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Author Topic: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 12 (Join Fast Any Time) 24 Deaths and counting!  (Read 22544 times)

Yoink

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Re: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 2 (Join Fast Any Time)
« Reply #30 on: June 25, 2012, 08:19:29 pm »

((@ Imakuni: Your avatar seems somehow hideously appropriate, even if I have no idea where it is from. :P))
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Flintus10

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Re: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 2 (Join Fast Any Time)
« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2012, 08:33:35 pm »

Attempt to climb on the back of an elephant and tame it so that it may become my assistant.
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EveryZig

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Re: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 2 (Join Fast Any Time)
« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2012, 09:11:38 pm »

Ingest the human, thereby having lunch! :P
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Soaplent green is goblins!

Imakuni

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Re: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 2 (Join Fast Any Time)
« Reply #33 on: June 26, 2012, 12:25:39 am »

((@ Imakuni: Your avatar seems somehow hideously appropriate, even if I have no idea where it is from. :P))

Hah, that and what's under it. :P

I don't know where the picture is from either, but it's referencing that whole pool's closed thing.
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Urist McSurgeon: "Must remove the rot, yes.  This one is unclean, ssssss.  Purity of essence, yesss."
Urist McImmigrant: "Whhaa---aaaARRGHH OW!  MY PANCREAS!  AAAAGGHH!! THAT'S MY - NOOOOO---AAARRGHGHHH!!!"
Urist McImmigrant has suffocated.

Sensei

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Re: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 2 (Join Fast Any Time)
« Reply #34 on: June 26, 2012, 01:05:41 am »

Turn 3

So, we have three candidates for godhood this turn. Who will make it? Who will roll a 1? Who will just get screwed by someone else? Stay tuned to find out!

Spinal Taper - Pime Taradox: You aren't entirely sure why your leg is gone, but you know what? Might as well just keep cool. (5) You reverse time within your sphere by a brief time, and restore your leg. Good as new! But it looks like someone didn't notice, as a crazy many with a stick shouts, "YOU THERE, I WILL RESTORE YOUR LEGS!" And, *POP*, you grow two extra legs out at funny angles. It's incredibly painful.

IronyOwl - Salwir: Having tamed a lion, you're understandably feeling pretty proud of yourself. As you begin to strut your stuff though, you LET OUT A NASTY FISH FART. Much like how a cat reacts to the sudden smell of a can of tuna being opened, the lion senses your fishy smell and its ears perk up in hunger. With you still on its back, the lion turns a few circles, trying to find the smell. (1) Then, despite your best efforts, you let out another one. The lion rather quickly become un-tame, and MAULS YOU, THEN EATS YOU ALIVE. You are DEAD.

lawastooshort - Gertrude: Using skills gained in the great Jello Eating Contest of '85, you attempt to eat the ooze, even as it's trying to digest you. This calls for an OPPOSED DIGESTION ROLL! I'm even going to roll two dice together like they're fighting on my desk. I picked out an oversized translucent yellow one for the ooze and a regular white one for you. You roll a 4- this would normally be a success, but THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Tune in to EveryZig's turn to see the result!

HmH - Nathan: You watch as the fellow whose leg you accidentally removed somehow brings his leg back by himself, but that doesn't stop you! You're going to show off your healing, dammit! (6) You shout, "YOU THERE! I WILL RESTORE YOUR LEGS!" You concentrate really hard and *POP*, BOTH OF YOUR LEGS DISAPPEAR, and the gentleman sprouts two incredibly painful looking extra legs. But psh, legs? Where you're going, you don't need legs. You understand that healing is the process by which one thing is brought to better use. And YOU BECOME NATHAN, TITAN OF TRIAGE.

agentorangesoda - MC Fly Money: (5+2) Defiantly in challenge of the Dark Prince, you unleash the Final Rhyme. The air around you bends into words as you will them. Without lungs, you don't need to stop to breath, without a brain, you don't need to think about what to say. You are a living conduit for Rhyme. The Dark Prince is Served, and exiled in shame. You become the Swag Prince of Inferno, and its Damned Souls are your backup dancers.

remalle - Robert: (1) You try to weave your hands so your hands will be better, but your hands need to be better to weave better hands. You ponder this paradox for a while, before you RUN OUT OF AIR UNDERWATER AND DROWN. The world may never know the awesomeness of your weaving skills again.

Tiruin - Fortuna: (Nice try)

Imakuni - Mikael Philps: Feeling boss, you challenge the alligator to a race. Since it can't talk, you just tease it by swimming in circles around it. (4+1) It chases you once again. You manage to tire it out so much that it gives up and collapses on shore. A laughing hyena shows up, just to laugh at the spectacle. You also succeed at failing to notice that much of the grass near the pond is now on fire. The hyena is promptly trampled by stampeding elephants, which are rushing into the pond from one side....

Flintus10 - Steve: Man, everybody has to push their luck with the elephants, huh? (6) You make a flying leap for an elephant close to the front of the stampede and climb onto its back, grabbing its ears to direct it. In a few clumsy motions, you accidentally cause the herd to follow you over some burning grass and straight towards the pond- you're about to launch straight in.

EveryZig - Glork: Well, it looks like the human is trying to ingest you! (4+1)vs(4) Of course, it's no use trying to out-digest an ooze- it's your special skill. You digest the pitiful human. The pitiful human is DEAD. You grow even larger still.

So, HmH and agentorangesoda managed to become Gods. This means you each get to add a rule or change the setting. My one limit on this is that your god action can't directly affect any other specific player (no "Pime Taradox gets struck by lighting!" or "Characters whose names start with P die!") You COULD say "One player gets struck by lighting every turn!" or "If you use the letter P in an action, you character dies!" You also obviously can't both change the setting to something else entirely at once, so if you want to change the setting you should probably conspire together.
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HmH

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Nathan, the Titan of Triage, issues a Rule: the Savanna's WATER has been FLUORIDATED. Interacting with it will SAP and IMPURIFY your PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS.

Flintus10

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Leap away from the elephants but leave my rigged cards. Watch the resulting explosion and claim it is my magic.
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Tiruin

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((You didn't say if I died, you know.  :-\))

A NAME: Talwar
-A GENDER: Male
-ONE SKILL: Guarding
-ONE ITEM: A Steel Arming Sword
-A BACKGROUND: Talwar is a guard of the realm, and about middle age. He lost a bet with a certain gambler and was evicted from his position with only his weapon to carry his memories because of that 'bet'.
-Your FIRST ACTION: Hunt and skin an animal that for it's pelt, wear said pelt as armor.
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agentorangesoda

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The Swag Prince of Inferno demands that all further posts require the use of at least one RAPPING METAPHOR OR SIMILE, lest they face the effervescently hostile HOT STYLE of the Swag Prince.

A rapping metaphor must either augment the user's social status or boast of ability, or demean the standing of an opponent.  Other acceptable, more advanced level metaphors, will involve the complacency of a socioeconomically skewed society and the government's efforts to maintain the status quo despite the suffering of the meek.  The swag prince also looks favorably upon wanton drug and alcohol use, as well as, almost paradoxically, both the acquisition and neglecting of bitches.

Example of a rapping metaphor or simile:  I kill the Mike like Conrad Murray; You were raised by a rat, like the ninja turtles; You can call me rent, because I am too damn high


Note: The Swag Prince will also accept, in lieu of a rapping metaphor, no less than a lukewarm freestyle. Additionally if an action is deemed to be sufficiently gangsta or to possess an appropriate element of swagger, a lack of metaphor or freestyle may be overlooked.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2012, 08:40:57 am by agentorangesoda »
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EveryZig

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Skill uncontested and human rival bested,
Glorp seeks something else to make ingested.
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Soaplent green is goblins!

lawastooshort

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Skill uncontested and human rival bested,
Glorp seeks something else to make ingested.

This deserves a bonus.
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Spinal_Taper

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Pime, forced to rhyme decides to revert time
back to before the leg based-crime.
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IronyOwl

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-A NAME: Akar
-A GENDER: Male
-ONE SKILL: Eating and killing delicious prey
-ONE ITEM: A large rounded shell; used to belong to some sort of giant mollusc
-A BACKGROUND: Akar was once a proud lion. Then he swore fealty to a giant mollusc for sanctuary from the inferno. Then he realized the mollusc was delicious. Now he's trying to ascend to godhood on his own.
-Your FIRST ACTION: Akar the Omniscient ain't got time for these fools, and he ain't got time for this water. Get on an elephant and away from this fray like a mayor gettin' away from the poor.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2012, 04:10:13 pm by IronyOwl »
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Imakuni

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Out of the pool strides Mikael triumphant
He turns around, toward the beasts elephant
(horrible)
Light shining, light reflected, fire burning, speedo slick
Toward the beasts a great beam of light shines straight from his... groin.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2012, 05:21:33 pm by Imakuni »
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Urist McImmigrant: "What?! Hey! What's going onnn---aaaaRRRGGHH!!"
Urist McSurgeon: "Must remove the rot, yes.  This one is unclean, ssssss.  Purity of essence, yesss."
Urist McImmigrant: "Whhaa---aaaARRGHH OW!  MY PANCREAS!  AAAAGGHH!! THAT'S MY - NOOOOO---AAARRGHGHHH!!!"
Urist McImmigrant has suffocated.

Sensei

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Turn 4

We've got some new rules,
and if you think they're crap
you'll have to deal with it,
so shut up and rap.
...but non-rappers are only going to be affected starting next turn.


Flintus10 - Steve: You figure, hey, time for a bigger disappearing act. (4+1) You take an incredibly great leap off of your elephant, and scatter your cards to the wind. The entire herd disappears, loudly and violently. And you know what? Now that you've leaped in the air, you don't feel like coming down. Instead, you are hoisted away by your own hidden wire, to the pantheon to become TRICKSTER-GOD STEVE.

Tiruin - Talwar: Now that you're out in the wilderness, you decide to go all survivalist and start making things out of animals- starting with armor. And what firmer skin to make armor out of than elephants? Ever fearless, you draw your sword on a herd of elephants, (6) all of whom promptly explode (in fear of your awesome fighting abilities, no doubt). You now have enough elephant skin to carpet a royal dining hall. For the time being, you just drape some over yourself.

EveryZig - Glorp Oops, I've been calling you Glork, haven't I? Anyway, you seek something else to ingest. You find a human with a shiny groin by the pond, and promptly slime right over him. (5+1) He is powerless to escape, and you digest him and become EVEN LARGER STILL, so that you Ascend to be GLORP THE ALL-CONSUMING.

Spinal_Taper - Pime Taradox: (4+1) With yet another bizzarre crime of "healing" rendered upon you, you decide it's time to take serious action: by doing the thing you did last time. You're more than handy with the time-stream manipulation now, though. With your growing skills, you're well beyond the dangers of turning yourself into a baby or trapping yourself in a paradox. With the ability to simply reverse any action rendered upon you, you are PIME THE IMMUTABLE.

IronyOwl - Akar: You prepare to charge onto the back of an elephant, but they all EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE (2) leaving you injured with chunks of elephant bone, and furthermore, without elephants. You do manage to deftly avoid the attention of a giant slime monster though. You are now in a smouldering field surrounded by UN-COOL LOSERS.

Imakuni - Mikael Philps: You clamber out of the SUDDENLY NASTY FLUORIDATED POOL. Still felling nasty, you try to show off to the elephants, which EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE. Then a GIANT SLIME INGESTS YOU. (1) You are powerless to escape, and you DIE.

Lots of Ascension this turn huh? Flintus10, Spinal_Taper and EveryZig get to make rules/changes. Also, feel free to sign up and all, since we've only got a couple of survivors. Oh, and remember to rap your actions!
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