The fire was on him,
within him.
It hurts. Why does it hurt so much? The raven screamed in pain. He flapped his wings, tried to fly, tried to escape from the fire, from the pain. But he wasn`t able to fly, his mind was occupied with pain.
The fire burned on, yet it didn`t consume him. He couldn`t die.
Not again. He would find no release, no rest from the pain.
Please make it stop, it hurts so much. I`m foolish. I can make the fire go away; i don`t have to endure that pain.And then the fire was gone, the pain was gone, and the raven was whole again- Albeit still covered in soot and ash.
The raven croaked, happily.
Now i can fly again. I`m hungry. I should find something to eat. I should find my Undkindess again, i miss my brothers and sisters. The raven looked towards the sky, longing. For a long moment he stood there, staring, wondering, telling himself that he was a normal raven.
I`m not a raven. I was once a raven. I was never a raven. Now i`m something else, something new, something very old. His mind couldn`t properly express what he felt, what he experienced.
But if i`m not a raven, what am i? He looked like a raven, he sounded like a raven, he would probably taste like a raven. What made him different?
Change, he realized suddenly.
Yes, i`m change. Or i was born from change and i have to learn what i`m now. Or perhaps i`m still a raven, but i can become something new. But what?The raven would find no answers here. Maybe someone can help me.
Maybe the ones that burned me can tell me what i am.The raven soared and for a single, blissful, moment he was a raven again.
This feels so good. Thinking is hard, i want to be a raven again. But he never would be a raven again and his flight ended soon enough.
Perched on a branch he looked down onto the small village. The bonfire was still burning, although not as bright as it did when he was born from the fire. Around it the whole tribe was gathered, whispering, talking,
shouting.
"
It was a sign from the phoenix!" Bellowed a huge man- The shaman of the tribe.
"
Probably you failed to kill the eagle properly and he decided that burning was no pleasant experience and that he would prefer to walk away." Jested a young, but acclaimed, hunter, which drew some laughs.
"
No, it was something else, i saw a raven. It was a raven, not the phoenix. It was a new god." Claimed a young man.
God? Was he a god? He liked the word. He would like to be a god. He would become one.The raven dropped from the branch and landed in front of the shaman. Suddenly all shouting stopped. The tribesmen saw that ash and soot covered his feathers and realized that this was the raven born from the fire.
The young hunter was the first one to regain his composure. "
Honestly? You look silly with your open mouths and wide eyes. That`s a normal raven. A tasty raven." He snatched his spear from the ground, an ugly thing with a fire-hardened point, and threw it with a practiced and forceful motion at the raven.
In mid-flight the spear turned into water, turned into a torrent of raindrops which splashed on the raven and on the fire, making a sizzling sound.
The raven shaked the water from his feathers and croaked, annoyed.
The hunter stumbled backwards, struck dumb. A cry of dismay went up in unison. The shaman knelt down immediately and spoke to the raven: "
Are you.. Are you our god?"
"
I am..." The raven croaked. But he didn`t know how he should continue.
I am.. who? He would need a name. But what name? Nihilus. Why Nihilus? Did he remember that name from a past life, from another world? Was it a sudden idea? Or was the name simply pleasant to his ears? Nevermind. "
I am Nihilus." He croaked again.
This won`t do. I sound stupid.And in a flurry of feathers and a flash of iridescent light the raven vanished and a man appeared.
Afterwards some tribesmen would claim that he looked like one of them, a mighty hunter with black hair, garbed in their traditional pelts. Others would claim that he looked like an old man who had outlived his natural life span, without teeth and only some grey hair remaining. Some would swear that he indeed looked like an hunter, but would vouch that his hair had been brown and that he wore outlandish and strange pelts. And one or two saw feathers instead of hair.
All of them were wrong. All of them were right. Nihilus changed every second- But humans can`t comprehend the avatar of change and will try to rationalize everything they see.
Some of them couldn`t handle it, he saw. Some ran away, full of terror. Others cried out in surprise. But most of them were struck by awe and fell down to their knees.
"
Are you a god? Are you the phoenix?" The shaman asked, almost whispering.
"
I am Nihilus. And i`m a god, but i`m not the phoenix." He said, his voice high and clear.
Was he lying? Was he a god? The phoenix. Is the phoenix a god? He did remember a phoenix. Did the phoenix create him?It didn`t matter, he realized. He realized so much in that single moment. He was no raven and he was no man. He was something else. Like as not he was a god. And if not he would become one. He was change.
"
I`m change. I died in a fire, and i was born in a fire, i dreamt in a fire and then i was born again in a fire." That made no sense to him, but it sounded important and cryptic.
A god should sound important and cryptic.An Unkindness of ravens passed above the village, oblivious to the events below.
If i can change myself, then i should be able to change the world around me, too.He called to the ravens and they answered. They changed their course and gathered around him, occupying the village. Some landed on the huts, some decided to perch on the branches of the trees around them. A few bold ones landed amidst the villagers, their eyes fixed on Nihilus.
The villagers were pretty disquieted by the ravens, but compared to the stuff they had witnessed already today this was tame.
The ravens croaked. And croaked. And croaked.
Until they didn`t croak anymore.
The croaks turned into words, and the words turned into sentences, and the sentences became tales. Tales of events happening nearby and tales of events happening far away.
"
I grant to you a gift. Those ravens are my very own Unkindness. They are my eyes and whisper into my ears. Those of you, who believe in me, will be able to speak with them, too."
Changing the ravens had been as easy as taking a deep breath.
Did he even need to breathe? Probably not. A moment ago they had been ravens, but now they were more.
More but not quite as much as i. They became intelligent and were granted the ability to speak.
"
Nihilus!" The ravens cried out in unison and took to the skies. Nihilus joined them in his raven form.
It is time to go. I have much to learn and the tribesmen much to consider.
***
Hours later Nihilus sat on a tree, still in his raven form. Another raven landed next to him.
"
Are you a raven, too?" The Raven asked, tilting his head.
"
No." He said.
Yes. He thought for a second.
"
No." He said again, firmly and with some sadness in his voice.
It was easy to be a raven. Being a god will be harder.The raven didn`t understand, not really. But he decided against inquiring further and instead began to tell Nihilus about the things he had seen today.
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Nihilus appears to the tribe that burned the raven, long ago.Nihilus creates the "Fire Ravens" by changing an Unkindness of Ravens into them. Those ravens have red beaks, are intelligent and able to speak. The ravens will talk to Nihilus, informing him about the happenings in the wide world. They will also speak to those who believe in Nihilus and will act as his messengers. At the moment there are only several dozens of them, but they will breed at a faster rate than other ravens.