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[Dorftrottel]

Urist McTrader: "No, seriously, I won't buy any more stone mugs. We already got plenty of those, and nobody uses them anyway. Wait a minute, is this dwarf over there carrying a stinking, totally worn out sock to the trade depot? Why by Amork would he do that? What am I supposed to do with it, trade it for my excellent goods?"

[gestahl]

Urist McHauler: "Even thou I would never drop a dwarf down into a pit, I know that the thing in this cage used to be Oddom Uzollar, Marksdwarf but now it's just a murderous zombie, so I will throw it down the incinerator. It's not like there's an actual dwarf in there, so I won't flip out."

[TheDarkStar]

UristMcNoble: This fort has no <insert rare material here>, so I think I won't mandate furniture made of it.

[racnor]

Goblin Mccomander
"Archers, plunging fire. Aim for the central staircase!"

[Mchccjg12]

Tame yak/cow/grazing animal: "I'm out in the middle of a ton of grass! May as well eat some of it while my owners find me a pasture!"
Seriously, why do tame grazing animals not eat grass if they aren't assigned a pen. -_-

[TheBeardyMan]

Urist McHungry cancels eat: suspects meal may contain horse meat.

[Sutremaine]

Urist McFivekills: "Yay, I've earned a title. Wait, you want me to be called what? The Pink Merchant? What the circus kind of name is that? That's not badass enough for a soldier of my skill. Give me a better one."

'The Pink Axe'?

[flabort]

Urist McHusband cancels breed: Wife not in same room.

[TheBeardyMan]

Urist McBrewer: Hmm... I'll need a barrel and a stack of plump helmets to brew some dwarven wine. Oh, the plump helmets are already inside the barrel. How convenient!

[flabort]

Urist McBrewer: Hmm... I'll need a barrel and a stack of plump helmets to brew some dwarven wine. Oh, the plump helmets are already inside the barrel. How convenient!

Ahahah, so true! I hate it when that happens.

[Avelon]

Horse McGrazer: Hmmm, the area I'm standing in is a pasture. I think I'll just graze since everyone is too busy to come tell me to and I'm literally starving to death.

Urist McMother: I've got work to do and my husband is idle. I think I'll just let him hold Urist McJunior while I go clean up Forgotten Beast necroacidinflammatory!!fire!! spit.

[ramensoup]

Game McFeature: "This dwarf just had a child, I should notify the player... Well, he is aware that dwarves mate and doesn't particularly like kids and he is off doing something a little bit more important, I won't bother him with this."

[Sutremaine]

You can make that happen.

[SixOfSpades]

Dumas Urdimlam, Architect: "Mestthos, I have a job for you. I need you to tear down that wall, the one made of granite reinforced with steel."
Mestthos Sibrekral, Dwarven Child: "What?! Dude, I'm all of two years old. That wall could hold back an army of forgotten beasts and bronze collosi, what the hell am I gonna be able to do to it?"
Dumas Urdimlam: "Haha, I was just kidding with you. What I really want you to do is help me build this watchtower. We'll just stack these wooden blocks as high as we can."
Mestthos Sibrekral: "Yay! That sounds like fun, let's do that!"

[Splint]

Urist McSwordsdwarf cancels fight balrog: That thing is made of fucking fire and he values his life.

Fun thing, is this actually happened in the opposite sense. Urist McDumbassSwordsdwarf fought a balrog unarmored with only an iron short sword and won. Only loss was her left ass cheek which melted.