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[HmH]

"That's unfortunate, Robert, most unfortunate. For you. Sunny! I no longer respect my alliance with this traitor. Delay him, and I shall heal you!"
If Sunny attacks the rubber duck, heal Sunny's wounds.
Otherwise, Transplant Mr. Diffindo's massive shoes onto my feet.

[Sheb]

Well, Doc. Would you rather watch them die fighting each other before we slug it out? This is a last-toy-standing deathmatch doc. We either finish our alliance now, or we finish it later...

[HmH]

"You have a terrible sense of timing, Robert. The difference between 'now' and 'later' is that right now I can get armed assistance from your opponents - something I would be unable to do if they were dead."

[Sheb]

Well, then you'd have struck at me anyway uh?

I though it'd be better that way, fighting between us so that our side's winner may fight theirs. If you're going to play like that tough, I'll have no choice but to kill them first.

Try to destroy the battleship's guns instead.

[adwarf]

Use my superior weight to crush, and drown Snuggems > : )

[Grimmjow6th]

Sorry, couldn't get the forums working at all.

Squeeze the blasted ship! If about to die, last words shall be "I love you forever and ever....*screwed up voice* and ever...

[lawastooshort]

TURN FIVE

Use my superior weight to crush, and drown Snuggems > : )

…Taking the initiative and deciding to use his superior iron-clad weight to crush and drown the usurper Snuggems, Sunny totally misses his fiendishly cunning opponent, and just splashes him a bit in the face!

Otherwise, transplant Mr. Diffindo's boots onto my legs.

…Meanwhile, Dr Boo-Boo takes inspiration from this amazing display of incompetence. He hacks off Mr. Diffindo’s feet with his favourite scalpel and then sews them back on to the poor mutilated teddy bear’s corpse! Teddy bear blood dribbles everywhere over the side of the bathtub!

Squeeze the blasted ship! If about to die, last words shall be "I love you forever and ever....*screwed up voice* and ever...

…Snuggems’ fractured head is giving him some gyp and slows him down. His hesitation lets Sunny the battleship in for a sneaky attempt at crushing Snuggems into a watery grave, but Sunny fails completely! Seeking revenge, Snuggems squeezes the blasted ship so hard its guts burst out the side, bloody and fractured! A bit of the gut touches Snuggems on the cheek!

Gut Damage Inflicted: Snuggems on Sunny: Fractured Guts!

ACHIEVEMENT ACQUIRED: SNUGGEMS: GUT TOUCHER!

Try to destroy the battleship's guns instead.

…Sunny’s guts are in sight, and Robert the Radical Left Wing Duck can see victory on the horizon! He pecks as hard as he can at the battleships guns, and he totally severs them! They fly off into the water and all sorts of blood drips out their bleeding stump!

Gut Damage Inflicted: Robert on Sunny: Severed Guns!

Competitor Status

Spoiler: Sheb; Robert Canardchiste (click to show/hide)

Name: Robert Canardchiste
Class: Rubber Duck : +1 to damage due to its sturdy beak
Wounds: [55/55]
Skill: +1 to Damage

Spoiler: HmH; Dr. Boo-Boo (click to show/hide)

Name: Dr. Boo-Boo
Class: Doctor Bear
Wounds: [HP:55/55]
Status:
Skill: Qualified in all things medical.
Achievements: First Blood! Miraculous Healer! First Simultaneous Action!

Spoiler: Grimmjow6th; Snuggems (click to show/hide)

Name: Snuggems
Class: Fluffy Teddy Bear Of Love
Wounds: [49/55] | Head Bleeding! | Head Bleeding! | Fractured Head!
Status: +1 to damage rolls against you.
Skill: -1 hit chance to people attacking.
Achievements: Gut Toucher!

Spoiler: adwarf; Sunny (click to show/hide)

Name: Sunny
Class: Plastic Battleship
Wounds: [27/55] | Hull Bleeding! | Mangled Arm! | Fractured Guts! | Severed Guns!
Status:
Skill: SEVERED!

Spoiler: MAP OF THE BATH (click to show/hide)

I’m not updating the map, I’m assuming you’re all in the bottom right hand B4 square (except for Dr Boo-Boo, still in E1) unless otherwise notified.

[Sheb]

Nice update! Well, what will I do... I'm not sure yet.

Climb onto the ledge, pondering what to do next.

Wait, I know!

Peck at the Doctor's head.

[HmH]

"See what you have done by throwing away our potential alliance, Sunny? Good thing I'm not busy dying from a bad transplant, or this would end badly for you."
Heal Sunny.

[lawastooshort]

Bump for Snuggems and Sunny. If I get time to do the turn in 24 hours' time then I will have to auto them!

[adwarf]

Woops sorry, After I am healed make a get away from everyone to the far side of the tub.

[lawastooshort]

TURN SIX

I'd dive underwater and bite the battleship in half from beneath.

…His mind temporarily taken over by a nearby roving hive mind, Snuggems somehow acts fast enough to dive under the water before attempting to bite the evil Sunny in half! His teeth not being razor sharp metallic jaws-teeth though, he fails.

Climb onto the ledge, pondering what to do next.

Peck at the Doctor's head.

…Meanwhile – yes! Robert le Duck for the first time acts faster than his rivals, seizing the moment and leaping towards the terrorist doctor making his way to the sinking battleship. He pecks him in the head! But he misses completely, and instead severs the doctor’s legs! The remaining top half of the doctor tumbles forwards and collapses into the bath, great trails of blood spewing out into the water.

Leg Damage Inflicted: Robert sur le docteur bobo: Severed Legs!

After I am healed make a get away from everyone to the far side of the tub.

…Desperate to get away and get healed, Sunny the Battleship drives as fast as he can towards the doctor, driving straight into him and …violently smashing the good doctor’s arm! It trails uselessly by his side as he floats along in the wake of the enormous toy battleship, who continues to cruise to the opposite side of the tub.

ACHIEVEMENT ACQUIRED: SUNNY: FRIENDLY FIRE CRUSHING!

Leg Damage Inflicted: Sunny on Dr. Boo-Boo: Broken Left Arm!

Heal Sunny.

…As the dangerous looking battleship steams towards him, Dr. Boo-Boo quickly gets his plasters out and smacks one straight to Sunny’s severed gunstumps! The torrent of blood immediately stops, but there’s plenty of it coming from elsewhere. Then battleship crushes the doctor underneath, breaking his arm and dunking him into the water!

Just then, a vast shadow rises over the battleground, and an enormous towering figure is lowered into the bath. It resembles a giant naked titan of old! Great big arms holding some kind of round beige object begins to rub the pale colossus, and immense spumes of soapy liquid cascade down into the bathwater.

Suddenly the face of the colossus seems to contort with effort and concentration, and its legs begin to squat! A horrifyingly loud and panicked sounding voice rings out!

DADDY! I NEED A POO!

Competitor Status

Spoiler: Sheb; Robert Canardchiste (click to show/hide)

Name: Robert Canardchiste
Class: Rubber Duck : +1 to damage due to its sturdy beak
Wounds: [55/55]
Skill: +1 to Damage

Spoiler: HmH; Dr. Boo-Boo (click to show/hide)

Name: Dr. Boo-Boo
Class: Doctor Bear
Wounds: [HP:45/55] | Severed Legs! | Broken Left Arm!
Status: No legs! -1 to movement. -1 to arm based actions.
Skill: Qualified in all things medical.
Achievements: First Blood! Miraculous Healer! First Simultaneous Action!

Spoiler: Grimmjow6th; Snuggems (click to show/hide)

Name: Snuggems
Class: Fluffy Teddy Bear Of Love
Wounds: [47/55] | Head Bleeding! | Head Bleeding! | Fractured Head!
Status: +1 to damage rolls against you.
Skill: -1 hit chance to people attacking.
Achievements: Gut Toucher!

Spoiler: adwarf; Sunny (click to show/hide)

Name: Sunny
Class: Plastic Battleship
Wounds: [16/55] | Hull Bleeding! | Mangled Arm! | Fractured Guts! | Severed Guns!
Status:
Achievements: Friendly Crushing!
Skill: SEVERED!

Spoiler: MAP OF THE BATH (click to show/hide)

So, now:
Robert is in C3;
Snuggems is in B4;
Dr. Boo-Boo is in D3;
Sunny is in G2;
And the defecating colossus is in C4.
Let me know if I’ve worked that out wrong.

[Sheb]

I'll rush away from the poo-dropping colossus and climb on the ledge in C.

[Tiruin]

B-bbathtub?!

Oh dear, my corpse is going to be desecrated real soon.

[MonkeyHead]

Haha @ poop...