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Author Topic: Things that don't happen.  (Read 97397 times)

hops

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #315 on: October 06, 2012, 03:08:43 pm »

News: January 1, 2013: Dwarf Fortress 1 has been released.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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Rolan7

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #316 on: October 06, 2012, 05:00:41 pm »

More like April 1 amirite?
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She/they
No justice: no peace.
Quote from: Fallen London, one Unthinkable Hope
This one didn't want to be who they was. On the Surface – it was a dull, unconsidered sadness. But everything changed. Which implied everything could change.

reality.auditor

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #317 on: October 07, 2012, 09:10:38 am »

Holy shit that looks real. When I saw this I thought it was a actual feature I had never seen. HOW U DO THIS MAGIC MAN?
There are ASCII editors (google it). You can do wonderfully faked DF screenshots.
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Are weapons like the least lethal thing in DF?

TheDarkStar

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #318 on: October 07, 2012, 09:35:36 am »

Miner: How about I dig a channel from the side, instead of on top of it?
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Callista

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #319 on: October 07, 2012, 10:32:45 am »

Holy shit that looks real. When I saw this I thought it was a actual feature I had never seen. HOW U DO THIS MAGIC MAN?
There are ASCII editors (google it). You can do wonderfully faked DF screenshots.
This is just begging for a DF webcomic. Though... probably someone has already done it. Ah, if only I had the gift of funny.
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SixOfSpades

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #320 on: October 07, 2012, 02:54:13 pm »

Your subscription to Dwarf Fortress has expired. Do you wish to pay $14.99 USD for an additional 30 days? [Y/N]
Credit Card number (Visa/AmEx):
Expiration Date:


Connecting to North American server (this may take a moment) . . . .


You have been struck down.
2l33t4u: LOL OMFG U N00B
Iteb Obanthul: STOP CAMPING U FAG
2l33t4u: ROFL
« Last Edit: October 07, 2012, 02:57:10 pm by SixOfSpades »
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Slayerhero90

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #321 on: October 07, 2012, 03:35:55 pm »

Your subscription to Dwarf Fortress has expired. Do you wish to pay $14.99 USD for an additional 30 days? [Y/N]
Credit Card number (Visa/AmEx):
Expiration Date:


Connecting to North American server (this may take a moment) . . . .


You have been struck down.
2l33t4u: LOL OMFG U N00B
Iteb Obanthul: STOP CAMPING U FAG
2l33t4u: ROFL

I think you win a cabbage medul.
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My tumblr.
Yeah no I don't haunt here anymore. Peace

Iapetus

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #322 on: October 09, 2012, 04:56:21 pm »

Urist McMason:  There are suitible and identical rocks to build this wall already in place all along the proposed route?  Okay then, I'll use them where they are.  Why would I care which order and position they were assigned in?

Urist McAdventurer: I'm swimming in a river/lake, and the sun is about to set?  I suppose I should get out soon - it will be getting cold, and it will take me longer to warm up afterwards.

Urist McPasserby: Someone is lying in the main corridor, injured and unable to move?  I'd better help him get to the hospital.

Urist McChiefMiner: You want us to channel out this overhanging ledge?  No problem - I'll start at the outer edge and work inwards.  And Dastod?  Sarvesh?  Make sure no-one is standing on the tiles you mine out.

Urist McCook: You want to save all tallow for soap making, regardless of type?  Okay then, I won't use any of it for cooking, even if someone brings in a novel variety that hasn't been seen before.

Urist McHauler: And you want to put all fat - regardless of type - in this stockpile, and all tallow - again, regardless of type - in that one?  Sure, no problem.

Urist McBook-keeper: So your not interested in what type of leather all these clothes are made from?  Okay then - that will save me a lot of work cataloguing them all.

Urist McMason:  You want me to build a 1-tile-wide wall along the top of an existing wall?  Okay, I'll start at the far end and work backwards.
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Engraved on the floor is a well-designed image of a kobold and a carp.  The kobold is making a plaintive gesture.  The carp is laughing.

billybobfred

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #323 on: October 10, 2012, 01:12:36 pm »

Urist McBroker: And in exchange for your seventeen bins of cloth, here are our forty lead bins of stone crafts.
Olith McElf: Thank you for your business. ... Ah, a wooden one slipped in, it seems. You know we can't accept that.
Urist McBroker: My apologies. I'll tell the haulers to be more careful in future.

Alternately...

Olith McElf: A wooden bin?! How dare you! We won't even consider trading, even if you intended only to trade its contents!!
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urist mcgeorg, who lives in boatmurdered and makes over 10,000 bad decisions each day,

reality.auditor

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #324 on: October 10, 2012, 01:42:19 pm »

Urist McBroker: And in exchange for your seventeen bins of cloth, here are our forty lead bins of stone crafts.
Olith McElf: Thank you for your business. ... Ah, a wooden one slipped in, it seems. You know we can't accept that.
Urist McBroker: My apologies. I'll tell the haulers to be more careful in future.

Alternately...

Olith McElf: A wooden bin?! How dare you! We won't even consider trading, even if you intended only to trade its contents!!
It would be nice to have traders with different personalites.
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Are weapons like the least lethal thing in DF?

hops

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #325 on: October 10, 2012, 06:53:44 pm »

I don't give bins to elves anymore, I manually selected all the items, and items only.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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chaosgear

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #326 on: October 10, 2012, 07:12:29 pm »

This thread is by far the funniest one I've seen.

Urist McMason: But I can't build this wall! Something is blocking the construction site!
Urist McStoneworker: McMason, you are the only thing standing on the site.
Urist McMason: Oh...yeah, I'll just move.


Urist McUristUrist: I am so sick of this place! We don't even have a stinkin' well!
Urist McDwarfy: ...really? You're complaining about the lack of a well? We have that really nice reservoir right next to the dining room. It even has a nice waterfall. We don't need a well with that. Heck, all you drink is booze, so why are you even complaining?
Urist McUristUrist: ...yeah, you've got a point...
« Last Edit: October 10, 2012, 07:21:41 pm by chaosgear »
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I always seem to end up with a magnificent burial complex and nowhere near enough bodies to fill it, or far too many bodies and nowhere to put any of them.

Yoink

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #327 on: October 11, 2012, 07:27:58 am »

Urist McUristUrist: ...yeah, you've got a point pint...

Fixed that for ya! HAR HAR HAR
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

vadia

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #328 on: October 11, 2012, 10:41:20 am »

Urist McBroker: And in exchange for your seventeen bins of cloth, here are our forty lead bins of stone crafts.
Olith McElf: Thank you for your business. ... Ah, a wooden one slipped in, it seems. You know we can't accept that.
Urist McBroker: My apologies. I'll tell the haulers to be more careful in future.

Alternately...

Olith McElf: A wooden bin?! How dare you! We won't even consider trading, even if you intended only to trade its contents!!
Better yet,
Oilith McPickypicky: I noticed that you have a wooden door; prepare to die (in about 3 months hence via siege).
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Berossus

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #329 on: October 11, 2012, 10:49:15 am »

Elf McGeneral: "Forward, kill the evil tree-murderers and desecrate their- wait, are they wearing metal armor? Shit, weve got only wooden swords. Thats it boys, were going home..."
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My son, many speak of the honor in war.
My preferred method is to wait until their back is turned, then impale them with a pike held by someone else.
Preferrably from a distance.
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