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[Monk321654]

Urist McSmartHauler: Hmmm. maybe if i roll the barrel it's going to be done easier and faster.

But then you spill your booze! Barrels don't ha-

Urist McCarpenter: "Hmmm... Maybe if I make a lid to these barrels, we can roll them around faster and not lose our stuff."

Urist McStoneworker: "Hey, buddy, I've still got this huge pile of rubble after carving three stone figurines. Mind getting that out of the way?"

[Joël]

Urist McKid: "Oh, we're under siege from a huge goblin army. Let's be responsible and not start a party!"

[EckyThump]

Urist Urist Urist McHammerlord: "The battlefield is no place for a Dwarven Baby, little one. Stay with Daddy until I get back!"

[WealthyRadish]

Zuglar "The Fondled Goat-Galleys" Serbledonk, off duty axelord: Better kill that enraged badger before it bites someone!

[darkrider2]

Thoughts of Urist Minersmith: Oh shit I better stop cleaning the vomit off this floor so I can flee from the magma coming down this thin corridor.

Urist Minersmith 2: This room is going to be used for smelting metals, the magma sea is just below us, so the warm walls here are not dangerous and I should mine through them all.

Urist Nobleman: That's odd, the overseer oversaw the building of my room personally, and my door locks from the outside, I am suspicious and fear for my life that there may be a conspiracy against me.

Urist McMayor: I'm going to mandate the production of beds because of the vast shortage of housing for our migrants.

[DarkWolfXV]

Urist: Oh shit! Goblin siege! Lets just dont panic and head straight to the gate, because it is our only way to not die.

UristMcNoble: I guess i should order something useful like steel spears now.

[krenshala]

Uvash Rakustsanreb, Speardwarf: I need a shield! I could grab one from that goblin corpse outside on the other side of the river.  Of course, the rest of the siege is still over there, and we have some downstairs in the storeroom.  I think I'll just go downstairs and get one of those shields instead.

(I really hope Uvash doesn't die.  She one shotted a goblin snatcher on her way to the bridge over the stream, and I thought that would dissuade her but, of course, it didn't.  Nine mace, flail and morning-star equipped gobbos, plus a lasher on an alligator in the stream are left.  I hope the marksdwarves can reposition in time to provide some cover fire.  They killed the gobbo's that dropped the shields that Uvash was heading over to get, after all.)

[Ria Hawk]

Urist McNoble: I do like slade, but I think the talents of my constituents will be better applied creating items out of a material that is actually obtainable.

Urist McNoble: It sure is a downer that the smiths were not able to make that candy furniture I wanted. I will accept the fact that we do not have sufficient supplies of candy for this, and get on with my life.

Urist McPeasant: I'm not going out into the hordes of gobbos. It's only a sock.

Urist McHammerer: One of the nobles has clearly had a lapse of judgement. I will not bludgeon a random dwarf to death because a completely unrelated dwarf was unable to fill a clearly impossible demand.

Urist McFisherdwarf: I have fished all of the pools near the fort dry. I will now assist the haulers with moving all of this stone that's lying around.

Urist McMilitiadwarf: Combat is dangerous. I must make sure that I am properly armed and armored before I go out to join battle.

Urist McDigger: Channeling the ground out from under my coworker would be dangerous, impractical, and stupid. I will wait until he moves to dig that patch out.

Urist McDwarf: I'm going to get my cat spayed. It's the responsible thing to do.

[gabandre]

urist McIdleFarmer: maybe I will plant something in this unused plot as the food reserves are low
urisr McIdleBrewer: the booze stocks are low, I'm going to brew some more before we run dry.

[misko27]

Goblin: huh, I am completly armed, healthy, and capable, the dwarf dragging me along is pretty weak, I should try to escape.

Urist McSwordsdwarf: Huh, the goblins are right ahead, I should wait for the rest of my squad.

[SixOfSpades]

Avuz Bekaringiz, mayor: "Welcome, migrants!"

Likot Mistemerith, Animal Caretaker: "Whoa. This caged Cyclops is WAY too heavy for one dwarf to carry alone. I'll wait until 4 or 5 other haulers show up, and we can lift it together."

Avuz Bekaringiz, mayor: "Welcome, migrants! . . . Oooh, I see that you are a Master Cook. Come with me, we have a kitchen all ready for your use."
Oddom Regdeler, Cook: "Oh good, you mean it has a large iron cauldron and a steel boning knife? 'Cause I forgot to bring those with me. And of course the kitchen has a Wood Furnace built into it for a fire--those plump helmet roasts don't roast themselves, you know! Ha ha!"
Avuz Bekaringiz, mayor: " . . . . . "

Rigoth Dodokmuthkat, High Master Potash Maker: "GodDAMN that vocational guidance counselor!"

Zuglar Cattenminkot, Mechanic: " . . . and while the very simplest of devices, such as hinges, can sometimes be made out of materials like wood, only hard metal gives you the kind of strength and durability required for true mechanisms. Springs and thin gears simply can't be made out of anything else."
Dastot Bomrekavuz, Peasant: "But sir, what about those tales of mechanisms made from stone? Can't we make them out of stone?"
Zuglar Cattenminkot: "Wha-- BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!"

Avuz Bekaringiz, mayor/broker: "Hey, the liason's keeping me really busy, haggling over this trade agreement, could you please just hang on a little bit longer until we're finished? I'll cut you an extra 5% profit."
Fath Vucarasen, Merchant: "Okay, sure, we'll wait."

Bembul Nishostar, Woodcutter: "Whack, whack, goes the axe, down comes the wood. Along comes the peasant to haul it away, boy, my job is good. Whack, whack, goes the--oh, hey look, there's a raccoon." (continues chopping)

Avuz Bekaringiz, mayor: "I share my sleeping, dining, and office arrangements equally with my lover, whom I hope will soon become my wife. I am not bothered by this in the slightest."

[Urist_McGamer]

I hope to look back on this after Toady adds all these things to the way dwarves think.

Urist McDog cancels scoot around on butt: Incoming minecart!
Urist McDog has dodged and begun chasing a speeding minecart!

[Replica]

Mayor/Broker/Leader: "Of course I will pause whatever hauling or crafting I was about to do to talk to the outpost liason for a few minutes!"
"The incredibly important caravan from the mountainhomes that brought much needed food and drink for us has arrived and I am the only one able enough to negotiate a good deal with what few trinkets we managed to produce this winter and they are leaving by the end of the day? I think I can sleep and take a month long break later, no rush really. The survival of the fortress takes priority."

[Monk321654]

On one hand, I can't wait for the day(s) where stuff like this actually becomes true.
But on the other hand, I think we're all gonna miss some of the goofy stuff...
And on that note.

Urist McAxedwarf: "My husband has been killed by filthy Goblin scum. But I can't lose my mind now, I still have two kids and the fortress to defend. I must trudge onward.

[Laserhead]

Urist McHauler: "That golden statue that they want in the dining room looks pretty heavy. Lucky for me there's a wheelbarrow right there beside it."

that or

Urist McHauler cancels Construct Statue: hernia