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[forsaken1111]

Well this is a barrel of fun I didn't intend to open, and I'd rather not perpetuate the discussion so I'll just say this:

I've been there, I've had an abusive significant other. I realized it almost immediately, and I'm thankful I only wasted 2 months of my life with her. I left her. Its only as hard as people make it out to be. If you tell yourself it will get better and that you're better off in the relationship than on your own, you're lying to yourself. Ending any relationship is only as hard as you make it, and a relationship without mutual respect is one that you shouldn't be in.

That is just my opinion, feel free to disagree or rebut but I really didn't intend to start a discussion on abuse et al and I won't be continuing it.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I've been there, I've had an abusive significant other. I realized it almost immediately, and I'm thankful I only wasted 2 months of my life with her. I left her.

Not everyone is as fortunate. Its like people who maintain ties with their parents even if it's only bad for them, for no other reason than "they're family".

Its only as hard as people make it out to be.

Going against the societal grain isn't easy for some people. I myself can do it easily, just like you can, but you have to understand that there are people who don't share that advantage. I know its hard to imagine, but what their social group and their abuser wants can be equally as important to them as what they want.

[Ehndras]

Well this is a barrel of fun I didn't intend to open, and I'd rather not perpetuate the discussion so I'll just say this:

I've been there, I've had an abusive significant other. I realized it almost immediately, and I'm thankful I only wasted 2 months of my life with her. I left her. Its only as hard as people make it out to be. If you tell yourself it will get better and that you're better off in the relationship than on your own, you're lying to yourself. Ending any relationship is only as hard as you make it, and a relationship without mutual respect is one that you shouldn't be in.

That is just my opinion, feel free to disagree or rebut but I really didn't intend to start a discussion on abuse et al and I won't be continuing it.

Two months isn't enough time to build an attachment, hence why it was so easy to leave. Try finding out about the psycho-switch after 2 years.

[forsaken1111]

Well this is a barrel of fun I didn't intend to open, and I'd rather not perpetuate the discussion so I'll just say this:

I've been there, I've had an abusive significant other. I realized it almost immediately, and I'm thankful I only wasted 2 months of my life with her. I left her. Its only as hard as people make it out to be. If you tell yourself it will get better and that you're better off in the relationship than on your own, you're lying to yourself. Ending any relationship is only as hard as you make it, and a relationship without mutual respect is one that you shouldn't be in.

That is just my opinion, feel free to disagree or rebut but I really didn't intend to start a discussion on abuse et al and I won't be continuing it.

Two months isn't enough time to build an attachment, hence why it was so easy to leave. Try finding out about the psycho-switch after 2 years.

I would never stay in such a relationship for so long, so I guess I have nothing to measure that by. My sympathies to anyone who has been subjected to such a thing though.

[Ehndras]

I am a counselor for individuals in and of abusive relationships, sexual, child, and spousal abuse cases. Usually the abuse isn't apparent until you trust the individual enough to not want to leave easily.

In my mother's case, her ex husband waited 3 years of friendship and 2 years of dating until they got married to suddenly became a monster overnight.

Its easy if its obvious the person is a fool. Not so easy when you're dealing with your typical sociopath who doesn't allow his tendencies to manifest until he or she has you in their vice.

[forsaken1111]

So have we successfully scared the OP off from dating forever?

[Ehndras]

Derp. Not what I was trying to do >_>

Moral of the story is moderation and common sense. Don't forsake a chance for romance, but don't let yourself get suckered into a relationship with someone who's jealous, needy, or overly sensitive.

[nenjin]

Derp. Not what I was trying to do >_>

Moral of the story is moderation and common sense. Don't forsake a chance for romance, but don't let yourself get suckered into a relationship with someone who's jealous, needy, or overly sensitive.

You honestly don't find out most of those traits until you're actually dating someone. It's like "Don't date a serial killer!" Well, the only way you'd know that is if it was blatantly obvious they were a serial killer before you started dating them.

There's a reason they call it the "honeymoon period." Obviously bad mates aren't hard to avoid. It's what seems like a good mate that turns out to be a psycho that you have to worry about.

[JoshuaFH]

Alright, I mean, I guess I thought it went without saying that dating is also sussing out whether the other person is obviously bad for you in some way. But hey, it's great advice regardless, perhaps it's not the common sense I'd mistake it for.

[Hanslanda]

Obviously bad should be easy to notice, as someone else said, its the clever ones you have to watch out for. Don't be like me kids, test your mates with the DSM-IV.

[JoshuaFH]

bumping for the... I don't know.

I just wanted to ask if I should see a psychiatrist or SOME sort of therapist. Don't get me wrong, I view that entire branch of medicine with a great hand of well-deserved suspicion and resentment, but it's been ages since I've actually been able to talk to someone about my problems and receive some sort of professional opinion on the matter.

I just feel that I have a great many emotional issues that I simply can't work through by myself, these emotions being relics of the ages of depression, and mainstays of the parade of anxiety that has been my life until now. I just think it'd be nice if I could get some things off my chest, things that I don't think I can talk about openly even here.

But how? I've never actually thought "Hey, you know, I should see a quack" until now, and I'm not sure how I'd go about it. In the past, that is in my teenage and highschool years, I've always been referred to and forced to participate with therapists, much to my chagrin. Since attaining adulthood, I've never stepped foot into another such office.

I think if I could triumph over my plethora of personal problems, my residency in loneliness may be shortened.

[Hanslanda]

bumping for the... I don't know.

I just wanted to ask if I should see a psychiatrist or SOME sort of therapist. Don't get me wrong, I view that entire branch of medicine with a great hand of well-deserved suspicion and resentment, but it's been ages since I've actually been able to talk to someone about my problems and receive some sort of professional opinion on the matter.

I just feel that I have a great many emotional issues that I simply can't work through by myself, these emotions being relics of the ages of depression, and mainstays of the parade of anxiety that has been my life until now. I just think it'd be nice if I could get some things off my chest, things that I don't think I can talk about openly even here.

But how? I've never actually thought "Hey, you know, I should see a quack" until now, and I'm not sure how I'd go about it. In the past, that is in my teenage and highschool years, I've always been referred to and forced to participate with therapists, much to my chagrin. Since attaining adulthood, I've never stepped foot into another such office.

I think if I could triumph over my plethora of personal problems, my residency in loneliness may be shortened.

Okay. First, I'm just going to say this: If you think you need help, GO GET HELP. Do it. Don't think about it, just do it.

That said, I have a bit of personal experience with therapy. I'm on Drug Court, which is unimportant-ish, and they assigned me a counselor, which is important to this discussion. My problem with this counselor is that I can't trust her. She says I can and that nothing I say will be told to the judge or anything like that, but I don't believe her because I know it is a lie. I literally have seen and heard the lie being proven to be wrong. The counselors do discuss privileged information with the judge and with each other, and that does not inspire trust in me. It makes me very angry. I have a lot of repressed anger, so its not a good thing to have my COUNSELOR adding to it.
Basically what I'm getting at, is if you get a therapist, it has to be someone YOU TRULY CAN TRUST. If you do not trust them, then the therapy is useless. Trust me, I know. I just give my counselor a little schtick along the lines of 'I have trouble talking to girls I like', which is partially true, but it doesn't bother me and I can manage the whole 'girls' thing just fine as is. Without that total trust there, she does me no good because I can not open up to her.
If you don't trust YOUR therapist/quack, then they will just be wasting your money. By all means, get the help you need. But make sure its the RIGHT help. Be choosy, because whatever issues you have are EXTREMELY important to you, and incredibly serious. Don't let me scare you, I just want you to be cautious and get good help.
Good luck,
Hanslanda

[JoshuaFH]

As I said, it's more of matter of how. I don't have a family doctor to go to, or a general practitioner to give me a referral. I'm not sure how I'd go about finding one, or if insurance would bother to cover something that, atleast I perceive as, completely trivial and unnecessary, yet carries a nontrivial expense.

EDIT: Though to more thoroughly address your post, yeah, trust is way important. Though I'd like to think that I'd be trusting them as a person more than as a doctor.

[Hanslanda]

I think a g.p. will just want you to take xanax or something, which is no good. I believe you might be able to find an insurance agency that would cover it, but idk for sure. Let's wait for someone more knowledgeable to come along.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I just wanted to ask if I should see a psychiatrist or SOME sort of therapist. Don't get me wrong, I view that entire branch of medicine with a great hand of well-deserved suspicion and resentment, but it's been ages since I've actually been able to talk to someone about my problems and receive some sort of professional opinion on the matter.

Let me just preface the rest of the post with the following acknowledgement of my own bias: I do not like psychologists and view many but not all fields of psychology as invalid. Only the most hard evidence-based psychological theories are legitimate in my mind. I think that there are a good deal of psychologists who practice pseudoscience and intentionally or unintentionally cause their patients to become dependent upon them. I also feel that the prescription of psychiatric drugs are commonly used as a simple quick-fix and in many cases do more harm than good. I consider non-pharmaceutical therapy to be critically undervalued.

I just feel that I have a great many emotional issues that I simply can't work through by myself, these emotions being relics of the ages of depression, and mainstays of the parade of anxiety that has been my life until now. I just think it'd be nice if I could get some things off my chest, things that I don't think I can talk about openly even here.

Why do you believe that you can't work through your issues on your own?

You've told us practically everything else about your problems. I won't try to convince you to talk about your past, but one of the inherent advantages of the internet is anonymity.

But how? I've never actually thought "Hey, you know, I should see a quack" until now, and I'm not sure how I'd go about it. In the past, that is in my teenage and highschool years, I've always been referred to and forced to participate with therapists, much to my chagrin. Since attaining adulthood, I've never stepped foot into another such office.

See, this is yet another issue I take with therapists. Getting help involves wanting help. Schools believing they can force it is just another issue on the stack.

I think if I could triumph over my plethora of personal problems, my residency in loneliness may be shortened.

There is no magical goalpost to not be lonely, but wanting to deal with your personal issues is a positive goal.

That said, I have a bit of personal experience with therapy. I'm on Drug Court, which is unimportant-ish, and they assigned me a counselor, which is important to this discussion. My problem with this counselor is that I can't trust her. She says I can and that nothing I say will be told to the judge or anything like that, but I don't believe her because I know it is a lie. I literally have seen and heard the lie being proven to be wrong. The counselors do discuss privileged information with the judge and with each other, and that does not inspire trust in me. It makes me very angry. I have a lot of repressed anger, so its not a good thing to have my COUNSELOR adding to it.

Side note: If you are in the United States, this may or may not be a very illegal practice by these counselors. I would consider contacting a lawyer and discovering if these conversations are considered to be legally privileged in your area. If they are, you could both get anything they tell to the judge thrown out of court and sue them.