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Author Topic: Things that don't happen.  (Read 95211 times)

darkgloomie

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #255 on: September 15, 2012, 05:13:41 am »

Urist McPlayer cancels Edit Child Cap: Throwing Babies in Danger Room

now that's the dorfy thing to do.


And completly practical. 

With training militiadorfs training in the dangerroom when uri Mcdumpsterbaby is thrown in they get hardened to atrocity and death.

If urist Mcbaby survives he gets TON of cool skills/scars.

you get rid of babez.

And completly practical. 

With training militiadorfs training in the dangerroom when uri Mcdumpsterbaby is thrown in they get hardened to atrocity and death.

If urist Mcbaby survives he gets TON of cool skills/scars.

you get rid of babez.
[/quote]exactly. Send the mothers for a quick training session and watch the babies fly. I even suggested that in the miscarriage thread, but I wasn't listened to.

(also, I believe babies just can't survive Not for a typical danger room session, at least)

P.S.: only in Dwarf Fortress you can suggest impaling babies because they're a waste of resources, and not be seen as a sociopath.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2012, 05:17:54 am by darkgloomie »
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vadia

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #256 on: September 15, 2012, 09:09:17 pm »

Nay you are seen as a hero to all dwarfdom.
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Tsuchigumo550

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #257 on: September 23, 2012, 03:50:41 pm »

Urist McHealthyDwarf cancels walk: saw incoming minecart after looking left and right

Urist McHealthyDwarf cancels wait: incoming minecart has passed
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There are words that make the booze plant possible. Just not those words.
Alright you two. Attempt to murder each other. Last one standing gets to participate in the next test.
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Scow2

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #258 on: September 23, 2012, 08:35:56 pm »

Here are some Adventure Mode things:

Urist McAdventurer: "Huamn McVillage Doctor, could you please patch up my bleeding injuries and set my broken bones so I don't die? I pay well."

Urist McAdventurer: "Hey, Urist McHiredBlade, you've accumulated too many injuries and lost too much equipment to safely accompany me. Here's your share of the loot, and may we travel again when you've recovered."

Urist McAnyone: "Hold on, Urist McDrowningMan! I'll help pull you out of the water!"
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vadia

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #259 on: September 23, 2012, 08:45:56 pm »

Urist mcquest giver -- "Here's some directions to the sewers"
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pisskop

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #260 on: September 23, 2012, 10:42:17 pm »

Humie Mcarmourer:  Ya know, there's a lot of dwarven and goblin adventurers these days.  I should learn how to make armour their size.  Oh, and to smelt more steel.
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PKs DF Mod!

SixOfSpades

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #261 on: September 23, 2012, 11:20:17 pm »

Datan Mestthossibrek, Presser: "We were saving a turkey to eat when winter came, but it died of old age in the middle of fall, so we had to butcher & eat it then."

Catten Bomreksodel, Landscaper: "Ah, the elves have brought more barrels of clay loam. When we use it to build walls, floors, and ramps, over time grass and trees will naturally grow there, as if it were native soil that had never been disturbed at all."
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Broseph Stalin

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #262 on: September 24, 2012, 10:19:46 am »

Urist McMason: "You want me to make a load bearing wall out of soap? I'll come back when you're sober."

Urist McWoodburner cancels burn nethercap: interrupted by physics

Urist McVampire cancels Be Mayor,  deposed for evil bloodsucking ways

kero42

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #263 on: September 24, 2012, 04:39:23 pm »

Catten Bomreksodel, Landscaper: "Ah, the elves have brought more barrels of clay loam. When we use it to build walls, floors, and ramps, over time grass and trees will naturally grow there, as if it were native soil that had never been disturbed at all."

If only we could actually do that! We could make artficial hills that look completely real! That would be perfect for the "Human" Village (with a secret fort hidden from the silly tall folk's eyes) I'm trying to make (so far with very little success).
« Last Edit: September 25, 2012, 05:15:51 pm by kero42 »
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Something I find interesting and thought I should share: DF from scratch: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=127552.0

Mr S

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #264 on: September 25, 2012, 08:17:48 pm »

[offtopic]
You can do that in DFHack.  Use tiletypes command to place soil where you want it, can even set the now underground bits to be "unrevealed" if you like.

[/offtopic]

Urist McMiner cancels dig ramps under tree.  Does not wish to have tree falling on head.
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pixl97

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #265 on: September 25, 2012, 10:59:26 pm »

Expedition leader: "Hello, Liaison. I know that your time here is short, so let me conduct our meeting immediately. That way, you can finish your business here without having to make a summer home in the fortress"
Laison: Your time is also short, let's get down to business.  [i.e. no huffy, "you didn't say bye!" or "You didn't review your requests -waaaah!"]
Mayor: "Liaison, lets get this meeting done quick, there is an election going on."
Laison: "Oh look the mayor as been replaced, lets talk to the new mayor rather then just leaving in a huff."
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lordofthenothing

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #266 on: September 26, 2012, 12:52:13 am »

Urist McDwarf: "I'll better not eat these plumphelmets, so the brewer can use them."
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Sus

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #267 on: September 26, 2012, 12:57:20 am »

Vlad McBloodsucker, Dwarf vampire cheese maker, has been staked to death.

Urist McVeteran cancels Kill goblins: resting injury.
...
Urist McVeteran has made a full recovery!

Utast Lolocatten the Fury of Teeth, war Dog
Feather wood splint, left front leg
Pig tail fiber stitches, lower body
« Last Edit: September 26, 2012, 01:02:05 am by Sus »
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

TruePikachu

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #268 on: September 26, 2012, 01:03:28 am »

Carp cancels Attack dwarf; interrupted by dwarf.
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vadia

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Re: Things that don't happen.
« Reply #269 on: September 26, 2012, 10:34:37 pm »

Urist McDwarf: "I'll better not eat these plumphelmets, so the brewer can use them."
z go to kitchens scroll to plumphelmets c forbid cooking them.
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