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Author Topic: Things that don't happen.  (Read 95195 times)

pisskop

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #420 on: December 11, 2012, 03:44:40 pm »

McHauler: "You know, it's hard to navigate the halls without adequate lights.  Don't we have torches anywhere in our civilization?"
« Last Edit: December 11, 2012, 03:46:40 pm by pisskop »
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Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

jesternario

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #421 on: December 16, 2012, 08:22:22 am »

Urist McArchitect: "OH! The creature blocking the sight of my grand construction is ME! I'll just move to the side and continue from there."
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You are never lost as long as you have a trusty and reliable Compass. Mine kept pointing North, so I just removed the red Needle! Problem solved!

Then I proceeded to pick up the rest of the bunnies, the masterfully crafted bronze statue, and its head. The head will be his trophy... But I need money.

Ruhn

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #422 on: December 20, 2012, 02:32:26 pm »

Urist McAnyone: "Oh! I can hear the drawbridge comming down.  Better run out of the way before I get smashed."

Kaitlyn

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #423 on: December 20, 2012, 05:56:00 pm »

Random Stupid Cat claws Urist in the first toe bruising the fat
Urist doesn't bitch about being scratched by a cat and doesn't even considering killing an innocent creature for natural playful behavior.

Fixed.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #424 on: December 20, 2012, 08:55:53 pm »

Now why the hell wouldn't urist want to kill it? Urists kill things.

I love kitties though. They're so cute :3
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

FlickerFly

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #425 on: December 20, 2012, 11:30:53 pm »

Urist McStrangemood has created Appropriatename, an incredibly useful adamantine item!
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If I were you, I'd do exactly the same thing as you would, because I'd be you.
</inactivity>

Align

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #426 on: December 21, 2012, 10:58:32 am »

Catten Uldashir, Captain of the Guard has staged a coup at Andesite Table!
You have been ousted as the fortress overseer...

Riphen Zihlotok, Migrant has fled the fortress due to the siege!
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My stray dogs often chase fire imps back into the magma pipe and then continue fighting while burning and drowning in the lava. Truly their loyalty knows no bounds, but perhaps it should.

Eктωρ

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #427 on: December 21, 2012, 01:00:58 pm »

Urist McLeatherworker: You want me to make an armour out of chicken leather? You know Dastot, I think an animal with thicker skin might be more appropriate.
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Ektor is in a constant state of internal rage

Akura

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #428 on: December 21, 2012, 02:07:57 pm »

Urist McBlackKnight cancels Fight King: severed arm is more than a flesh wound.

(Seriously, in DF terms, the above does not happen.)
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Quote
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.

WealthyRadish

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #429 on: December 21, 2012, 02:20:25 pm »

Cog Udotok, Accountant: "Alright, on to the next ledger. Hmm... wait, this isn't right. Why would our letherworker use an entire water buffalo hide to make a single bracelet? Must be a mistake, I'll ask him about it next time I'm out taking inventory."
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Snateraar

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #430 on: December 21, 2012, 02:36:11 pm »

Wait, I'm standing on the wrong side of the wall. Let's move to the other side and continue constructing from there.
Also, I will finish the job because apparently a horde of very angry goblins seems to be on their way to our fortress, the drink can wait.
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Urist McSnate likes malachite, copper bars, birds and goblinite for its abundance. When possible, he prefers to consume tea and toast. He absolutely detests elves.

A tall, clumsy creature fond of birds and industry.

Eric Blank

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #431 on: December 21, 2012, 04:25:06 pm »

"You know, maybe instead of channeling the floor out form under myself, I could stand on the floor next to what I need to channel out. That spot that is adjacent to a stairwell leading back into the fortress, which will also still be supported still after channeling this.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Kaitlyn

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #432 on: December 21, 2012, 04:46:38 pm »

Urist McWoodcutter, "That kobold thief is fleeing! That cheeky bastard. Oh well, back to chopping down trees; it's not like a fleeing kobold is scary."
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Nasikabatrachus

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #433 on: December 21, 2012, 06:05:40 pm »

Urist McCrossbow follows order to kill an enemy visible only through battlements: easy and practical thing to do.
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"I want to have goblins about me, for I am courageous. The courage which scareth away ghosts, createth for itself goblins--it wanteth to laugh." Thus Spake Zarathustra, chapter 7, Friedrich Nietzsche

Sutremaine

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #434 on: December 21, 2012, 06:49:54 pm »

Urist McCrossbow follows order to kill an enemy visible only through battlements: easy and practical thing to do.
The stupid thing is that if they're just in the area as civilians they'll happily stand there and shoot at it even if it's a slow but powerful opponent that they should probably avoid (a five year old is better at avoiding zombies than most of my adult dwarves. I'm not kidding either). Station orders work fine too, but you need to take into account the 7x7 area centred on your station point and on the same level.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.
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