Turn 11Hey guys! Sorry I was busy, I had business with the girlfriend's family and I also got Fallout: New Vegas, that's pretty fun, not sure it's as good the- OH SHIT WHOAH SO MANY POSTS. I have a sneaking suspicion that my threads get exponentially more popular the less I update them. Oh- and be aware that I will from now on kill anyone who rolls the same natural (before bonuses/penalties) number twice in a row. Just because I'm cruel (well, that and there's a ton of you) I'm including last turn's rolls. Also, if your next turn is your last (3 if you've killed someone, four if you haven't) you get to make two actions. Lucky you!Noodlrex - Myranosaurus Vex: You are an upstanding, vicious dinosaur and have no intent of being upstaged by that hack
Tyrannosaurus! You flail your dead caveman around and get to work biting heads! (1) However, as soon as you let out your first roar, a rogue DJ smacks you in the face so hard that you
LOSE MOST OF YOUR DAGGER-SIZED, SERRATED TEETH. Before you can gnash out at him, he vanishes into the shadows of the deep cavern- you aren't sure what you did to deserve that. Relatively undeterred, you rush off to find some prey! (5-1)vs(3) Using your own enormous, toothless head, you bite off the head of some random jerk. And you didn't even need teeth! Let's see Tyrannosaurus pull
that stunt! You're so awesome, the very cavern shudders beneath your feet!
FingO - Tinkerbell the Magnificent: You enter the cavern, prepared to ruthlessly pursue your tooth-gathering campaign. (1) As your start to look around, you find a lot more teeth than you expected- a pile of dagger-sized, serrated teeth falls on your head. Because your tiny fairy self is roughly dagger-sized as well, these are considerably more injurious than they might be to a normal person. You have a lot of teeth now, but you are
IMPALED and
BLEEDING DRASTICALLY. What's more, it feels like there's an earthquake!
Tiruin - Melanos Svarrich: It was one day long ago, you strayed down a trail you didn't know. You've found yourself in a dark cave, you hope that it won't mark your grave. You know what, fuck it, I won't rhyme, or this post won't get done on time. You set down your spear and lay on the cavern floor, meditating. (3) After some time, you see your animal guide come to you. Unfortunately, you weren't concentrating very well, so
YOUR ANIMAL GUIDE IS A WEASEL SMOKING A JOINT. "Yo..." Says the spirit weasel. "You need to...
*toke* re-laxxxx, man..." You allow him to continue, hoping for some sage advice amongst his cryptic statements. "Now listen, if you ever like, get in trouble... uh... sorry man. I can't concentrate. I've got the munchies somethin' fierce, man." The imaginary weasel takes another toke as you stare in consternation. You lose your concentration as the ground shakes beneath you, and the weasel vanishes.
lopocozo - Mikey: You take advantage of your reprieve from monstrous rodents and snatch the tape. Staggering to your feet, you look for exits. (5) Before your very eyes -you check twice to make sure it's really there, you didn't see it before- is a passage in the wall of the cavern, well lit and with stairs. Beyond merely your compulsion to escape, you feel drawn towards it, and start to limp in its direction. (2) You are close to salvation when, out of the passage, a man in incredibly baggy pants, a hoodie, and a backwards cap blocks your progress. "Sorry, homie- can't touch this." While you're still bewildered, the passage disappears, along with the mysterious figure. You
COLLAPSE AND DIE FROM YOUR WOUNDS.
Windpoison - Dr. Whom, PI: You put on your sunglasses. Congratulations, you can
BARELY SEE! (6) Despite this impediment (you consider charging the glasses with obstruction of justice, but you aren't a real cop) you single out one corpse -no, field of meat- for inspection. You determine that it was a gerbil, cut down with incredible amounts of gunfire from the direction of...
THOSE HOOLIGANS! You see, indeed, a bunch of hooligans with guns in a car. You prepare to make an arrest, but suddenly (4)vs(3) a giant dinosaur
BITES YOUR HEAD OFF! Naturally, you are
DEAD.
Spinal_Taper - Randolph: You ponder of a kernel of an idea, from a strange recurring dream you have whenever your eat too many Slim Jims. In it you have a simple, white ball- a device of mass destruction, of some kind. (5+1) You see the thing in front of you, just as smooth and featureless as it was. You hold it in your hands and will it to activate. Nothing at all appears to happen. Little do you know, however, that you have just completely razed Australia, leaving behind only a field of blackened islands with surfaces of glass. You vaguely wonder if you've done something of that nature as you wipe some drool on your sleeve. Moments later, the cavern shakes!
agentorangesoda - Higgs-Boson: (3) Through conscious will, you add energy to the Higgs field. You manipulate this energy to make sure Randolph's thing goes over as well as it can. And boy, it DOES do its thing. The Higgs in the cavern is a' rockin' and a' rollin' from the impact.
Tsuchigumo550 - Nikolai: You take your keg of vodka- yes, a keg. Normally, vodka doesn't come in a keg, and for a reason. Disregarding health and safety, you begin to chug- (1) you
CHOKE ON THE VODKA! Gagging and sputtering, you drop the keg and it drains you. You haven't imbibed enough to gain any kind of super powers, it seems. The earth shudders, and a stalactite falls down! (2-1) Still sputtering, you completely fail to avoid it, and you are
BRAINED BY FALLING ROCKS. Because your brains are no longer inside your skull, you are
DEAD.
hachnslay - The @:
..Mf.....
.......U.
...@.....
....U....
.........
(6) You strike the TOWNSPERSON.
The TOWNSPERSON is wounded! The TOWNSPERSON drops its weapon!TCM - puTac: You jump on the roof of your homies' car and ride like a mofo. (2) Unfortunately, Jose is driving drunk- and he mainlined four pounds of heroin. He steers the car down a random passage, the smashes into several stalagmite, throwing you from the vehicle, where you are
BRUISED AND BLUDGEONED from the impact. You're the lucky one, though- you've been flung on the west side of a
LARGE, SEEMINGLY BOTTOMLESS TRENCH which Jose pilots the car and all of your homies into, where they fall to certain fiery concussive death. You ascend thus to godhood, having learned that driving drunk and on heroin is unsafe, if not ethically 'wrong'. You are
KING PUTAC OF THE WESTSIDE.
zomara0292 - Copy: Intent on following the legacy of Robert, the great underwater basket weaver, you set out into a dangerous environment with nothing but your crochet needles. But wait! You forgot yarn! (2) You start to look for a yarn store, but an adventurer attacks you! You
LOSE SOME HIT POINTS, and what's worse,
DROP YOUR NEEDLES! And unfortunately no, you don't find a yarn store. You'll probably have to find some other source of thread.
Caerwyn - Murasaki: (3) While forcing me to go to google to figure out what I'm supposed to picture because I don't watch the animes, you split yourself into clones! However, you only manage an underwhelming grand total of
THREE MURASAKIS. On attempts to protect you (6-1) and proceeds to stand next you, literally breathing down your neck, causing you to be
RATHER UNCOMFORTABLE. You get the feeling that these Murasakis aren't all there mentally... The other goes off to attack someone (5-1). It pounds its fists on a giant dinosaur, and strong though the clone may be, the dinosaur doesn't even seem to notice. You hope you can get your act together if you're going to fight that kid!
You won't let him outwit you again...
Jegus. I'm finally done. I think I was planning on writing more here but ugh. Blugh. Phew. Oh, and TCM has a god action. And IronyOwl too still, maybe? I dunno. So tired.
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Topic: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 12 (Join Fast Any Time) 24 Deaths and counting! (Read 22773 times)