. After all, I only get the one chance to do this right, and I'd hate to engrave the wrong thing in the wrong place."

Nish Erithbekar, Animal Trainer: "A goblin ambush? Ha. My highly trained war dogs will make short work of them."

[Akura]

Urist McDad: "Son, you're halfway to being a man now. I think you're old enough to get a job and start contributing to the fortress."

Well, 5- and 6-year-olds are capable of at harvesting crops and removing constructions.

Kogan Koganulab, Miner: "Well, you see, boss, it's dangerous mining where you want us to go . . . you never know when you might open up a cavern, and then who knows WHAT might be on the other side, waiting to grab you.  So I'm thinking that we miners should all wear armor when we're digging."

Dwarven miners already have it much better than real-life miners...

Uvash Sibrekfath, Cook: "Sorry, we're all out of that ☼peacock meat roast☼ that we advertised . . . there was such a rush, we didn't expect that many customers. All we've got left for you now is some raw plump helmets."
Ezum Ingizilral, Mechanic: "Ahh, big deal. Food is food."

I think that already does happen.

[ikachan]

Ulrist Mcfriend: "Maybe I should actually give my friend some food while he's in hospital rather than throwing a tantrum when he dies."

[Aviator CJ]

Urist McMarksdwarf: the overseer wants me to shoot at some beast in the caverns? But there's no light down there! How will I even see it?

[Owlbread]

Random Stupid Cat claws Urist in the first toe bruising the fat
Urist doesnt bitch about being too injured by a tiny tiny wound to kill a small cat and stabs the cat in the chest with the iron sword
Urist carries the body back to the corpse stockpile and doesnt use soap or water and takes it like any normal human would,with no fear of a small 1 inch scratch and becomes a brave hero of the order of sane dwarves

These are the cats that survive goblin sieges and forgotten beasts. Dwarven cats. I think their scratches will be a little bit deeper than your average soft human cat.

[vadia]

Random Stupid Cat claws Urist in the first toe bruising the fat
Urist doesnt bitch about being too injured by a tiny tiny wound to kill a small cat and stabs the cat in the chest with the iron sword
Urist carries the body back to the corpse stockpile and doesnt use soap or water and takes it like any normal human would,with no fear of a small 1 inch scratch and becomes a brave hero of the order of sane dwarves

'[]
Do you know where cats put their claws?  It's odder that they don't become infected.

[TheZoomZoll]

Random Stupid Cat claws Urist in the first toe bruising the fat
Urist doesnt bitch about being too injured by a tiny tiny wound to kill a small cat and stabs the cat in the chest with the iron sword
Urist carries the body back to the corpse stockpile and doesnt use soap or water and takes it like any normal human would,with no fear of a small 1 inch scratch and becomes a brave hero of the order of sane dwarves

'[]
Do you know where cats put their claws?  It's odder that they don't become infected.

I don't even want to know

[Scootagoose]

Urist McCrazy punches Urist McHardcorewarrior, the attack is deflected by his *iron helmet*Urist McHardcorewarrior slashes Urist McCrazy and his head sails off in an arc!

[itisnotlogical]

You punch the lasher in the head, bruising the skull and knocking him unconscious!
You drag the lasher to jail!
You collect the live bounty.

[TheCoolSideofthePIllow]

Urist McBuilder: "Well, I can't build this wall here since I am standing where I want to build it. I guess I should stand over there."

[JimDale]

Urist McCatFetish cancels adopt another cat: already owns TOO MANY DAMN CATS

[Urist McRas]

- You want me to pump out ocean? And where do I put that water? Back to the ocean? Are you sober?
- Of course I can bring food to starving elephant.
- I always put on socks before shoes.
- I better not take my baby to the danger room.
- How many bolts I can make out of one log? Several hundreds, maybe a thousand.
- I can't build a wall that can be deconstructed by a dwarven child, but will withstand bronze colossus.

Goblin Leader: Okay, guys, we cant break the walls and the bridge, we'll have to go home. But we'll take the values scattered outside the walls.

[Scootagoose]

Urist McIdiot doesn't get crushed by a falling rock as he avoided the falling rock and the project was completed and not filled with miasma.

[i2amroy]

- You want me to pump out ocean? And where do I put that water? Back to the ocean? Are you sober?

Technically this is one of those cool things that physics says you could do in real life but would require so much work to make it unfeasible.