24th Hematite, 105, Early Summer
aussie walked down the stairs quietly to his work. The latest of the digging projects involved breaching the primary cavern layers to grab more of that raw charcoal the talking heads called 'Trees'. He didn't care what some people said, that they needed more variety in their wood or that some kid in the crafthall might just want a blue tree instead of a brown one. He knew what this was really about. The place he was looking for was on a single-tile stairwell that led straight down, which some people had begun to look at with awe and suspicion as it led straight to the main adamantine mines, which had just narrowly avoided disaster thanks to the quick thinking of one of the other Miners in the fort. He sighed and quietly wished lead poisoning upon her as he found the wall he was looking for and began digging.
Tink. Tink. Tink.Soon after he breached the cavern he was hit by a wave of damp, stagnant air. Best to not stay down here too long. Still, he smiled; the plateau on which he had emerged sported half a dozen pieces of raw charcoal within throwing distance, and many more were growing throughout the cavern. But he needed to remove the ra--
Thump.Instantly he snapped his head up and looked around. Despite the primary illumination of the cavern being a riot of glowing lichen and mushrooms, he could still see quite well, thank Armok he was born a Dwarf.
Krkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkr... The curious noise sounded vaguely like footfalls, if the owner of said feet possessed at least half a dozen all gyrating at high speed. He didn't have to listen too hard to tell it was getting louder. Taking a chance he rushed to the edge of the small plateau he had emerged on, and then he saw it.
That's gotta be the funniest lookin' crawdad I've ever seen, he thought inanely, then he realized it was headed right for him. He gritted his teeth and sprinted back the way he came, noticing that the ground beneath his feet was now alive with strange, tiny creatures running for cover. "
Splint!!" he shouted.
After clearing the opening, he jogged up the stairs almost leisurely, though he was still shouting for the military to get their asses down here. About time they got some real action; and some real food. The--
krakrakrakrak he still heard footfalls, though this time it was noticeably on stone. Aghast and unbelieving at how a crab that big could fit through a Dwarf-sized hole, he quickened his pace and reached the landing where the primary stairwell was located. Half of the Fortress guard were already there, accompanied by a few of The Boyz, with more filing down every few seconds.
"What's going on?" Erith Berudar, the recently appointed Captain of the Guard asked quickly.
"
What's going on?!" aussie nearly screamed. "A f***ing crab the size of a
house!!" he ran up the stairs to get out of their way.
Most of the inxperienced guards looked at each other in trembling fear, but the Boyz held their ground; indeed, to a man they licked their lips and 'mmm'ed in anticipation, fingering the hafts of their
meat tenderizers war hammers.
Soon after, it crawled up the service stairwell and stormed through the small connecting hallway, clacking its pincers.
Coming straight at them.
"Dibs!" one of the female Hammerdwarves shouted with glee and charged.
"...what?" the addled soldier asked to no one in particular. No one really noticed, anyway; within seconds the entire Fortress military was committed. It was definitely a curious battle; some of them seemed to still be unarmed, punching and biting the creature whilst their companions plied adamantine edge and silver hammer. The crab hissed in fury at every strike, attempting to lash out at any opportunity. They gave it none.
It didn't take long for the Dwarves to gain an advantage. It was at least ten to one odds, and they all laid into the beast with great
hunger anger. It was certainly a messy fight; the creatures pain tolerance knew no bounds, and it was nearly impossible to hit a vital area beneath all that shell.
Finally the creature succumbed to the onslaught. Everyone tried to claim points for the kill, but it was truly unknown who had actually dealt the killing blow, or if the beast had finally died from simple blood loss -- for over five floors up and down half the main stairwell and the walls were
covered in blood. Miraculously, it seemed that
no one died or was even wounded a little. It was a textbook
feast preparation beast battle.
"Huh," Erith remarked. "Well that was... kind of underwhelming."
"Tel tat to mi toof," the female Hammerdwarf lisped. "Nah, just kiddin'." she smiled. "Hey, any idea where Splint is?"
They looked around. "You're right," Erith remarked. "hey, did anyone see him get killed?"
"Nah." they replied.
"Is he pinned under the body?"
"Nope." again.
"Well, guess we know who's got corpse hauling duty." And the defenders of the Fortress grinned.
"Here's to us," one of them took out his ale flask and popped it open, prompting the rest of them to follow suit. "Who's like us? Damn few. And they're all dead!"
Roaring laughter ran through the chamber.