It turns out it's very inconvenient to take screenshots in Hard Time, so this will be text-only for a while until something works.
Our name is Ulv Wittensbaschstein. We were convicted of terrorism when we blew up a schoolbus full of children. This heinous crime has gotten us sentenced to 60 days in Southbrook prison. Or whatever the hell the name is.
After being processed, we are introduced to the machine by a charming young man in a tight t-shirt, green pants, and a purple tie. He tells us what this area we are in, the main hall is. We can do all sorts of AMAZING stuff here, but mostly just occupy our minds by watching the TV in here. There's also some phones that ring randomly, usually family members calling from the outside. While we're being talked to, some towelhead from the East Block with an Avatar tattoo stares us down. He then calls us stupid. I bet he's just insecure and shameful about his Avatar tattoo while the rest of his body is loaded with some squiggles. Apparently, it's Arabic. It looks more like Hindi.
After this comment from Meta Muslim, we hit the books and start to study. After 15 mind-numbing minutes, some assholes comes up to us and tell me that we're under lockdown and supposed to be in our cells. We just arrived. It's not even close to 10 PM. So, what do we do? We steal his machine gun and shoot the shit out of him. Of course, we miss most of the shots, but we hit him enough to kill him and wound the other warden. This warden proceeds to... tell me that I've been watched for a while and the system has been shook up. I've been relocated to Cell 17, South Block. THEN he disarms me and gun me down, then puts me in a headlock. Apparently, I'm under arrest for... assualting him. Even though I just shot his friend up (he was screaming about me shooting him and threatened to shove my gun up his ass).
In the Court of MDickie, trials are not speedy. At all. The judge stares us down until we tell our side of the story. The warden says I shot the shit out of him. I tell the judge I caught him in a bad mood and was defending myself. For some reason, it didn't work. He slaps on 9 days to my sentence.
After the trial, I'm placed back in South Block. Everyone knows of my crime, and some dickwad runs up to me and tries to beat the shit out of me for killing his friend. All while the two wardens on guard are wrestling each other to death. We shove him to the ground and quickly run away to our cell, where we find some guy sharing our cell. We're cell mates, but there's only one bed. And that's it. I pick up a hammer and rest my hideously scarred body until he picks it up. I wake myself up, and he tells me that the wardens are after him. I take the heat for a nice wad of cash.
Having woken up, I take a nice stroll. At 3 AM. Apparently they don't want me to do that, but it was right open! So, I pick up a sword and start hacking my way through them. After some early morning murders, I pile back into bed, exhausted from mutilating two random men.
I see dead people. They're talking to me. The two dead guards start to talk to me, after I wake up. One of them screams "Look what you've done to me! I'll be scarred for the rest of my life!", while the other tells me to man up before he kicks the shit out of me. I run the hell out of there... into a group of 4 wardens in the Main Hall. Goddammit.
They finally came after me for murdering that guy in the study. Even though I already went to trial. Oh well, I run like fuck and the wardens accidentally start to hit each other, and then start to bodyslam each other. I pick out one and start to steal a nightstick, and beat him until he loses both of his thumbs. Of course, they manage to get me after headlocking me. The judge slaps another 7 days and gives me a $1000 fine for medical expenses.
The good news is, they aren't going to try to arrest me any more.
The bad news is, I'm $950 in debt and have a lot of enemies.
Such is life in Southbrook prison. Only 73 days till I'm out of here!
Ulv Wittenbachstein is a muscular man wearing no shirt. He's 7 feet tall and is pretty much Alpha Skinhead. He wears sunglasses, too. Our starting stats were 70/50/50 Str/Int/Agi. Right now they're something like 68/51/48. Sleeping damages your agility and getting beat up makes you weaker.
What will be our next action?
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Topic: Let's Play A Horrible Prison Simulator Blind (Read 12182 times)