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[Ross Vernal]

Because he was responsible for "solving" the orphan crisis and the shortage of meat for the orphans at the same time.

Also, he does really funny things to corpses that you don't want to ask about and try not to think about.

Take him to the personal armory, and if he asks as to why these shouldn't be sold, make up an explanation as to "limited gold supply"; "Do you really think it's such a good idea to just hand off an artifact of doom to the highest bidder which may or may not be the ancient cult?"

The hero is clearly an idiot.

It is clear that he must slowly be corrupted into being another Evil Overlord, who you mercifully remove him from power and feed just enough people to other people to where the people are either terrified or fed into sullen co-operation.

[Yoink]

Because he was responsible for "solving" the orphan crisis and the shortage of meat for the orphans at the same time.

This, more specifically he 'solved' these two problems with a particularly nasty necromantic experiment which involved the entire orphan problem- All several dozen of them- being horribly grafted together into a towering, lumbering mass of writhing flesh held together by the foulest of magic. And staples. A lot of those. That bastard necromancer almost emptied the treasury on all those damned staples.

As for the 'experiment', it still lumbers through the deeper parts of the dungeons sometimes, and you really would rather the hero didn't find out about it. You call it 'Bob'. Occasionally you chuck it a peasant or two, but again, another thing the hero need not know about...

[IronyOwl]

the best swordsman to ever live. This was a fluke.

Are we lying to ourselves? Our life is more important then our pride.

That's debatable.

However, you SUPPOSE, if you were being COMPLETELY and UTTERLY honest with yourself, you might be forced to admit that certain theoretical people might theoretically be theoretically better than you in some theoretical ways.

Or, put another way, there's some things you don't think it would be a good idea to attack with a sword. The hero apparently being one of them, though you still say he got lucky.

That said, there aren't a whole lot of those things, especially when you've got some faceless minions to command. Not that you're certain that'll be the case where you're going, unfortunately.

Because the only one who can do healing magic around here is the necromancer. And he whines a lot when you make him do it. It is also really painful and he says he can not help it, but you are pretty sure he does it in purpose to get out of more healing. (Also necromancers tend to be evil and might be hard to sell him to the hero.)

Because he was responsible for "solving" the orphan crisis and the shortage of meat for the orphans at the same time.

Also, he does really funny things to corpses that you don't want to ask about and try not to think about.

Take him to the personal armory, and if he asks as to why these shouldn't be sold, make up an explanation as to "limited gold supply"; "Do you really think it's such a good idea to just hand off an artifact of doom to the highest bidder which may or may not be the ancient cult?"

The hero is clearly an idiot.

It is clear that he must slowly be corrupted into being another Evil Overlord, who you mercifully remove him from power and feed just enough people to other people to where the people are either terrified or fed into sullen co-operation.

This, more specifically he 'solved' these two problems with a particularly nasty necromantic experiment which involved the entire orphan problem- All several dozen of them- being horribly grafted together into a towering, lumbering mass of writhing flesh held together by the foulest of magic. And staples. A lot of those. That bastard necromancer almost emptied the treasury on all those damned staples.

As for the 'experiment', it still lumbers through the deeper parts of the dungeons sometimes, and you really would rather the hero didn't find out about it. You call it 'Bob'. Occasionally you chuck it a peasant or two, but again, another thing the hero need not know about...

Oh that's right, you don't want to introduce the two because your healer is an insane butcher whose "healing" abilities are largely a side effect of his abomination against man and god creation abilities.

Yeah, that might be bad. You get the feeling he's not going to believe that you don't have a healer, though.


He asks well...? You tell him you're thinking about it. He asks what could possibly be so complicated that you need to think about whether you have a healer and an armory or not.

You almost say you need to think about that for a moment before recognizing a downward spiral when you see one. Er...

[Criptfeind]

Alright. I got a idea.

Inform him that we do in fact have a healer. But the issue is we don't know how many of our minions are evil, how many if any were controlled by the demon, how many if any still are controlled by the demon, and how many just are in it for the money. Thus we don't know how the healer will react.

Additionally although we were evil and brainwashed we can still remember the good times. Although you did many sicking things to people, not every action you did was evil. You still have fond memories of hanging out and being friends with some of your minions and so you really feel conflicted about killing your friends, or at least once friends. Thus we don't want to introduce them to the hero until we can get our emotions under control and figure out what to do.

Also I think we should take him to the personal armory. At this point getting good gear will help us far more then it would help him. He clearly is already a high powered hero to be able to beat us so he most likely already has great gear.

[Nirur Torir]

Your only healer got poisoned around a week ago and had to be taken to an outside healer. You were trying to calculate if he was likely to be nearly back yet. Unfortunately not.

We were also trying to decide whether or not to show him the storeroom of magical items. Emphasize that most of the weapons are probably cursed, and though you'd feel terrible if our savior were to grievously wound himself with one, you'll leave it up to him whether the risks are worth it, or if he'd prefer the trusted guards' armory. Either way, get ourselves a weapon from the guards' armory.

[Criptfeind]

Lets not kid ourselves. Hero is obviously retarded. Lets not take him to a place that might impower him to the point where he can kill all of us anyway.

Also what if we need the healer later? That would be hard to explain by a bit.

[Yoink]

Your only healer got poisoned around a week ago and had to be taken to an outside healer. You were trying to calculate if he was likely to be nearly back yet. Unfortunately not.

We were also trying to decide whether or not to show him the storeroom of magical items. Emphasize that most of the weapons are probably cursed, and though you'd feel terrible if our savior were to grievously wound himself with one, you'll leave it up to him whether the risks are worth it, or if he'd prefer the trusted guards' armory. Either way, get ourselves a weapon from the guards' armory.

I like this option.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

Gasp into a false realization that YOU used to be the healer, but your memory is so clouded with former EVIL that you don't remember your full craft yet.

Get your HEAL on by applying a bandaid over your wound and hoping it doesn't get infected.

[fergus]

Your only healer got poisoned around a week ago and had to be taken to an outside healer. You were trying to calculate if he was likely to be nearly back yet. Unfortunately not.

We were also trying to decide whether or not to show him the storeroom of magical items. Emphasize that most of the weapons are probably cursed, and though you'd feel terrible if our savior were to grievously wound himself with one, you'll leave it up to him whether the risks are worth it, or if he'd prefer the trusted guards' armory. Either way, get ourselves a weapon from the guards' armory.

I like this option.

Yes, let's do this.

[Criptfeind]

By the way, why are we the Emerald Overlord. I understand Overlord, but Emerald?

[Yoink]

It probably has something to do with those shiny things on our (sadly broken) crown.

[IronyOwl]

Your only healer got poisoned around a week ago and had to be taken to an outside healer. You were trying to calculate if he was likely to be nearly back yet. Unfortunately not.

We were also trying to decide whether or not to show him the storeroom of magical items. Emphasize that most of the weapons are probably cursed, and though you'd feel terrible if our savior were to grievously wound himself with one, you'll leave it up to him whether the risks are worth it, or if he'd prefer the trusted guards' armory. Either way, get ourselves a weapon from the guards' armory.

I like this option.

Yes, let's do this.

You explain to him that your healer was poisoned about a week ago and you had to take him to an outside healer, and were mentally trying to calculate whether he'd be back yet. Unfortunately not.

You further add that you were trying to decide whether to show him your storeroom of magical items- while powerful, they are dangerous and unpredictable, and you wouldn't want him to hurt himself using one of them. Still, you feel that should probably be his call.



The hero helps you to your feet, tells you you'll have to find you a healer later then, and says he'd like to take a look at this magical armory. The trip gives you a bit of time to think.

Gasp into a false realization that YOU used to be the healer, but your memory is so clouded with former EVIL that you don't remember your full craft yet.

Get your HEAL on by applying a bandaid over your wound and hoping it doesn't get infected.

You are fairly certain you are not a healer. Bandaging your wound would indeed be a good idea, though; you should look into that.

By the way, why are we the Emerald Overlord. I understand Overlord, but Emerald?

Probably some deep, intensely relevant, yet-to-be-revealed reason.

That or it sounded nicer than YOU ARE OVERLORD which was already taken at least twice anyway.


You arrive at the magical armory.


He seems to like what he sees.

Assuming this hero is also an adventurer, as you now assume, it's likely he'll be in there digging around for magical gear for a while. Adventurers are notorious for not being able to resist shiny glowy things, even when they already have something better and it's obviously a trap.

This gives you some time, but you're not sure how he'd feel or whether he'd notice if you ran off.

Plus, now you're curious what he'll pick out or experiment with. Is there anything you hope he gets, hope he doesn't get, or are just curious about? Or is it all the same to you?

[10ebbor10]

Ask permission to go looking for a sword in your guards armory, and to get a bandage of some sorts. If he refuses because we could betray him, say that he has already defeated us while we used our best gear. If he asks why we don't take from the magical inventory, say that you have got enough of magical items after being possesed by the demon.

Then go get gear from our private stock, and a bandage.

[Criptfeind]

Lets hope he gets the crown of change alignment. Or of turn into a god damned undead monster thing under your control.

Or at least something that does not fuck you over. Make sure to tally what he finds out is safe. See if you can get some of it for yourself.

[LordBucket]

Is there anything you hope he gets, hope he doesn't get, or are
just curious about? Or is it all the same to you?

Girdle of gender bending.

Not only would it be amusing, girls arms tend to be shorter, their elbow joints have a different angle and their overall center of balance is different. It will throw off his sword fighting.