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[Frumple]

Kick it int'overdrive. Go with ants.

Alternately, bed bugs, so that they become smart enough to know why we kill the bastards. It might be interesting to have another sentient species around that we humans would actually unite together in attempt to genocide, and those are one of the handful of species the chances of us finding common ground are pretty much nil.

Haha, seriously though just go with chimps and get it over with. And then teach them how we did it and pass the buck down. wait shit no

platypus

[Eagleon]

Moles. While still giving them digging capability/instincts. Sounds weird, I know, but we could never enslave them without some pretty dire consequences (oh, you're holding some of us in camps to dig out your uranium pits? How about we undermine a skyscraper or two), and they could help us dig out awesome mountain-homes to peacefully-coexist-style. They've already sort of got arms/hands, even.

Failing that, squid/cuttlefish/octopus, for some of the same reasons, and because they've already got awesome brains. edit: cuttlefish are also adorable.

[Descan]

Elephants, crows, or octopi. Dolphins can go suck an egg, I don't want a race of raping necrophiliacs running swimming around.

[scrdest]

Elephants, crows, or octopi. Dolphins can go suck an egg, I don't want a race of raping necrophiliacs running swimming around.

Crows. They can mimick human speech already, dammit.

[Reelya]

Elephants, crows, or octopi. Dolphins can go suck an egg, I don't want a race of raping necrophiliacs running swimming around.

Ducks, then. Nothing can go wrong with uplifting ducks (you've probably all seen this at this stage though).

[Helgoland]

Orcas. We don't exactly compete for resources with them, and they're friggin awesome.

[lemon10]

Kick it int'overdrive. Go with ants.

This. Sentient ants would be amazing. It would probably result in huge biosphere ending problems (which includes the death of humanity as a minor footnote), but it would be amazing.

[Il Palazzo]

It seems like a good idea not to uplift any species that we might've been dicks to sometime in our long and dickishnessfull history. After all, what's the point, if afterwards you need to kill them all in a bitter war of vengeance?
Which leaves, what? Rock eating bacteria?

[kaian-a-coel]

...cats? Okay, we might have burned them as witches' pets at some point, but also revered them as gods for millenias and are now making them the center of the Internet, so it more than balances out I think.

[Il Palazzo]

I'm not sure. Have you ever read the ingredients box on cat food cans? Generations of being fed that stuff may be taken as eugenics or mass-sadism.

[10ebbor10]

I'm pretty sure we've tortured every species at some point in it's existence.

[Putnam]

Elephants, crows, or octopi. Dolphins can go suck an egg, I don't want a race of raping necrophiliacs running swimming around.

Ducks, then. Nothing can go wrong with uplifting ducks (you've probably all seen this at this stage though).

I like how it says "scientifically accurate" but still depicts the flu as causing any gastrointestinal symptoms whatsoever :I

Nah, it's more like a cold with brown snot and more moaning and fever and everything is worse all the time.

(I had the H1N1 swine flu back when that scare was going on)

[scrdest]

I'm not sure. Have you ever read the ingredients box on cat food cans? Generations of being fed that stuff may be taken as eugenics or mass-sadism.

My cat loves it anyway. It's like arguing that if aliens were responsible for beaming us down the recipe for hamburgers, we would hate the aliens.

[Il Palazzo]

Hamburgers have not nearly as little meat and as much ash as cafood. If your cat could read, it would murder you and eat your liver.

[Frumple]

If cats could read and were large enough to take us in an open fight, they would murder us and eat our livers, but that has nothing to do with what we feed them or the ability to read. They'd murdernom us because they're (cute, fuzzy, purr-y) sadistic little murderbeasts that murdernom basically anything that can't fight them off and some things that can.