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[Itnetlolor]

>Enter station "Red Dwarf".
>Learn of a traitor amongst us.
>Say "Fuck it." and hang out in the diner/bar. Eat to my heart's content.
>Fellow crew member hangs out with me and notices me getting noticeably fatter by the second.
>Drink more than enough booze to have a hangover for a week.
>Concerned crew member decides to help me out in the medical brig since I'm having a hard time moving around on my own.
>Crew member makes me some pills and gives me some.
>I shotgun maybe 2 bottles before passing out.
>I don't wake up. I do, then I don't; then I do again, then I don't. (Repeat 15x-odd times)
>Wonder what the hell happened to me, and what the pills were (they were unknown to me).
>Learn they were knockout pills so I can be gene manipulated back to normal. 1 pill alone being strong enough to take down a raging bull. (I took maybe the equivalent of 16 of them? All the booze didn't help either since I used some to wash them down as well (64x more powerful?))
>Be put into gene splicer anyway to clone a conscious, thinner version of me. Turns out the server that was built had the cloner all borked.
>In a desperate attempt to save me from death, I got my brain taken out of my body and put in a jar, then mounted on a machine.
>Wake up as IT-NET-101-OR Human-Cyborg Exterminations Relations.
>Wonder what the hell happened.
>Head back to bar to get a drink.
>Server crashes or we agreed to quit a slow server (apparently the traitor left long ago).

I have other pretty funny experiences, I just need to remember them. Besides being turned into a Clownburger, that had to be one of my funniest deaths/resurrections.

[612DwarfAvenue]

>Enter station "Red Dwarf".
>Learn of a traitor amongst us.
>Say "Fuck it." and hang out in the diner/bar. Eat to my heart's content.
>Fellow crew member hangs out with me and notices me getting noticeably fatter by the second.
>Drink more than enough booze to have a hangover for a week.
>Concerned crew member decides to help me out in the medical brig since I'm having a hard time moving around on my own.
>Crew member makes me some pills and gives me some.
>I shotgun maybe 2 bottles before passing out.
>I don't wake up. I do, then I don't; then I do again, then I don't. (Repeat 15x-odd times)
>Wonder what the hell happened to me, and what the pills were (they were unknown to me).
>Learn they were knockout pills so I can be gene manipulated back to normal. 1 pill alone being strong enough to take down a raging bull. (I took maybe the equivalent of 16 of them? All the booze didn't help either since I used some to wash them down as well (64x more powerful?))
>Be put into gene splicer anyway to clone a conscious, thinner version of me. Turns out the server that was built had the cloner all borked.
>In a desperate attempt to save me from death, I got my brain taken out of my body and put in a jar, then mounted on a machine.
>Wake up as IT-NET-101-OR Human-Cyborg Exterminations Relations.
>Wonder what the hell happened.
>Head back to bar to get a drink.
>Server crashes or we agreed to quit a slow server (apparently the traitor left long ago).

I have other pretty funny experiences, I just need to remember them. Besides being turned into a Clownburger, that had to be one of my funniest deaths/resurrections.

Hell yes, i miss Red Dwarf.

Far as i can remember, since we never managed to get anyone who could code, we never managed to get the Cloner fixed .

[buckets]

You're not doing it right. You're supposed to use greentext as well.

Please no.

gb24chin ty

+1
The less this place has to do with that den of pedos the better.

[612DwarfAvenue]

You're not doing it right. You're supposed to use greentext as well.

Please no.

gb24chin ty

+1
The less this place has to do with that den of pedos the better.

I say again:

>In a thread where we post using ">"

By your argument, this very thread shouldn't exist.

[buckets]

You're not doing it right. You're supposed to use greentext as well.

Please no.

gb24chin ty

+1
The less this place has to do with that den of pedos the better.

I say again:

>In a thread where we post using ">"

By your argument, this very thread shouldn't exist.

Indeed.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

>
>
Is concise. Verbosity kills these stories.

[Fredson]

>Station blows in half after 5 minutes of play
>grab exo gear and rescue cut off people
>friend dies randomly, gets revived as robot, has lost his memory (rp)
>setting up evac camp in med bay
>trying to repair massive damage for 2 hrs (!!), occasionally doing tasks for the colonel who tries to maintain order and get shit running again
>becoming colonels person of trust in the mischief (basically I now was second in command)
>a lot of random stuff happens
>talking to colonel about leaving the station
>colonel still in shock (nice rp there), refuses to call rescue shuttle
>"we have to keep this station at all costs"
>robot friend and I knock down colonel
>call rescue shuttle
>bring everyone to the shuttle bay, even the knocked out colonel
>shuttle arrives, colonel wakes up, moans over the shame of failing our mutual mission but is thankful for saving everyones lives
>all aboard the shuttle, random guy releases toxic gases
>everyone dead

I'm sorry if I got some things wrong but this was at least 2 years ago when I actually still played SS13. The round lasted half the night, 4hrs at least, and
was the most awesome round ever. I felt like a hero in my exo gear and that giant rip in the station made up for an awesome scenario of total devastation. The guy who killed everyone in the end was the same guy who blew up the station. His goal was to kill some random dude nobody cared about and he did it quite the cool way. Now I'm tempted to start playing again :-/

[Xeron]

>Be Chief Engineer
>Get into a polite argument with a chaplain as to why his God doesn't exist
>Get convinced to pray
>Pray and get X-ray Vision,Hulk and the other beneficial mutation
>Walk around the station helping people out
>Enter the brig to deliver a prisoner
>Wait there
>Shitcurity starts attacking me because i was *trespassing*
>Be put into the brig
>Laugh at assholes forgetting to even cuff me.
>Smash wall and release a friend that was brigged for nothing
>Attack the shitcurity in retaliation
>Run around the dark corners of the station attempting to hide from the shitcurity
>Shitcurity shoots me with guns
>Be close to death
>Awesomely beat the fuck out of shitcurity but was persuaded RPly by the AI not to murder them
>More shitcurity comes ,shoots me and spaces me
>Ragequit

[fenrif]

>
>
Is concise. Verbosity kills these stories.

O hy, it da trrble 4mat thrd. My 1st tme so ber wid me. Am a dun it rite? dis is as shrt as i can mak it. My stry wll B da bst bcuz A dnt us bgword or pnctatn.1 tme a ply SS13 an stff happn n it 's fny. gys wer lyk lol u din stf wrng an a sed no lol u din stf wrng an den gam over.

Hey that was fun. My story is the best because for some bizzaro world reason SS13 stories are killed by verbosity, and the only other option than verbosity is asenine formatting memes from 4chan. Of course it's kind of wierd that these stories are the only ones in the history of mankind that need to be formatted this way in order to work. Some might argue that anything you say with this memetical formatting could be said just as well if not better in the normal grown up formatting that's used for every other story, and still be just as concise. But to them I say INB4 CATURDAY new(homophobic epithet), (racial epithet), and then post a picture of my dick.

[jaxy15]

>Clown, clowning around in the bar.
>Chef walks right up to me and rips off my mask.
>He stuffs it in a microwave along with flour.
>He places the clown burger on the counter.
>I eat it.

[Rakonas]

>/tg/station a year ago
>Be Librarian Head Rev
>Spawn revolver
>Walk to HoP window
>HoS Cuban Pete is there.
>Put ID on counter and say I'd like my job changed to HoS
>Fire 3 shots across the counter, Cuban Pete in critical condition instantly
>HoP walks in
>"Hey HoP, could you fix my ID? It's supposed to say HoS"
>He does it, hands it back, laughing his ass off
>Walk in, kill HoP
>Go into bridge, kill RD
>'The Revs have won!'
Granted the Captain joined late, but still the fastest rev round I've ever witnessed.

[Itnetlolor]

>Clown, clowning around in the bar.
>Chef walks right up to me and rips off my mask.
>He stuffs it in a microwave along with flour.
>He places the clown burger on the counter.
>I eat it.

Similar story.

>Same server (Red Dwarf)
>Was a clown attempting to joke with everyone, acting Pennywise while at it.
>Learn about a traitor amongst us.
>Hang out at diner and decide to prank the chef.
>Get stabbed repeatedly by the chef (who is the traitor), and knocked unconscious from rapid blood loss (not dead yet).
>While unconscious/waking up I hear a loud grinding noise.
>Can't feel my feet, then legs, then arms and torso, then neck anymore.
>Wake up as a burger being served to an unwitting customer chowing down on my nose.

[jaxy15]

>Botanist. Growing stuff for chefs.
>AI goes rogue, starts demanding veggies, threatens to call escape shuttle and attacks captain.
>Grow cabbages for rogue AI.
>Botanist buddy kills cabbages.
>Attack botanist buddy.
>Try to feed him remaining cabbages.
>Take crowbar, he knocks me down and takes it.
>Take mini-hoe, he avoids attacks.
>Throw bucket. Miss.
>Collapse and die.

[jaxy15]

Not TRYING to double post, but what just happened was too great to NOT share.

>Chemist
>Other chemist suggests making drugs
>Make space drugs, inject them into me and the other guy
>Inject sulfuric acid into self
>Friend goes to patient room, blows self up
>Die from acid injection
>No one really knows what happened

[Rakonas]

Not TRYING to double post, but what just happened was too great to NOT share.

>Chemist
>Other chemist suggests making drugs
>Make space drugs, inject them into me and the other guy
>Inject sulfuric acid into self
>Friend goes to patient room, blows self up
>Die from acid injection
>No one really knows what happened

>Scientist
>Make space drugs
>Become addicted to space drugs
>Learn to transcend the limits of physical reality as my eyes open to new truths
>Lock myself in lockers and teleport through closed doors like a god
>Confuse everyone