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[pisskop]

Urist Mcminer:  its a good thing I know aquafers don't stretch over whole regions indiscriminantly, and even uf onw where to happen to a thousand years of coping with them let's us dwarfs nerf or circumvent them easily.

[Iceflame]

Urist McAxelord: "Well, I'm quite tired by now, but there is still a shitload of small green stinkers out there.  Although they are just standing around now, they may attack every second. So I guess taking a nap outside the walls, just where I'm standing at the moment, will not be the safest decision in my life."

[bukitodinos]

Urist McAxelord: "Well, I'm quite tired by now, but there is still a shitload of small green stinkers out there.  Although they are just standing around now, they may attack every second. So I guess taking a nap Inside the walls, just where I'm standing at the moment will not be the safest decision in my life."

i think thats what you ment

[oven_baked]

Goblin Child Snatcher "Hmm those 3 guards at gate seem rather well armed, and I can see a pair of gaurds at the inner entrance and the rows of traps behind them. Maybe I should come back another day..."

Elf McMerchant "Wow there's a lot of dead elves around this trading depo, and a massing force of heavily armed dwarfs... maybe we should pack up and leave..."

[Iceflame]

Urist McAxelord: "Well, I'm quite tired by now, but there is still a shitload of small green stinkers out there.  Although they are just standing around now, they may attack every second. So I guess taking a nap Inside the walls, just where I'm standing at the moment will not be the safest decision in my life."

i think thats what you ment

Well, no. The idiot slept outside and was killed by the goblins a few moments later.

[Rolan7]

Overseer McPlayer: "Gee, I have to get up in the morning.  I'd better go to sleep at a reasonable time."

[Trif]

Overseer McPlayer: "Gee, I have to get up in the morning.  I'd better go to sleep at a reasonable time."

Now come on, Rolan7, this thread is about things that don't happen, not unbelievably absurd figments of imagination.

[jesternario]

Expedition leader: "Hello, Liaison. I know that your time here is short, so let me conduct our meeting immediately. That way, you can finish your business here without having to make a summer home in the fortress"

[vadia]

Expedition leader: "Hello, Liaison. I know that your time here is short, so let me conduct our meeting immediately. That way, you can finish your business here without having to make a summer home in the fortress"

Laison: Your time is also short, let's get down to business.  [i.e. no huffy, "you didn't say bye!" or "You didn't review your requests -waaaah!"]

[stormyseasons]

Urist McUrist: Hey guys, it's already summer. I know it was a frozen spring when we arrived, but unless we like drinking alcohol flavoured pondwater, don't you think we should all haul our provisions inside, RIGHT NOW, and collect the logs from our woodcutter's efforts later? [for those times when the wagon parks itself over a bit of frozen water, and you're not sure if the water will melt at season change.]

Mayor: Welcome, all of you, to our fine new mountain home. Congratulations for actually deciding to move your selves out of the way of that incoming siege and into our nicely guarded gates. Since you're smart enough to decide to stop taking the air and scenery and run for your life when you need to, you won't have to earn the privilege of living here by serving out a term of service in the guard! (aka what I wish migrant waves would do when I'm besieged just after they arrive. Any survivors usually get drafted straightaway, since if they have no self-preservation instinct, it may as well benefit the fortress in its' expression)

[Darkgamma]

Urist McMiner cancels Dig: not that f*cking stupid.

[billybobfred]

Urist McBrewer cancels Brew: Needs empty food storage item
Urist McMugMaker cancels Craft Stone Mug /R: Making stone pots for Urist McBrewer

[darkrider2]

Urist McCheesemaker cancels Migrate, no useful skills.

[aoxoa]

Sorry if this has been said;

Urist McFloorDwarf cancels build Floor: Giant Sponge that cannot move and is under water is scaring them

Had this happen to me before. Sorry I think im meant to have stated;

Urist McBrave builds Floor over River. Not scared of immobile giant sponge under water!

[Eric Blank]

Immobile giant sponge under water cancels assault Urist McEasytarget: fails to acknowledge or reach target due to a lack of complex anatomical structures necessary for movement or light-based sense organs.