Turn 9 from Outer Space
Welp! Let's get another one over with.
Scelly9 - Mark: You attempt to rip off your clothes and bind your gunshot wounds like some kind of action movie badass (1) but you have a brief intersection with the real world and just aggravate your wounds trying to get your shirt off. You start to see darkness around the edges of your vision. Furthermore, (1-1) you realize that your lack of gnarliness has angered the vengeful and jealous rap gods, when a fissure in the ground opens up and emits blinding white rays of pure awesome. It's so awesome that your mere mortal body can't handle it, and you are COMPLETELY OBLITERATED, so much so that you are MORE THAN DEAD; YOUR SOUL IS CLAIMED TO THE INFERNO FOR ALL ETERNITY. So, you would've died anyway, but it really adds a little cherry on top.
Noodlerex - Hans Handerson: Having observed a very consistent pattern of people near you dying extremely horrible deaths, you decide, and not unreasonably, to not be where you are right now. You book it out of there! (6)vs(3) Your cover an impressive amount of ground in precious little time, thoroughly evading the murderous furry creature that interrupted your battle earlier. However, when you finally stop running, you realize you've come far from the warm light of the bonfire. You're in a dark tunnel, with only echoes of the chaos earlier still audible. Barely able to see, you reach for a wall to lean against and collect yourself. Instead you lean up against, much to your dismay, something furry. Something huge. Immediately it releases a foul murderous shriek and you run back towards the bonfire and the large cavern. (3) As you come back into the light you see the form of your pursuer: A giant, vicious bunny. Oh, and you have no pants. Although unsure of the causes of this recent development, you at least permanently escape the bunny in become Hans Handerson, The Pantsless.
lawastooshort - Ran: As you expected, the nearest furless freak runs from you. (3)vs(6) However, your attempts to catch and kill it are completely fruitless, on account of your stubby little gerbil legs. You only manage to follow it to a dark tunnel. You decide to wait. Nobody lasts long in those dark, treacherous tunnels: it'll be back. (2) And it is back: When it is, it's followed by a giant monster rabbit. You don't see what happens to your quarry, but you DO see that, as they both run past you, the giant rabbit steps on. You, a gerbil, don't have the anatomical knowledge to know exactly what has happened to your body. You do know, however, that IT HURTS. OW.
anailater - Johnny Momma: Now without bullets, you walk over the finish off the bleeding cop with your knife. Which would be incredibly brutal and reprehensible if he were, in fact, a person. (1) As you swagger up to him, you are suddenly caught in an unexpected blast of pure awesome- targeted at the cop. You're left dizzied and without eyebrows, but not killed. It looks like the cop was completely destroyed. The Blast of Awesome, you reason, can only be an incidence of divine retribution, which really vindicates your "It's okay to kill cops" philosophy. With this revelation you feel enlightened. You are Johnny Momma, the Existentialist Gangster. As you leave the mortal world, you can't wait to explain your new views on the nature of existence to all of the other immortals.
lopocozo - Mikey: You very carefully slip closer. The animals are very intriguing. You think you even see a rodent towards the back of the pack stand up on two legs and raise its fore-paws to the sky in some kind of worship sign. You slowly adjust the focus on your camera, trying to get him clearly in frame, (2) when OH HOLY SHIT A GIANT RABBIT GOUGES YOU WITH ITS MENACING CLAWS. You're wounded somewhat badly. You even drop your camera! Despite all the pain, you sort of wish you could have recorded the incident somehow. For the time being though, you'll have to get away alive...
Nocholas1024 - Joshua: You go looking for your sword. (2)vs(6) Amongst a lot of commotion, including but not limited to rap beams from hell, falling chunks of burning metal and an angry giant rabbit, you have a lot of trouble finding your sword. Nonetheless you see a glint in the pool of water: There's a sword down there, and damn is it shiny! You quickly engage a pursuit of this marvelously shiny sword. This necessitates diving into the pool of water to reach it (1) which proves a bad idea. First the pool is a little deeper than it looked, and second off, you're a lousy swimmer. You pull the sword up out of the water, but not before almost drowning and taking in a few big gulps of the water from the pool. You lean up by edge and VOMIT BLOOD UNCONTROLLABLY. The pool is quickly turning crimson with your blood. Sure enough, the water was horribly poisonous, sapping your bodily fluids to the point of massive tissue trauma and exsanguination. It doesn't help that you already had large open wounds- those that stopped bleeding earlier have started again, and profusely. In other words, YOU VOMIT ALL YOUR FLUIDS AND DIE.
EveryZig - Greyblade: (6)vs(2) You SHINE as hard as you can, even making an audible TING sort of noise. Sure enough, your supernatural allure captures the attention of a human swordsman. He even goes so far as to dive into the pool of water for you. He's a terrible swimmer, actually. The useless bastard barely makes it down to where you are and almost drops you a couple times on the way back up! You're glad that he made it the first time though, because after he props you up on shore he starts dying. You're not sure why- it looks like his meat bags popped. Normally humans don't seem to lose all of their meat unless a sword cuts them, but hey, they're flimsy, you guess. Heck, YOU wouldn't be able to cut anything if you were made of bags of meat. But the important thing is that you're out of the water. It is your time to join the pantheon as Greyblade, Inveigler of Warriors.
DinosaurusRex_x - Starfox: Picking one of the little moving shapes on the ground at random, you bring your Arwing into a steep kamikaze dive within the tight confines of the cave. (2) As you're lining up with your target, an engine malfunction (helped along slightly by a very disgruntled God of Swag) blows up your craft entirely, so that only a cloud of small, burnt pieces of metal and roasted fox flesh reach the ground. Needless to say, you are DEAD.
TCM - puTac: Finding yourself deep within an unexplored cave, you promptly deal with your insecurity towards your agoraphobia by brashly declaring your WESTSIDE allegiance and decrying the Holy Name of MC Fly Money, hoping that your audacity will hide your immense fear of the dark, open spaces, and paranoia towards any and all possible sources of harm. You promptly panic and start firing your gun, (6) you shoot a giant rabbit- but it looks like you really only managed to piss it off. It turns to, bares its claws, and gives a horribly bunny-shriek.
Time to hit the sack! Lots of gods and deaths and stuff. Sorry to those of you who didn't quite make it, them's the dice! Losing is fun.