Turn 8
Somewhat unexpectedly, you are now in a large cavern. Where stood the muddy pond is now a pool in the rock, slowly fed by drips of water from above. The ceiling is marked by stalactites, but the floor is relatively smooth. A few giant mushrooms stand up from the ground, and in the center of the cavern is a bonfire, which provides light- but not into the many dark passages which lead away. Occasionally strange, unnatural sounds emit from the darkness- or maybe only illusions, given credit by the whistling of wind in the gaping cavern.
Scelly9 - Mark: You stand in the savanna, wearily holding your shotgun. You regret ever firing on another human. Though you kept your badge and were cleared of all charges, the guilt stayed with you. They, the representatives from the force, made a pretty good case for you in court: you were panicked, you had been told there were armed people nearby, and you felt like you had to make a split-second decision. Maybe, you muse, it's time to just let it- OH SHIT SUDDENLY YOU'RE IN A CAVE! *BANG* *BANG* (6) You fire your shotgun at the first thing in front of you, startled by the sudden change in your surroundings. In fact, you fired it at another thing that startled you: A hideous mutant selling lemonade! You completely destroyed its head and shoulders. Actually, now that it's gone, you're not even sure if it's a hideous mutant, since you only saw it for a split second. You become INCREDIBLY DEPRESSED. (2)vs(6) A random gangster shoots you square in the chest. You fall down from the wound, you are BLEEDING PROFUSELY.
Spinal_Taper - BonnieClyde: Barely managing the anger from your Clyde side, you set out some lemonade. (2-1) Mustering all your effort to say it sweetly, you call out: "Would anybody like some-" *BANG* *BANG* You are almost COMPLETELY DESTROYED by two up-close twelve-gauge shotgun shells. You see Death himself (not that you have functioning eyes, or a head for that matter), in black robes. "So..." Says the skeletal figure, "I didn't think we would meet again quite so soon. You still have your papers from last time?" You are DEAD.
lawastooshort - Ran: You, in your ineffable gerbiltude, decide that at this very moment, there is nothing you could be doing with your life that is better than clawing someone's leg off and stabbing them through the kidney with their severed leg. With complete disregard for long-term career goals, you charge off to attack some fellow with a hammer. (3)vs(1) Sure enough your gerbiltude proved you wise, you chose a weak target who was already in another fight. You knock him down, gnaw off his leg, and stab him through the kidney with it. Huzzah! Victory for the gerbil!
Noodlerex - Hans Handerson: You plant your pole in the ground and dance on it, tearing off your impractical hammer pants in favor of the practical and sensible jeans you've been wearing under them all along. (6)vs(4) You and Ted both try to hit eachother- you dodge his blow and deliver a swift one to him with your pole. Altogether the state of affairs is extremely different from any stripper club you have ever attended or heard of, really.
DinosaurusRex_x - Starfox: Suddenly, you are in a cavern! Fortunately, the cavern is large, and it isn't your first time piloting your Arwing in a closed space. Unfortunately however, you are struck with a latent BEAM OF SWAG WRATH (5) which knocks out your shields, leaving you otherwise unharmed. You swing around for another strafing run on your newfound target, when another BEAM OF SWAG WRATH (5) hits you with only minor damage. You suppose you can count yourself lucky. You fire your lasers at the Hideous Thing, (3)vs(6) but miss. Something bounces off of the hull of your Arwing with a dull, metallic clang. It seems fine, but after a moment your left engine starts making a rattling noise...
anailater - Johnny Momma: You are pondering the merits of your gangster lifestyle for a while. You hold your actions up to several rubrics of ethics, in a search for justification, but to no avail. Pretty much every one dis-condones your very nature, and a few actually condemn you to various versions of eternal damnation. Eventually you decide that, by mereological existentialism, you wouldn't be yourself if you weren't a gangster. As a corollary, you decide that if anyone isn't a gangster, then they aren't themselves, and therefore, aren't human. Based on this logic, you justify shooting at a random cop you see. (6)vs(2) You hit him square in the chest and he falls down, bleeding. Ready to finish the job, you fire again, only to discover you've run out of ammo! What's more, you left your spare magazines in your other pants!
EveryZig - Greyblade: (2) You lead the possessed mortal to fight, but he throws you. You land in the pool of water! It would be horrible if your blade were to rust...
Scottsman - WarglGarbl: You know what's lame? Immutable laws of the physics. They're just so boring because they never change. So you know what? Instead of falling down, you're going to fall up. You manage to concentrate your will all on one thing- a miracle for a being of pure chaos. Being an aspect of nature more than a thing of the mortal world, you bend reality to your will. It looks like it's working... you think, "Fall up. Fall up. Fall up." ...and lo, you do indeed float upwards, high in the air. (2) Then, unfortunately, you continue to think. "Fall up. Fall up. Duck! Zebra. Actually, turtles are my favorite animal. SQUEERP. I should start brewing my own root beer. I bet I can think of an awesome name for it..." and so on, and so forth. All the while you aren't thinking about falling up, you're falling down, and from a great height as well. Sure enough, you hit the ground, SPLATTERING YOUR GUTS ACROSS THE ENTIRE CAVERN. You are now completely incapable of manifesting in any physical way- for all intents and purposes, insofar as it applies to a being of pure chaos, you are DEAD.
Nicholas 1024 - Joshua: You pick a random jerk to throw your sword at. Or rather, you pick a random jerk at which to throw your sword. In a bizarre result of a hidden dice throw, you throw your sword at a small spacecraft that's flying low in the cavern. (5) You make an excellent throw, but even so the sword just bounces off with a dull clang and falls down somewhere you don't see it. Or rather, it falls down into somewhere in which it can't be seen. Either way, you lose track of the sword.
Spectr - Ted: You take another swing of your hammer with pure banishing fury, (4)vs(6) but instead are rebuked with a blow from a metal pole by your dancing foe. The pole, you remark, is uncomfortably sticky. While you're still recovering from the blow (1)vs(3) you are attacked by an evil sentient gerbil that GNAWS YOUR LEG OFF and then STABS YOU THROUGH THE KIDNEY WITH IT. Alas, them's the breaks. You are DEAD. You reflect that... naw, you don't reflect anything. You're too busy being all Aaaaahhhhh, it hurts!
lopocozo - Mikey: Deep within a cave, found only after a long expedition through the savanna, you find what you've always dreamed of finding: a bunch of completely unrelated animals working together to draw satanic symbols in human blood. You see, you've been in quite the argument back at the anthropology bureau (more specifically, between the anthropology bureau and a number of pharmaceutical chemists on the subject of animal testing) about whether animals have a base concept of death and religion. It's really much more than you bargained for. (3+1) Being careful not to disturb the austere event, you kneel down with your camera and begin capturing footage that proves its existence irrefutably. You mostly manage to keep the camera steady, but unfortunately there's a good bit of lasers flying around and people shooting at eachother in the background. Still-! Wait until you can see the looks on the faces of those stooges back at the university after they see this!
Whew! Started writing this at 11:20 PM, finished around 1 AM. Don't expect an update tomorrow, I'll be attending 4th of July festivities. Another fun fact: Firefox wants to correct to word "gerbiltude" to "Vanderbilt". Oh, and Flintus10, IronyOwl, and BunnyBob yet still have unused God Actions.
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Topic: The HARDCORE RTD II: Turn 12 (Join Fast Any Time) 24 Deaths and counting! (Read 22546 times)