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[pisskop]

McHauler: "You know, it's hard to navigate the halls without adequate lights.  Don't we have torches anywhere in our civilization?"

[jesternario]

Urist McArchitect: "OH! The creature blocking the sight of my grand construction is ME! I'll just move to the side and continue from there."

[Ruhn]

Urist McAnyone: "Oh! I can hear the drawbridge comming down.  Better run out of the way before I get smashed."

[Kaitlyn]

Random Stupid Cat claws Urist in the first toe bruising the fat
Urist doesn't bitch about being scratched by a cat and doesn't even considering killing an innocent creature for natural playful behavior.

Fixed.

[Eric Blank]

Now why the hell wouldn't urist want to kill it? Urists kill things.

I love kitties though. They're so cute :3

[FlickerFly]

Urist McStrangemood has created Appropriatename, an incredibly useful adamantine item!

[Align]

Catten Uldashir, Captain of the Guard has staged a coup at Andesite Table!
You have been ousted as the fortress overseer...

Riphen Zihlotok, Migrant has fled the fortress due to the siege!

[Eктωρ]

Urist McLeatherworker: You want me to make an armour out of chicken leather? You know Dastot, I think an animal with thicker skin might be more appropriate.

[Akura]

Urist McBlackKnight cancels Fight King: severed arm is more than a flesh wound.

(Seriously, in DF terms, the above does not happen.)

[WealthyRadish]

Cog Udotok, Accountant: "Alright, on to the next ledger. Hmm... wait, this isn't right. Why would our letherworker use an entire water buffalo hide to make a single bracelet? Must be a mistake, I'll ask him about it next time I'm out taking inventory."

[Snateraar]

Wait, I'm standing on the wrong side of the wall. Let's move to the other side and continue constructing from there.
Also, I will finish the job because apparently a horde of very angry goblins seems to be on their way to our fortress, the drink can wait.

[Eric Blank]

"You know, maybe instead of channeling the floor out form under myself, I could stand on the floor next to what I need to channel out. That spot that is adjacent to a stairwell leading back into the fortress, which will also still be supported still after channeling this.

[Kaitlyn]

Urist McWoodcutter, "That kobold thief is fleeing! That cheeky bastard. Oh well, back to chopping down trees; it's not like a fleeing kobold is scary."

[Nasikabatrachus]

Urist McCrossbow follows order to kill an enemy visible only through battlements: easy and practical thing to do.

[Sutremaine]

Urist McCrossbow follows order to kill an enemy visible only through battlements: easy and practical thing to do.

The stupid thing is that if they're just in the area as civilians they'll happily stand there and shoot at it even if it's a slow but powerful opponent that they should probably avoid (a five year old is better at avoiding zombies than most of my adult dwarves. I'm not kidding either). Station orders work fine too, but you need to take into account the 7x7 area centred on your station point and on the same level.