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[bucket]

Well, tonight I'm about to go off on a mini-vacation with an old friend of mine. I say "friend" but of course it's not that simple. She and I have a long history together - not all of it positive - but let's just say there were romantic feelings at one point. I recently started talking to her again, and we're on good terms now, despite some of the things we've been through. I'm not about to go opening a can of worms.

We've both just gotten out of serious relationships and are at pretty low points in our lives. We're both broke and living at home, and scraping enough together for a day at the shore is a pretty big deal. So I'll be using this opportunity to try to rekindle old romance.

I do have my work cut out for me, as she's not good at expressing her emotions and likes for things to "just happen". So yeah, wish me luck.

[kinglog]

Good luck!

[LordBucket]

Good luck, bucket, from LordBucket.

May you both receive everything you want and nothing that you don't.

[optimumtact]

Good Luck

[Moogie]

Good luck, but don't force anything. She may appreciate your friendship; don't go and ruin it over such a thing as that funny feeling in the seat of your pants.

[Nightscar982]

Well, good luck for you then! But, out of curiosity, what made you/your freind decide on going to the shore?

[MaximumZero]

*hand on shoulder*

This, my friend, is how "friends with benefits" relationships start. Good luck.

[Yoink]

I have no idea whatsoever about this sort of thing, but you asked us to wish you luck, so: Good luck!

But yeah, I wouldn't try to force anything. From my scientific research of human relationships, friendship is far more valuable and long-lasting than romance... I haven't exactly done any field research, though.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

So....what advice would you like from us, here in Life Advice?

[bucket]

Well, I just got hit by a ton of bricks.

I learned quite a few things about her horrible relationship. I thought mine was bad; my ex was just a clueless twat who couldn't get her life together. Her ex became a drug addict and completely stripped her of her dignity.

He treated her badly, yelled at her, told her she was worthless. He wouldn't let her dress up or go out by herself. He would put her down and call her ugly and slutty. He wouldn't help out around the apartment or find a job. He spent all her money. He gave her an STD. He got her pregnant. They started a "baby jar", which he stole money out of to buy drugs.

She couldn't understand why he would turn like that. She started to believe everything he said. She came to a dead end in her life. She sat in the driveway one night, attached a hose to her exhaust pipe and decided to end it all. He found her, only unconscious, thank god, but the abuse didn't end.

It didn't end there. We talked about other things, and discovered the role of other people in keeping her and me apart. If certain things hadn't happened, she'd have been with me instead of this piece of shit.

I'm still trying to sort through all this in my head. I told her the only thing I'm really certain of is that I still want to be with her.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Now it's Life Advice time.

I'm still trying to sort through all this in my head. I told her the only thing I'm really certain of is that I still want to be with her.

I'm not going to tell you not to, but first consider:

I learned quite a few things about her horrible relationship. I thought mine was bad; my ex was just a clueless twat who couldn't get her life together. Her ex became a drug addict and completely stripped her of her dignity.

May be indicative of bad judgement on her part. May just have been bad luck. May have been that she was entrapped by a psychopath. Still something to keep in mind.

She couldn't understand why he would turn like that. She started to believe everything he said. She came to a dead end in her life. She sat in the driveway one night, attached a hose to her exhaust pipe and decided to end it all. He found her, only unconscious, thank god, but the abuse didn't end.

Definitely indicative of at least former suicidal depression. Definitely something to keep in mind. Don't treat her like glass, but don't disregard this either.

He treated her badly, yelled at her, told her she was worthless. He wouldn't let her dress up or go out by herself. He would put her down and call her ugly and slutty. He wouldn't help out around the apartment or find a job. He spent all her money. He gave her an STD. He got her pregnant. They started a "baby jar", which he stole money out of to buy drugs.

Firstly: Her ex somewhat fits the criteria of a psychopath. I'd advise you to do some light research on that, but researching psychopaths is scary.

Secondly: You know she has an STD. I would hope I need not tell you to take the proper precautions in light of that if you need to.

Thirdly: You are dealing with someone who has gone through a traumatizing experience. That does not necessarily mean she is traumatized, but exercise caution.

Fourthly: Should you really be telling us all this?

[Gamerlord]

I hope you can help get her through it.

[Ancre]

Hey, good luck, Bucket. I hope things will turn out all right for you two !

[bucket]

Fourthly: Should you really be telling us all this?

None of you know me personally. That's the great thing about the Life Advice board.

I'm reading up on dealing with trauma, among other things. The part that concerns me is that she wants to move away to start a new life. She's tired of taking a chance on people only to have them hurt her, but she's taking a chance on a place she's not famliar with?

She sticks around when she should run away, and runs away when she should stick around.

[ChairmanPoo]

None of you know me personally. That's the great thing about the Life Advice board.

It's a public board. Someone who does know you personally might identify the details. That's the problem about the life advice board.