Journal of Jacob ReidSaturday, Janurary 1st, 2067 (cont.):Goddamn it! They do have suites! And is that a Jacuzzi?
Saturday, Janurary 1st, 2067 (cont.):Goddamn pilots and their goddamn Jacuzzis! They're all like "Oh, we need them to relax our muscles after intensive training." Bullshit! The training module isn't even finished yet! They're just as spineless as the pilots from the Second War! "Oh, we can't launch a missile there. Innocent civilians could get hurt." Bah I say. If I had
my way they'd be smarting for about twenty days or so! And then those goddamn doctors would step in to stop me on accounts of "being too brutal." If anybody is going to judge the brutality of actions around here, it's going to be me!
MULLAR! Remind me to yell at those spineless doctors later!
...
Yes, I know that they won't be here for twenty days. Just remind me then you idiot!
Gah, I'm surrounded by incompetents. Now where was I?
...
Eh, it doesn't matter.
[screenshot]
Now I've set the goddamn geeks at the GSC at researching synthetic elerium. I figure that if we can make the stuff, we have no reason for being at the frontier, and I can go back to slowly killing myself in peace. Now I imagine that making the stuff is probably the wet dream of scientists, but if GSC says that they can do it with 20,000 TQs, then by god they're going to do it with 20,000 TQs!
...
Note to self: Find out what a goddamn TQ is.
What else did I do today? Ah, right, I ordered another hanger and, uh, living quarters to be built. That'll give us room for ten pilots and six spacecraft. Since the goddamn bureaucrats say that we can only have five craft in a... squad thingy. Sqaudron! That's the word. Five craft in a squadron. So the sixth one will be a bomber
or something, and we'll switch it out whenever we find an alien station or something. I have no idea about the specifics yet, but I'm not going to wing an entire military
strategy, tempting though it may be...
What else? Oh, I've bought some spare parts in case we need them. We only have three interceptors, and I'd be damned if I'm going to let one of them be grounded while we're waiting for parts. I've also bought a bunch of probes, to investigate the bunch of systems nearby. Oh, and I've set a couple, uh, upish and leftish, so that we get more of an advanced warning when the aliens come.
The goddamn bastards wanted to know if I wanted to hire a fighter escort for the frieghters. Bloody idiot! We're the goddamn escorts in this quadrant, not a bunch of two-timing corperate wannabes!
Bah. Now I've gone through the roster and replaced a few grunts. Uh... Erin got replaced with "Meatshield" and Smeds got booted in favour of Anya Hess. I don't need no smart-ass fighter pilots double-thinking my every command.
I've gone and renamed this piece of shit they call a station into Fort Skywatch. Why? Why the hell not! I've also renamed the fighters as well. Uh, Burning Sock, Skyranger and... Boatmurdered. A lot of the fly boys seem to be getting into the spirit of things too, making up nick-names for themselves, walking through the place like they're the last goddamn hope of Earth. Hell, with everybody bustling around trying to look busy, it's almost like I'm back in the Second War!
Now I'm just waiting for the shooting to start.X-COM LOG: 01-01-2067An alien squadron was detected by an X-COM probe at approximately 0136 hours. Interceptors were sent to engage.
At 0905 hours the fighter craft had reached their target. The pilot commands are as follows:
Rookie Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith piloting the Burning Sock.
LT. CMDR. Jay "FROSTY" Harvings piloting the Boatmurdered.
CMDR. Bonnie "FATBOY" Race piloting the Skyranger.
The three pilots swiftly moved to engage their targets.
Combat was brutal and swift, lasting for a mere two minutes.
Bonnie "FATBOY" Race downed two alien craft.
Jay "FROSTY" Harvings downed one alien craft.
Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" downed no alien craft, and will be placed under review.
One electroplasmic shield was recovered from the alien wreckage.
Journal of Jacob ReidSaturday, Janurary 1st, 2067 (cont.):The goddamn pilots are back from their first mission. Couldn't have gone better! If things keep on going on like this, those goddamn aliens won't know what happened to
them! Of course the only problem was that some idiot under-stocked us with X-Winders. It's a good thing that I've already ordered some, but I'm placing another order for them. You can't be too careful.
Sunday, Janurary 2nd, 2067:The new goddamn pilots finally arrived. Their names are... uh,
Ashana "GOFORTHEEYES" Dularac and
Nirur "MEATSHIELD" Torir. I've assigned Ashana to the Skyranger for now. It's just a temporary thing. I'll go through everything later. For now it's time for boozing.
X-COM LOG: 03-01-2067At 0123 hours an alien squadron was detected by Fort Skyworth. Interceptors were scrambled.
The alien craft were intercepted at approximently 0245 hours. The pilot commands are as follows:
Rookie Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith piloting the Burning Sock.
LT. CMDR. Jay "FROSTY" Harvings piloting the Boatmurdered.
CMDR. Ashana "GOFORTHEEYES" Dularac piloting the Skyranger.
Combat lasted for less than two minutes. All pilots downed one alien craft each.
One electroplasmic shield was recovered from the alien wreckage.
As a result of his efforts, Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith has been promoted to ensign.
Journal of Jacob ReidFriday, Janurary 14th, 2067:Things have been quiet the past few weeks. Emphasis on 'have'.
An alien squadron was detected over by Tad-Tech. It's moved in to attack their outpost. Now if we lose this outpost thingy then the entire company in that system blows up or something. That ain't good. If we lose this outpost, we'll lose a chunk of our funding. But if we destroy all the fighters, well, maybe Tad will kick us back a little extra, eh? And even if we do mess up, well, at least it's just some dumb corporate headquarters and not the Fort.
X-COM LOG: 14-01-2067At approximately 0302 hours X-COM fighter craft arrived at the Delphi system to help Tad-Tech forces engage four alien fighter craft. The pilot commands are as follows:
Ensign Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith piloting the Burning Sock.
LT. CMDR. Jay "FROSTY" Harvings piloting the Boatmurdered.
CMDR. Ashana "GOFORTHEEYES" Dularac piloting the Skyranger.
Combat lasted for slightly over two minutes.
During that time period alien broadcasts were transmitted to the X-COM fighter craft. These broadcasts were encrypted with the latest X-COM encryption codes.
The mission was carried out successfully, with no loses to any X-COM craft.
Ashana "GOFORTHEEYES" Dularac downed three alien craft.
Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith downed one alien craft.
Jay "FROSTY" Harvings downed no alien craft.
Journal of Jacob ReidTuesday, Janurary 18th, 2067:I don't know what's more scary, the fact that the goddamn aliens have figured out our goddamn encryption codes, or that they're such idiots that they blew their chance! For percaution's sake I've scrambled up the code for the next few days. That ought to keep them guessing. Seems to have worked too. We detected a bunch of aliens a while back, but they blew right past us. I've got the boys flying about looking for them. It won't be long now until we find them.
Uh... The living quarters with their goddamn Jacuzzis are finished, so I hired a couple more pilots to help out. Money's getting tight, so I figure that it's best to get some more as soon as possible. Let me see here... Ah, here we go. Their names are...
Jay "EXPENDABLE" Cin and
Karl "MONKEY" Head. We'll bundle them into training as soon as it's ready.
X-COM LOG: 19-01-2067At 0204 hours X-COM craft intercepted a group of alien fighters presumably investigating nearby systems for minerals. The pilot commands are as follows:
Ensign Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith piloting the Burning Sock.
LT. CMDR. Jay "FROSTY" Harvings piloting the Boatmurdered.
CMDR. Ashana "GOFORTHEEYES" Dularac piloting the Skyranger.
An alien corpse was recovered from the wreckage of the battle.
CMDR. Ashana "GOFORTHEEYES" Dularac downed two alien craft, while Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith downed the other one.
Journal of Jacob ReidWednesday, Janurary 19th, 2067:Missile stores are running low, so I'm selling some of the captured alien gear to cover the costs of buying new ones.
Twenty more missiles ought to hold us for a little while.
Friday, Janurary 21st, 2067:Goddamn it! I knew that things were going too well to be true! We lost our first goddamn fighter craft today in a goddamn skirmish.
Ensign, uh, Jimmy "IDONTWANNADIE" Smith was piloting the goddamn Burning Sock when the aliens filled him full of hot plasma. It's a good thing that he died in the explosion, else I'd wring his neck myself! Oh, that's a million bucks down the drain thanks to that bloody idiot! We don't even have that kind of money! We can't even sell our excess alien junk to get that kind of money!
...
What the hell do you mean, Mullar! This is a goddamn war! I don't care how goddamn callous I am! Pilots are a dime a freaking dozen! If I cared about every single man who's died under we Earth would be bloody flooded by now!
Bah, kids these days.
The only consolation I get out of this entire thing is that the bloody bastard managed to shoot down an alien craft before he died, the stupid git.
...
Mullar! Cancel my goddamn appointments for today! I'm drinking myself into oblivion, and there ain't nothing you can do about it!
Friday, Janurary 21st, 2067:Ah, Jesus. I don't need this. My head feels like it's been hit with a sonic pulser and I've got a meeting the head of X-COM in... twenty minutes. Something about a kooky cult back on Earth. Hold on a second, I've got it somewhere...
Here we go. The cult of Sirus is complaining about my goddamn policies. Goddamn hippies. If I had my way I'd shoot the lot of them and that'd be that. Ugh...
Tuesday, Janurary 25th, 2067:I don't care Mullar! Just find a way to get rid of it.
But sir, the GSC-I don't give a damn TIM! Just leave me alone!
...
Right, now where do I begin? Well, the GSC has finished it's work on that fake elerium stuff.
I won't try to say that I understand any of it, but as far as I'm aware they've found a way to make the stuff, so maybe they'll finally let me retire.
While the Galactic Science Corporation has found a way to synthesize elerium, the amount of energy required is large enough to be unviable for commercial-Shut up TIM! Right, problem number 2 is TIM. Those GSC bastards decided to include some goddamn spyware with the download package.
I am not spyware! I am an autonomous artificial intelligence designed to advise you on what the efforts of the Galactic Science Corporation should be directed on for the good of X-COM and all of humanity!Yeah? Well why didn't you start researching advanced lasers instead of those goddamn tractor beams like I told you to?
With the current attack on Fort Skyworth, I'd thought that X-COM could use the extra firepower.Ah, right. Problem number 3.
X-COM LOG: 25-01-2067At 1920 hours X-COM fighter craft were scrambled to deal with the alien attack on Fort Skyworth.
While outnumbered, Jay "FROSTY" Harvings and Anshana "GOFORTHEEYES" Dularac could count on the support of weaponry mounted on Fort Skyworth.
Intense missile fire was launched by both forces.
The alien craft made several attack runs on Fort Skyworth, which were absorbed by the station's shields.
Jay "FROSTY" Harvings is reported to have downed a couple of fighters in the battle.
However heavy enemy fire incapacitated the Boatmurdered.
Search and rescue missions failed to find Harvings after Fort Skyworth drove off the rest of the attackers.
Jay "FROSTY" Harvings is missing and presumed dead.